Post number #800605, ID: db580c
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You may think this is a shitpost and laugh hard about this, and I'd be glad. But what I now am going to inform you about, is a total truth, and happened less then 10 minutes ago.
Post number #800606, ID: db580c
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So, I'm in the countryside house RN, and it's november, right? There are several apple trees around, and they give A LOT of fucking apples. I've been eating them and giving away to everyone since august or smth. My grandparrents collected all they could and now keep apples in boxes. However it all is not important. What is important is that there's a lot of apples still laying on the ground. Most of them are rotten, some are not.
Post number #800607, ID: 5fbd1f
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I love sex.
Post number #800608, ID: db580c
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>>800607 I love you.
Post number #800609, ID: db580c
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So! I've got this one thing since I was a kid and visited this place. Sometimes I just go on a fucking frenzy, "KILLING" and "TORTURING" apples. I fucking THROW THEM on the bricks watching them SPLATTER over the area, I stab them with nails many-many times, I cut them with knives, I simply hit them fucking hard, I throw rocks at them and so on.
Post number #800610, ID: db580c
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While I do so, I become fucking insane. I laugh, I do faces, I fucking roar, I scratch my teeth while KILLING apples. I feel myself like a fucking maniac. Like a fucking maniac. Like a fucking maniac, basically.
Post number #800613, ID: db580c
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And this is what happened now as well. I commited a fucking GENOCYDE of apples. I became their DOOM. Laughing and torturing everything I could find. I was so cynical, I was so inhumanely cruel and brutal to these apples, that my face had a horrible grin all the time. I blew apples apart and throwed the apple "guts" at other apples, saying something like "Do you like the intestants of your fellow apples? Kiss this shit, yeah, KISS IT, FUCKER!!!"
Post number #800616, ID: db580c
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Then I've noticed there is an apple still on the tree. It was clear this was the Apple King, so I commenced the operation to overthrow his government. I declared, that I will spare life of an apple, which would be able to bring the king down the ground, and became throwing them at him. None were succesfull, so I brutally executed them at once. After a few minutes I found a wooden plank, and soon the king was overthtown!
Post number #800618, ID: db580c
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For 10 or so minutes I brutally tortured and humiliated that fucker, showing all this to his "nation". Along this I've killed some of his lieges and stuffed his guts with their flesh. I won't describe all the torturing I've done, so I'll say it was really fucking disgraseful for the king and his apples. I executed the fucker and splattered all the tiny pieces of him over the ground.
Post number #800619, ID: db580c
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After that I've executed some apples and marked the remaining ones with a knife, so they'd remember this nightmare till their soon death of rotting. Also I've totally genocyded a few apples which layed down in a little house nearby. After few more minutes disgracing the apples, I've left home.
Post number #800620, ID: db580c
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Oof, that's about it. I'm 20 years old, and I despise violence IRL. But oh My God, what a fucking monster I was to these apples. And I probably will do this some time in the future. Jesus.
Post number #800621, ID: 5fbd1f
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I told you this already, but I really like your writing style. You've got nice accents going on in this one too~ I look forward to your future works.
Post number #800622, ID: db580c
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>>800621 I really appreciate you liked it, however I find it kinda weird...
Post number #800623, ID: 5fbd1f
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>>800622 It's a departure from what you usually do, and the subject matter doesn't trouble me at all~ Come on now, it's just apples, they would've gone to waste anyhow. It's like one of those rage rooms where you smash broken electronics with like a baseball bat? Was I supposed to be shocked?
Post number #800624, ID: db580c
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>>800623 nah, I just wanted to let off the steam and to speak off, not to shock anyone. Also... what do I... usually do, you were saying? What exact;y did you mean by that
Post number #800628, ID: db580c
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>>800626 no really, WYDM 'what you usually do'
Post number #800631, ID: 372c64
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This story reminds me of the anon who once smooshed several M&M's together and mailed the "survivor" to the M&M company for breeding purposes. I love this shit.
Post number #800639, ID: db580c
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>>800631 ahahaha lol, what? Was it posted here? Sounds fucking hillarious
Post number #800642, ID: db580c
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>>800641 lol, legendary
Post number #800657, ID: ccec4e
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>>800641 It surfaced on bash.org way before 4chan even existed.
Post number #800668, ID: 05fb35
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Cute thread.
Post number #800671, ID: a45f96
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You sicko
Post number #800679, ID: f2b737
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>>800620 your bloodlust for the rest of the year must be sated by the apple torturing ritual. I dread the day when apples fall no more upon your fields
Post number #800683, ID: 0a3c12
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>>800679 if only it was the last bloodlust for the year...
Post number #800685, ID: 86fc3c
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Return to monke, smash fruit, acceptable recreational activity, little weird, at least you're not torturing animals.
Can't wait for part 2 where you separate the red/green apples and create a race war.
Post number #800692, ID: f2b737
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>>800685 OP next time please run some science experiments on them and determine whether red or green is the apple master race
Post number #800704, ID: 6916d6
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God bless your autism
Post number #800742, ID: f72435
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>>800685>>800692 Oh boy! I can't wait for Apple Auschwitz!
>>800605 Also this is the funniest thing I have seen all week thanks! Hopefully you can have more "fun" with the apples in the future.
Post number #800744, ID: 5d6692
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Can i being bad apple... And would you punish me? "^^
Post number #800745, ID: e77e4d
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>>800742 >hello, I need one pressurized container of ethylene, please >sure thing, what are you making? >*sweats*
Post number #800774, ID: 4831cc
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Behold! A truly cute evil. OP is cute evil.
Post number #800873, ID: 5e7785
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>>800607 OP loves torturing apples, and you love sex... with apples, right?..
Post number #800895, ID: 0bd2c3
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When I was a kid we'd throw the pears from my neighbors pear tree at the wire fence and watch them get stuck then try to hit the stuck pears with another pear to hit them through....
Post number #800906, ID: 0dbb97
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>>800895 oh I got hard...
Post number #800909, ID: 0dbb97
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When I imagined that juice streaming from fallen pears and pear "flesh" being torn by the fence, I got unironically satisfied
Post number #800910, ID: 0dbb97
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Also did you guys know my favourite mobile game was Fruit Ninja for a long period of time? Obviously, now I think about it. Well, the more you know!
Post number #800928, ID: 7eac03
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>>0dbb97 i much preferred the platonic version of evil cute fruit murderer
Op fucks melons, you can't change my mind
Post number #800937, ID: 80fba4
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good job for spreading apple seeds everywhere and fertilizing the ground
Post number #800965, ID: 5d6692
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>>800910 mine too, i did unlock every blade xd does it mean that i'm not sub anymore but switch?
Post number #801075, ID: ce6f48
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>>800965 the game was better at 2012-2015
Total number of posts: 43,
last modified on:
Thu Jan 1 00:00:00 1636290905
| You may think this is a shitpost and laugh hard about this, and I'd be glad. But what I now am going to inform you about, is a total truth, and happened less then 10 minutes ago.