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Im turning into a criminaly online idiot
| don't worry OP. the more mentally ill you become, the better your posts on this website will be! ^^
| >>def665
The town im going to is bigger, and im going to have a job there, so in terms of social interactions, i'll be satisfied, but GEEZ.
You know the society's expectations of you dating or some shit ? I don't think i can do it g/u/rls. I can't find someone i love romantically, the only people i REALLY love, i love them in a way that is bigger than romantical love that is gooey and fucked up and i HATE IT.
| When i fall in "love" with someone, it's only physically, then it's a fucking disasterrrrr because either i can't maintain interest in them, so i don't date them, or either i love them too much to get romantically involved.
| I wish i will be able to love and feel loved.
Because i AM loved, i just don't feel it at all.
I miss my friends, i miss the times at parties were i would flirt with a gal and it would go smoothly.
| I'm scared of sex to be honest, as most as i want it. Last time i had sex i felt nothing.
I got scared "SO THATS IT ? THATS THE THING I WAS LONGING FOR ?".
But a friend of mine talks of his sexual experience and gets a full wallop outta it, it's like if he went to Universal Studios every single week.
It gives me hope, but also a big hunk of jealousy and emptiness.
I wish i could do that, i wish i could have this crazy and fun and extravagant way of life.
| >>894935 dont worry, the more experience you have the more fun it gets, if you have a right partner
| It also looks like apart of everything else you're anxious before moving out to other life, I guess you'll get calm pretty soon after it happens
| >>894923 2 months? lol xd
you are at least having 1 real life friend more than me.. intrusive thoughts can be bad, but it's unlikely that they would become real, just make your mind busy by something else. And if you can't sleep because you have something in room, just move it, throw it or so. Later you will may realize that you need it, and than later you will realize that you can control it your thoughts..
| >>894927 >>894929 >>894933 you will be fine, at least you are obviously more extrovert than me xd some people will may laught, but i doubt that they can hate you.. also some shy people can may feel fine around you
| >>894933 >>894935 you don't need to hurry.. it doesn't must lead to love or sex.. you can being just friends.. and if you both will feel really well together than maybe something more
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| It has been 2 whole month the only person i've talked to face to face are my mom and step dad, the intrusive thoughts are turning me into a terrified goblin, that cannot develop or change in a good way.
I know im not a bad person, but jeez my thoughts suck ass recently.
I'm gonna move in with a friend soon tho, but i'm afraid i'll be a human disaster.
Would fucking kill to get a hug, i don't care about pussy or dick, i just want someone to love me.