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How to become comfortable with racial slurs
| Learn to program really well, then change your name to Terry
| I spend a lot of time with my best friend, and he knows that I have tics and what they are and stuff, and he also has tics himself so he knows how bad it can hurt you to hold back tics and knows that it's, well, involuntary.
He wants me to stop holding back my offensi tics when I'm around him, because he can tell that I hold back and that it hurts me, but, it's so embarrassing to be white as fuck saying racial slurs and similar, even though it's not something I have control over.
| don't worry nigger it's ok
| Huh. I've been trying to think of how to respond to this but honestly all I got is that you should seek professional help.
I think it's good that you're holding it in and that being rude makes you uncomfortable, but I honestly don't know the extent of this kind of condition.
| ^^^^^
| >>713134
I have a therapist, but this isn't something you can really do anything about. I think some hard meds can calm it down a little, but it's not constant and I get very easily addicted to stuff like that.
The problem with holding it in though is that it's the opposite of what a professional would recommend, and it really hurts to do so, and when you're actively trying to avoid having a certain tic it increases your stress level which makes it more likely to happen. It sucks.
| >>713167
I wouldn't. I would apologize a bunch and explain. Why would I wanna be aggressive towards someone when I didn't even want to say it?
For now I just want to get comfortable having those tics in front of my best friend though. Not in public.
| Yeah, I think the best you can do is be more open with your friend and, when not with your friend, inform whoever you're talking to that you have this problem.
Can I just say though, that I think you're a very nice person, op, and I hope you can figure this out!
| >>713195
It's very hard though. I know that he's okay with it and understands but it's still difficult for me to let it happen when I'm not alone. But, you're right.
Thank you. That's really nice. I hope I can as well.
| Good luck.
| Wow some of these responses are fucking dogshit
| Now it just feels like you're making fun of me...
I guess that's fine though. It's probably better than being super serious.
| >>713368
you've learned an important thing though my nigger. don't take yourself too seriously. life itself is a joke, a beautiful sad exciting joke, and it's better to laugh along with it.
btw your tourettes probably just niggers aloud because you consider it to be a super smash bomb of a swear word, so the answer is really to just stop caring about it and de-repress, just saying
| >>713377
Well, to be completely honest I don't take it very seriously. I usually joke about the fact that I have it as a tic and I don't think the word should be taken as seriously as some people take it, but it's also very embarrassing.
| >>713411
where i'm coming from is the idea that repressing thought or emotion takes a lot of mental resources and can end up consuming you and just be worse overall.
| If I'm being super honest, if it was just the word itself I probably wouldn't have been that embarrassed. But it's usually in weird sentences, or, one of them that I got recently that is very embarrassing is "nigger-poggers". Just writing that makes me feel like shit. If someone doesn't know that I have tics and stuff I probably just sound like some edgy, white 13 year old trying to be funny, when in reality I can't control it and find it really embarrassing.
| >>713413
Oh, sorry. That reply loaded after I sent the message above.
I do understand that, yeah. And you're right. When I'm with my best friend and I start having tics 50% of all I think about is that I don't want to have those tics, or how I find those tics embarrassing, and it just makes it even worse until I feel a lot of pain and exhaustion and can't really think anymore and stuff, which sucks.
| >nigger-poggers
fucking amazing
| >>713422
It's, yeah. I hate it. One of the very few times I didn't manage to hold back a tic in front of my best friend, it was that. I'm very thankful that he barely acknowledged it.
>>713423
If this becomes a new tic I'm gonna track you down, slap your wrist and then cry
| >>713477
I dislike everything you just said, maybe except for the first sentence if I choose to interpret it out of context.
| Yo op, just be open to people about it, if they cant understand you situation they arent really a good person to begin with, its a hard condition to be in and I respect you
| >>713600
I am very open to people about it. At least my friends, and they understand. It's less about them and more of a personal barrier, but, I'm gonna work to get past that. I'll try at least.
Also, thank you.
| >>713744
Oh. Okay. I'll try to remember to do it.
>>713745
I am European, but I don't like that sentence.
| Some people are missing the point Op doesnt want to say racial slurs, the problem is that because of his condition he cant just not say it
| >>713755
Correct. I don't like not being able to choose whether or not to say them. Or, well, I can sometimes choose not to, but my body or brain or whatever it is literally punishes me for it, which sucks. That's why I want to become comfortable doing it around my best friend. Not because I want to become racist but because he doesn't want me to be in pain.
| I think the problem is that you're sort of asking for help in a place filled with bonobos. So unless you are a masochist, it would probably be better to look elsewhere.
| You know, I should have expected this happening, but I didn't...
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| I have tics, probably not full blown tourettes, or at least hopefully not, but I have a lot of them.
Some of them are very offensive verbal tics, including racial slurs like the n-word. I don't like saying stuff like that, so I usually try to hold back the tics when it happens.
But, for the g/u/rls here who don't know how tics work, well, if you manage to force yourself to not tic, it hurts you a lot. Like, you feel physical pain and it gets extremely mentally exhausting.