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my depressing redtext
| >wake up
>feel all greasy and drained
>go water my hair and rub my crotch with water
>turn on computer
>will probably do it all over again
| bonus: my room is a mess and i'm a neet
| I'm in a very similar loop. The only way to get out of that shit is by force. Forcing yourself to do things despite being mentally exhausted. Going outside despite not having to energy to do so. Find something to do that isn't just wasting time on the computer and then do that shit.
You can also choose to continue in the cycle though, which usually leads to a lot of suicidal thoughts and your mind being filled with irrational thoughts that make you view it as a good idea to do it.
| I'M DOING IT AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
| i think i'm going to do it.
| Same
| you guys, you just need a plan to get out of the hole, it shouldn't rely on self-control or mindfulness or other such bullshit. use the technology against it: get a router that has some kind of parental control "online during these hours", set something aggressive there, like 10am-9pm, lock the router in a cage, use random admin password, destroy the password, basically do whatever you can to break the connectivity for some period.
| you're still going to fill that time with bullshit, possibly, play vidya, whatever, in fact it's probably good to do it, it's a kind of methodone treatment. but the dopamine feedback of internet is going to be cutoff, and it'll take just a few weeks before you start going to bed earlier and earlier. i've had that system going to for years (i've had no internet at home back in the past also, but i've been wfh for a couple of years, so..), and it mostly works.
| eternal downwards spiral
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| >wake up
>eat
>turn on computer
>waste my time on computer until 5AM
>too late to take a shower so give up on it
>go to sleep on the floor
>i toss and i turn in my sleep
>wake up a few hours later
>i should take a shower
>too mentally exhausted to take a shower
>can't even find a towel
>don't take a shower
>go back to sleeping on the ground
>drift in and out of sleep for like 5 hours
>am in a mental hole
>just have death in my mind and it feels like i'm sinking
>resent being