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"Friends"
| There's this one good friend I have. I feel like I fucked it up. I'm sure that's not the case, but my dumbass brain can't stop worrying that I did and it's not helping my mental state right now.
| "love u lots! gn
sorry i’m not free to hang out with u lately"
That one friend told me after talking about my problems in our server. Just remembered that
She's very special. I'm definitely overthinking it. It's okay
| pls remember g/u/rl even if your friends don't want to be or are scared to get closer to you that's not because you're doing anything wrong. it's ok to have friends with different levels of distance from you. I'm sure if you keep trying you'll find the people you need.
| >be wet blanket
>no one wants to hang out with you
>surprised pikachu face
| I had a deskmate who had suicidal thoughts constantly. Was depressed and she would start crying halfway when we were walking home together. I remember not wanting to get too close to her after that since we couldn't really talk about anything enjoyable like we used to. What I am getting to is that not all friends will be able to listen to negative thoughts for too long. Life already sucks for most of us so people try to get away from their uncomfortable thoughts.
| >>742204
Problem is I feel like I don't have friends of any distance from me.
I'm always the one that has to initiate the conversation or plan hang out dates or things we can do together. On the rare occasions they say something, I always respond. In the past couple of years, I can only remember a single time one of them suggested we do something together, but that fell flat.
| >>742226
Believe me, I don't want to be "that guy". I hate talking about my depression. It makes me feel like an obligation and that I hate more than anything. I don't want want people to have to feel like that should console me. But sometimes it just gets too much.
And it's not like I'm always whining about my problems. I've only brought it up once in the past 5 years and only just brought up my recent depression this week.
| To move away from the negative talk about the bright side, things are kinda up?
I've been talking to them about how I'm socializing more and they see me chatting with others more and they're receptive to that. In some weird way I guess that inspires them, cause they have been responding to me more and talking more. That's great, it makes me not want to give up and keep trying with them.
It's nice that they're responding more, but really I'm tired of having to initiate everything.
| Everyone is giving you support on this thread, but there's gotta be some balance. Let me spit my thoughts on the matter.
Why the fuck do you want friends only to speak about your suicidal thoughts? Man, we all have our own fucking shit tondeal with, like to go on and having to care about other's shit.
Don't get me wrong, if one of my friends need help I'll go to help.
But in this case what you need is help from a professional, and if you are not willing to seak for it, no one will.
| >>742503
Fair point, professional help would be better and really at this point I probably will.
Even depression aside though, like I said the times I actually bring up my problems are few and far in-between. The first post I made probably doesn't sound like that. Kinda ended up turning that into the main point.
Is it realistic to be the only one in the group that initiates anything? Is that normal?
| >>742506
I kinda feel that. In my irl friend group I'm often the one who has to initiate if I want to hang out, since I'm the most outward and direct one there. But, it obviously varies a lot.
But, homie, I'll put out an offer for you. If you wanna talk, be it about hobbies, the shit you go through and struggle with, small talk or insecurities, then drop me your Discord here. I'll gladly add and talk to you as soon as I it here.
| >>742506
I kinda feel that. In my irl friend group I'm often the one who has to initiate if I want to hang out, since I'm the most outward and direct one there. But, it obviously varies a lot.
But, homie, I'll put out an offer for you. If you wanna talk, be it about hobbies, the shit you go through and struggle with, small talk or insecurities, then drop me your Discord here. I'll gladly add and talk to you as soon as I see it here.
| >>742506 OP, somebody needs to do the work of initiating things. If nobody's holding things together but you, that just means you have the biggest say in whether to hold it together or not. So if you think it's realistic, keep doing it! If you think it isn't, you don't need to. It depends only on what you want to choose, and the only wrong choice is the one that you feel more than the normal amount of buyers remorse committing to.
| >>742511
Sure, always down to make new friends nowadays.Just an alt, not gonna post my main here lol
GioGio#2317
Can always add you on my main later
| >>742742
Completely understandable!
I don't like sharing my main either, but I've never bothered to make an alt, which is why I ask instead of just dropping mine.
I'll add you straight away.
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| They fucking suck, but I'm so alone.
I talk about my suicidal times, no one makes sure I'm still okay. I talk about how I'm depressed again, no one asks what's wrong. I mention I want to hang out, no one ever commits. I hang out in VC to draw and tell them I'm always there to talk, no one joins. I confront them about it, they say they didn't know.
Fuck me. My current friends suck, but they're all I got and I don't want to be alone.
I'm trying to find new friends but it's hard