This thread is permanently archived
What's next?
| She also stopped telling me anything about this person. Eventually, I melted down (see cried like a bitch) and told her how I felt about it all and why. She told me there was nothing to worry about and that she would "make an effort to spend more time with me" but she didn't.
| After some drama between her and this guy (whom lives on the other side of the planet) started, that's when she started to talk to me again. And after some stories started to contradict eachother, I started to dig into them. And she kept a saying "well I didn't remember/I forgot" or "I didn't think you needed to know the details." After digging enough, (and her other friend slipping up) I finally got her to confess to everything. It took weeks to get everything. WEEKS...
| At one point, I started counseling as I thought I was losing my grip on reality and hunting ghosts. I even told her I thought I was going mad, and she told me the counselor would help. She let me keep thinking I was crazy.
| But having the truth now... Knowing she told him she loved him knowing that she sexted him. Knowing she thought of him when we made love. Knowing she sent him a full nude. Knowing she said she would have left our relationship if it wasn't financial convenient to stay. Knowing this I sit here in the emergency care waiting room, my body reacting to the pain she gave me with never eating or sleeping... A broken shell of a man I once was...
| I can't help but think... Why? What do I do now? What's next? I feel lost. I feel broken. I was a happy man before. Was... Damn it... Sorry for the wall g/u/rls. I just needed a place to vent she wouldn't see.
| If you know the feelings I am going through... I'm sorry. It sucks. No one should have to feel this. No one should have felt this. I don't even know if she's actually sorry about doing it like she says. Or just sorry she was busted.
| I have to worry now too. With her actions, she not only told this guy about her, but me too. She doxed herself and me. I didn't have a say in it. This guy is mad for sure that in that drama she stopped talking to him. Even blocked him on everything. But he is delusional. And I fear he would use what he knows to try and hurt her or me.
| And there's nothing I can really do. She didn't learn anything useful about him. She only ever got his name in voice chat once, and a d*** pic from him. I can't watch out for anything he may do. I don't know if he would dox us somewhere online, or even try to swat us.
| I need to move I guess. With or without her. She put us at risk. I guess that's what's next. Move. Get out of danger. Then get sorted.
| Okay, I'm next up to see a doctor... Again, Sorry for the wall. Maybe someone will enjoy reading it. Maybe not. Oh well... Thanks for listening.
| Oh man. That sounds awful. Stay strong, op. Take proper care of yourself and don't forget that you have us g/u/rls, and we will always be here to listen and help if we can.
It's easier said than done, I know, but try to remember that there's nothing that you cannot overcome. Life can be a bitch sometimes, and it will kick you hard. All you gotta do is kick her harder.
Let's beat the shit out of this stupid ass life together, op.
| >>3d4cf3 I thought you were op because of the same colour lmao
If the story you are telling is true just dump that whore OP, dating and even talking to someone like that is a ticking time bomb that is going to explode on your face eventually
| Have sex and have fun.
| Without honesty and loyalty there's no chance for a healthy relationship there. Just run away from her OP, it will hurt for a while but life goes on. You'll find someone else in time. In the meantime just focus on the things that you love to do and build upon them. Best of luck.
| I know for sure things will get better and your life isn't over so try to not worry about that. Try to break up with her. It's hard but it's much better this way. If she thinks she doesn't owe you shit then you owe her nothing too. She made you feel such pain for something so stupid and miniscule... She still deserves good but she doesn't deserve you. Either way everything will get better that's what I'm 100% confident about.
| Ruin her life by going public with everything, delete her from your life, and have some time for yourself. Then, when you're ready, start again. Except now, you know what to look out for.
| >>702260 There's absolutely no need for that and that's just a shitty thing to do. Imagine if someone did that to you, how would you feel? And will you get anything out of doing that? Nope, absolutely nothing.
It's a pretty unhealthy feeling to have , stray away from that. Just my two cents.
| OP here. After talking to a shrink, and my closet friend that had some of the same stuff happen to her, my plan of action is this... Start couples counseling with my GF. Find out the root of why she did this. And if I see her even set a tow over the line again, I kick her out that door so fast her runners melt trying to slow her down. I admit that if I had gotten all of the truth from the start, I definitely would have dumped her.. But how this happened, it just wore me down slowly
| I am still on the fence as to just dump her out of the blue now even. Maybe use a counselor session to do it even. But yeah. I wouldn't blast her publicly. I would feel like trash later for that. But I would definitely tell her folks that I'm sure she hasn't told yet. Just so they can lecture her when she has to move in with them if I kick her out of our place.
| >>230be5
>thought of him when we made love. Knowing she sent him a full nude. Knowing she said she would have left our relationship if it wasn't financial convenient to stay
I would dump her for that alone. She seems to be just a leech, nothing more.
| I think you're making a mistake OP. I understand why you chose counseling but I don't it's the right approach for this situation. Leave her for your own good.
| Without trust the relationship is done. Run away.
| OP checking in. Leaving seems to be the general theme of everyone I talk to... And today I finally had the thought that I love her... But I am not in love with her anymore. So I'll look for a place to move out to. And when I have the chance, I'll do it. It's going to suck for me. But I don't know if I can trust her enough ever again. Thanks G/u/rls for your support and opinions. It's time I put myself first, and get over this on my own.
| >>702647 That's the right attitude. It's another rough patch in life, resilience is important OP. You'll get through this. Consider therapy if you have nasty thoughts or talk to friends and family about it. And if none of that helps, you'll always have us strangers on the internet to talk to.
| And remember people come and go. You'll surely find someone else in due time.
| >>702651 OP again. I am currently getting counseling. I am lucky enough that my work benefits cover some forms of it (short term) 100%. So I have been seeking help when needed. My friend has also been more supportive then I could have hoped for. Thank you kind stranger.
| >>702270
Frankly speaking, if I knowinyly cheated on someone so thoroughly, I wouldn't be surprised if they attempted to destroy my life in turn. I certainly ruined their own, wasting their time and emotions that they could have used for anyone else- anyone who would have likely treated them far better than I have.
People with such disdain and disregard for others that they claim to love deserve the worst punishments that karma has in store. Who knows? Maybe it'll even make the victim feel better.
| >>702687
Good for you, OP. Fuck your ex, she lost out on a good thing for fake internet dick. You deserve better.
| You need to get her out of your life 100% at all costs.
I'm honestly a little surprised she's still alive.
| >>702771 OP again. I pride myself on being able to control myself at all times. But I won't deny the thought of driving the car into an intersection and getting hit on her side when we are together has crossed my mind. But I like to think I'm better then that.
| >>702961
That *is* a bit much, yeah.
Also- don't involve other people. Its not anyone else's fault that she was a shithead to you, except her own.
| >>702983 OP here. Fair point. If I truly wanted to make her hate me and not lay a hand on her... I would just smash her BJD collection. Some of those dolls are irreplaceable and cost a fair coin.
This thread is permanently archived
| So... My girlfriend of 5+ years has spent the last few months gaslighting me and then she cheated. During this covid shit, she switched to evenings at work for social distance, and I was still days. She made this new "friend" online and started to ignore me even when I was right next to her... Slowly, her body language changed and she kept locking her laptop or out of discord (something we never did as we didn't care about using eachothers computer)...