This thread is permanently archived
The Last Yandere (Android/iOS)
| Here's the android link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appsir.thelastyandere
Thank you!
| Hi, anon!
I'm someone that frequents in playing VNs, don't mind me taking a jab at your game — expect some reviews here and in the PS link ASAP!
| As promised, I have reviewed the app in Play Store and I'll dump my full text review here.
| That was a ride, I suppose?
If this is your first time, I definitely see it; the usual flaws of the first project is definitely visible here.
For one, the story had no real fluidity to it. It felt like events stitched together to resemble a story. The story jumps randomly at times, and it is often too predictable.
| The characters are in their cliched archetype: evil company, evil doctor, secretly evil sister, and of course, the yandere and the "social loser" protagonist.
I wish the story was much more spanned, much developed; I could see the emphasis of Kara being a real character, not a cardboard cutout yandere. I could see Lilith being a real manipulator, not a simple "I betray you at the last moment" character.
| The dialogue felt somewhat dumbed down. If you have done character studies solely from anime or manga (or both), then this shows clearly. I can imagine these being set in an anime, but in a VN, it doesn't go well, sorry.
| I definitely know this is only an "introduction" to a trilogy you plan on doing, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, sadly. If this was the second or third story out of the trilogy, I would see the reason, but the fact that it should be something that introduces us, the players, to the world you're building makes it even more bitter.
| While I usually would criticise and drop this as hard as possible, I understand the weight and stage fright it must've felt to introduce this to the public. As such, I think you've done well for project.
Keep up improving and polishing, you'll be up there soon.
| >>64504
That was quick, I guess it's a short one?
I appreciate how you gave a review with your honest opinions and didn't hold back though. People need to do that more often, it's not being mean it's being helpful.
| >>64529
It was. It had three chapters, they each segment to around five minutes of gameplay.
I had to retry a couple times during chapter two because Kara kept killing me whenever I throw a wrong answer.
Also, thank you for the kind words!
| @6b64c5
Thank you so much for the review! I'll take note of everything you said to help me with the next two sequels.
| >>6b64c5
Thank you so much for the review! I'll take note of everything you said to help me with the next two sequels.
| >>6b64c5
I really appreciate how you did a pull no punches review but still said i did well for my first. This was educational and inspiring for me. I was really scared sharing this at first but decided that releasing this VN would help me make better ones in the future. Learning by doing
| >>6b64c5
Everything you said was accurate. Next time, I hope I impress you. I'll practice char development and pacing better. Probably make the story more grounded and a little bit longer. And probably a bigger twist here and there too
| :)
This thread is permanently archived
| Hello everyone. I made a short visual novel called The Last Yandere. It's my first time. Hope you like it!