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How do I convince my parents that I have to move out at 25?
| It's rather common in our culture (in a certain Eastern European country) to stay with our parents and support them, too. Even though they rarely let me give them money for rent, medicine or groceries (they get kinda anal about me putting almost the entire salary into savings), I still try to help around the house as much as I can. So it's not like I am necessary here, I think they just like to have me around because, well, parents.
| Why would you have to convince them ? Just move out. It doesn't forbid you from visiting any time you want.
| I've heard so many stories of broken families and asshole parents that need to be escaped from so hearing you mention how your parents are actually nice and you love them but you still want to leave them anyway... it's just difficult for me to register.
And then there's the fact that you know they're getting old, which just makes me sad honestly.
Either have a good honest talk with them about what you need or... be a little selfish and just force your leaving.
| >>677113
Because I want to do this on the best terms possible. I don't want to burn any bridges.
>>677116
Exactly why it is so hard. But as much as I love them, I can't hide under my mom's skirt my whole life. I can't depend on them all the time. And I can't always have them in my life 24/7, without a moment to spend on my own. Because otherwise, when they leave me, I might end up in a tough situation.
| Did they choose to live alone despite liking their parents? If so bringing that up should make them understand
| >>677128
My mom straight up moved to the city from a different town when she was 16, whereas I'm not up for something as radical yet. So she considers moving out while staying in the same place pretty pointless.
And my dad's relationship with his parents wasn't the best from what I've heard/seen from him, so he can't really relate either.
| Tell them that you and your lover wail like banshees when you get freaky and you don't want to disturb them.
| >>677167
Well, I'd need a lover for that. And everyone in this house realizes that's not gonna happen any time soon.
Which is actually another point my parents have brought up. As in, it would make sense to move out if I did that so I could move in with my significant other, otherwise there's no point. But there has to be an easier way.
| why convince them? You're an adult- just do it.
If they don't accept that, not your problem.
| If you find a job somewhere, that gives ample reason to move there btw
| >>677264
See my response to >>677113
>>677271
Well, the "problem" is that I found a stable well-paying job in this city already. The only argument I can think of is renting an apartment closer to said job, but that would save only around half an hour of transit at best.
| >>677170
Hire an actor off Craiglist for the day and put porn on full blast speaker after you let them in your room.
| Op seems to me like you can't even convince yourself to leave. And it seems like your parents need you to be with them more than you need to leave.
Maybe just spend more time outside? Even when you live with them you can still get some space
| >>678195
Yeah. I'm not 100% convinced that I need to leave. But I feel rather pressured here. Both by societal norms of "leaving your parents' nest" and by the fact that I can't really be myself when I have to uphold a certain standard when in front of my parents, but that's a whole other bag of dicks to unpack. Speaking of which, I can't really bring anyone home either, or even "have fun" alone, but that's not nearly as important.
| >>678195
I think they could manage without me. And it's not like I'm planning to move too far, so I could still come help out in the weekends or something.
I already spend most of my time outside, 6 days a week I spend only a few hours a day at home, not counting sleep, but I can't do most of the things I'm into outside, so I tend to spend those hours at home with them, as well as that free day.
| If you can't convince them and don't want to just leave - lead them to the decision.
You can't be yourself? Be yourself. You can't bring anyone home? Bring someone home. It's your home too. They can't understand that there is a need for you to move out if you don't show that. Sometimes words aren't enough. Just don't overdo it - and they'll happily kick you out just to enjoy some quet time, without bad blood.
And if they are cool with it - you are no longer pressured.
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| Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. A whole lot. Which is why I've stayed with them this long, I guess, even though they are kinda getting on my nerves sometimes.
The problem is, I don't know how to break it to them that I NEED some freedom in my life. They are pretty old already, and they're not doing too well health- or finances-wise (though not completely bad either), so it doesn't take much for them to thoroughly guilt trip me.