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hi again, g/u/rls
| this is too much for me to handle, all these emotions.
i'm suffering from anxiety disorder and it hurts but that doesn't even come close to how painful this feels.
i've endured a lot of emotional pain for as long as i can remember, but this one i don't think i can set aside, this one I don't think i can endure.
it's hard to push through
| it hurts so much, so so much. i can't take it.
| You need to stop the torture by ending it. No one's saying it's easy, but it's what's needed to be done.
| I agree with >>d85582
I KNOW how hard it is, I've experienced this before
You either have the patience to wait but you accept the fact that she MAY leave you forever (or stay :-) )
Or you just end it
Personally, I had decided to end it but he came back (with just one message) and now we love each other
Hopefully your situation doesnt even need the "fake ending" step and you guys get back together
| Aren't you guys overreacting a bit? It's only the second date.
| >>737731
I think it's because it's their second date, that they're overreacting- as in, second date ever.
Please try to stay calm OP.
| Yeah, I recommend staying calm. Sometimes when you're struggling mentally it's really hard to talk to people, especially the ones you love. She's most likely doing it because she thinks that distance while she's getting back on track would be the best thing for both of you because she doesn't want to be unstable and accidentally hurt something precious to her.
At least, that's what it sounds like. I've been on both ends of that before. It's going through be okay.
| >>737578
2 dates in and she's ALREADY hitting you with this shit? Run, OP, and don't look back. Trust me on this one, speaking from experience.
| You also have to consider the possibility (way more common) that she's leading you out to have her way of other guys.
Like I told you before, jump out.
| >>737748 >>737782
Y'all are genuine incels. Goddamn.
Woman = bad
Woman = whore
Get away from woman.
Like, Jesus Christ bro. Y'all ever been outside your basement? Y'all ever spent a day without browsing Reddit?
| >>737786
Sure thing. People don't trick each other nor cheat each other. Also, only women do that, not men, right?
It's something two incels made up on a textboard and never really happened in the world.
| >>737786
My dude. Holy fuck. Women are wonderful. Fucking love 'em, same as anyone. But this just screams emotional manipulation, and especially since it's started after just the second date, I can only see it going downhill. Well, that, or the girl in question is not ready for a relationship and should work through her problems before trying to build an intimate and equally fragile connection with another person. I'd say the same thing be it woman, man, or an attack helicopter.
| Idk the full story but it sounds like she's a flighty broad. Dump her
| Also why are you so distraught over a girl you've only gone on two dates with? What's the story here g/u/rl?
| >>737793 >>737795
Automatically assuming she's trying to manipulate OP or cheat and that kinda shit is just retarded, and you can't really deny that it screams incel.
But I was wrong. You're not incels. Just quick to jump to conclusions and probably not very understanding.
I'm not saying it's not a possibility, but immediately assuming that is rash. I've cut ties with people I love for periods of time due to my mental health. Not because I don't like them or try to manipulate them.
| Also, attack helicopter? Really?
| OP, that's actually kinda normal and relatable? I'm guessing you're a young person and this is your first real chance at romance. And personally I envy the depth of those feelings. But just as she is working on herself, so you must work on yourself. Temper this intense infatuation and try hard to occupy yourself otherwise. Take care not to become your own worst enemy, especially in love.
| >>737832
>that kinda shit is just retarded, and you can't really deny that it screams incel
Yes I can. As someone who has been on both ends of this shit at some points, I could not disagree more. That might have skewed my perspective somewhat, I suppose.
Don't quite appreciate the r-word there though.
>>737833
Yes, really. Your point being?
| >>737832
>Uhm, yikes, sweaty, that sounds hella manipulative
Now I know why you got so mad for seeing someone with the same habits being easily found out.
"Ok ok, my bad, you're not incels, I give you the ultimate forgiveness: mine".
That's why OP needs to run away, see?
| >>737811 OP here. yea, it's only been two dates but we've been talking for almost a year before the first one. We share a lot of things in common and i feel like we really understand each other, that or maybe i'm just inexperienced to know for sure. I guess I have to give a little background abt myself. Most of you think that i'm a teen, i'm not, but i'm not really that old. i don't have a very active social life. sheltered, if you will, not by my parents though, but by myself.
| >>737851
That isnt what was said at all and your hughly dishonest framing of it makes it very clear that you aren't here to have an actual discussion about this anyways
and yes, deciding that because you got cheated on or something bc your ex got distant meabs it's the way of the world is absolutely you casting a bias that can be interpreted as incel adjacent
| >>737873
>but we've been talking for almost a year
Yah okay that's an important detail.
Keep doing what you're doing then, maybe chill out a bit and find something to distract yourself with. Do try to keep contact though even if you're not gonna meet or have any "substantial" talks.
Has something like that happened before though?
| If someone honestly tells you they need a break and give you reasons instead of ghosting you give them that benefit you fucking dork lmao no wonder yoiur exes left you guys (those of you who actually had any foray into relationships at all that is)
| >>737873
Stick with it. Endure the hunger pangs. Take up a hobby and hang with friends online or off. Your oatience is the best gift you can offer her.
| >>737873
>most of you think that i'm a teen, i'm not, but i'm not really that old.
>that old
>old
>i'm not,
OP, are you in highschool?
| >>737876
I'm not here to have a "serious discussion" and I never will, lol. Just trying to help a dude (OP) having a hard time because of problematic people.
Thing is, I can be an incel or a wizard or a dinosaur. It's not something that offends me. Same cannot be said of you, since having a meltdown by having the spotlight pointed towards you is a clear sign of "something".
Besides, literally everyone with a dirty sheet tend to hide after the incel shill after being found.
| >>737877
Seriously, this person is clearly not healthy. All shills to "always keep chasing after ~people like me~".
I woudn't be surprised if I found out this person is a Cluster B...
| >>737878
I clearly stroke a nerve when by mentioning his/her destructive behavior, he/she's still madly punching the incel scarecrow...
| I just pointed all of that to say:
OP and everyone else - Do what want at the end, by all means, but if you're asking for a piece of advice: keep miles away from these emotional vampires or you'll be going through hell...
| This person will surely have an even bigger meltdown now and I'm not interested in watching it so bye and best of luck to OP and anyone who might have fallen for the same trap.
| Jesus christ calm down you fuckin incel
Type more paragraphs
| OP here.
>>737885 College. Second year.
>>737877 This situation has never happened before. We talk about our own problems, all sorts of. but it seems after our second date, her mental health took a turn for the worse. She assured me that I was not the reason for it, and that her decision to be on a hiatus from our relationship isn't really what she wants to do, but feels like she needed to.
| >>737924
If that's the case, just leave it at that, imo. Most people your age wouldn't have the maturity to be up front about their mental/emotional health anyway, and instead sally forth, all the while becoming worse (and unintentionally torpeding the relationship in the process).
What's happening here is a blessing.
| >>737924
Just take her word for it, and give her time. Make sure she knows you wish the best for her, and when she's ready to talk again then she's ready to talk again.
If you don't like her enough to wait then break it off and move on, but if you love and trust here then you should wait and see how it goes and support her through the process as much as she'll allow.
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| i'm the guy who went on a date.
we went on a second date, it was fun. i would have love to elaborate on that more, but rn, i feel sad.
just today, she said we should not talk for a few weeks as she tries to make herself feel better, mentally and emotionally.
and it really hurts, guys, i can't bear the thought that for weeks, she will not talk to me. it's like i'm being stabbed in the chest repeatedly