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Forgetting people you love
| I can relate to this at some point, I guess. I frequently get overly obsessed with different things, and when that does happen - nothing else exists to me, no matter how important it is.
| I mean it's impossible to think about the people you care about all the time specially if you haven't talked in a while. It seems pretty normal to me.
| >>710324
Well, that's kinda the opposite of what I said though. I can randomly forget people that I talk to every single day. If I haven't talked to them in a while then sure, that makes sense. That's normal. But I can be on call with someone for an hour and completely forget that they exist, like, 5 minutes after or something. I don't like it.
| I don't really get it. How do you uhh "remember" that someone exist? It's not like... remembering other people is not like remembering what you had for lunch yesterday. Do you just suddenly lost all memory of them and then when you meet them again you don't recognize them?
| >>710379
No. I remember them when I see or talk to them. It's a really hard thing to explain. I have some weird mental problems though, and I think it's at least partially because of them, because sometimes it's, like, almost like I lose object permanence. Like, if they are out of sight even if they were just in sight, then my mind sometimes tells me they don't exist. Then that mixed with some other weird feelings make me forget that I ever did, and that they still do. Idk.
| idk, happened to me when I hadn't rly seen or talked to any of my friends for a long few months during quartantine.
studies keep me really busy and my friend isn't pursuing education so we don't cross paths that much, despite being best friends. life just gets in the way I guess lol, but it doesn't change how i care about them
| >>710449
We don't really quarantine where I'm at though, because essentially no cases. So I get to see them and talk to them and spend time with them and all that shit. Idk. I guess it's not a big deal or anything like that. It's just annoying and I feel bad about it.
| >>710430
So it's like... during these moments when you've "forgotten" your friend, if someone asks you if you have any friend, they wouldn't come to mind?
It's really difficult for me to wrap my head around this for some reason! Like, other people isn't really something I consciously think about? They're like, like if my brain is a library, and the memories I have of my friends are books, they're just sitting on the shelves most of the time.
| I can pull the book from the shelf and read it, if I want to think about my friend, but otherwise it's just there on the shelf, you know? I won't look for it if I don't need it. Is "forgetting your friend" like, the book disappears, and when you look for it it's not there? Or is it like you feel there's a gaping hole on the shelf, without knowing what's missing?
| >>710287 that's normal. Why you think this saying exists? "You never know the value of what you have until you lose"
| I don't understand op. How can you forget something that is important to you. perhaps that thing is not really important to you then
| >>710516 >>710517
Mhh. It's more like, I can't really take the book out myself, or it's at least very hard. But like, if someone asks me about them or very directly reminds me of them then everything comes back, you know?
>>710559
Well, that's why this is something that makes me feel bad. Because what you said there is what most people assume, when that's not the case. My friends are the most important thing to me and the reason I'm still alive so when this happens it hurts a lot.
| Gosh, I hope not.
I operate under the assumption that things I forget are things I never cared that much about, so it would be horrifying to learn that I'm forgetting things I actually care about.
| >>710589
Yeah, exactly! I'm used to it though. It's been like this for probably a few years, and I've forgotten just a lot of stuff in general throughout my entire life.
But, yeah. It's not fun to, like, randomly forget the things that are most important to me in life, but, it's not like I lose the memories. They just have to be triggered by something.
| Well, my life is a simple cycle: I get depressed because of being unable to find anything meaningful/interesting enough - something catches my attention - I overfixate on that "something" to a point where I can't think of anything else - I quickly loose my interest - cycle repeats itself. And so, for the most part of my life I'm either depressed or obsessed, and during each people are nonexistent to me, no matter how much I love them.
| Well, that's why I don't have much friends, haha
I've never thought of this little feature of mine to be explicitly negative though. People close to me understand that it's just the way my mind works and they're comfortable about it, so I don't think about this very often in general. I'm usually too busy being obsessed or depressed anyway lol
| >>8a6ead
quantity be damned, long as you enjoy yourself in life that's all that matters.
>cue a long dead philosophy quote
>>710593
anyways op, forgetting is part of life since we're only human. just make sure you enjoy it and cherish that you can remember your loved ones at all; be happy it happened
| >>710655
Yeah! I'm super grateful for the people I love and I cherish the time I get to spend with them dearly.
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| Does this happen to anyone else here? Sometimes I completely forget that some of the closest people in my life even exist. Even though I love them dearly and they mean a lot to me.
For example, I had a bad day or two a little while ago, and after that day or two I had completely forgotten that a friend of mine who I talk to almost daily even existed. For a week. He had isolated himself for over a week and because of that bad day or two I just didn't even notice until a week later.