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What's bothering you g/u/rl?
| I'm mostly pretty okay, yeah. Honestly, now the main thing bothering me is friends not opening up to me enough. I've finally gotten out of my depression thanks to some close friends, but I want to help them back. They always seem to benefit from my advice, but they say they don't want to annoy me, which is how I used to think when it came to asking them for advice. It's gotten better, but I just really want to help out my friends, because I know some of them are struggling.
| That's great you're doing good, I hope your friends open up to you eventually!
| I kinda just lost ambition and interest completely, I don't really play much games, listen to music and only stare at the movie collection I have +the netflix that family got.
yesterday I locked myself in my room and laid on my bed staring at the wall for about an hour or two and only left it because I don't wanna bother them with it.
I don't see a future because I butt heads within family because one of them's an asshole to deal with, self employed may be something but idk...
| ...if it's worth it, I don't have talents, I suck at applications because I apparently have to write about myself, which I hate.
I kinda wanna just erase my social media presence because it doesn't give me anything, plus anyone important I can reach through other means.
| so in regards to work i pretty much am going through specific government agency workers to get something, which is just nothing short of jumping unrealistically high hoops.
| I suck at making and holding friends, my inaction is what probably makes it easy, that, and that I'm probably apathetic to just about everything and everyone like 99% of the time.
| As much as I probably should just get out of this self destructive phase, I... kinda just don't care about myself that much.
I'm up late pretty much most nights, questioning pretty much everything.
How I'm nothing short of a worthless neet who just does fuck all and stay at home, ignorant of what is happening, in an attempt to just not crash into another wave of depression worse than what it is.
| I can understand the long periods of time just sitting there doing nothing, I live with 5 of my friends, but I'm getting tired of trying, I never really felt I belonged with them, they're always doing things without me and I feel pretty discouraged from ever interacting with them, we had a lot of good times together but it feels like those times are over, plus one of them we have a ugly history that we're building up together, which is why I'm feeling guilty.
| >>cc6e88 should make it clear who I'm responding to, sorry about that.
But what I can say is that it's fine to feel that way, it's just finding a way to get out of it, whether you think you want to or not.
Positive thinking can be very hard.
| >>cc6e88
I can guarantee you that's straight depression homie. I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. The only real advice I can give without knowing you is that:
You are a lot better than what you perceive yourself to be.
You should try therapy, because that shit is really serious. I know you don't really care about yourself, but, wouldn't you like to feel joy, happiness and ambition again? It's something you should heavily consider. It can help you feel happy again.
| >>670417 I don't have one, can't afford one and the ones at the hospital apparently don't have a great track record.
I can't speak for myself otherwise about what I really want, any idea has been crushed one way or another.
| >>670421
Mhm. I still recommend you try. If you try a couple times and don't like it, you can always stop. If you don't like the therapist, you can ask for a different one. It's very apparent that you need help, but it's hard to help someone over an anon board, and professional help is very different from the help you get from others. Your depression might be caused by chemical imbalances, which requires medication, and just in general, therapy can help a lot with mental illness.
| >>670423 I'll at least see what I can do next time I get an appointment, my previous clinic were being sluggish or just... tough or uncooperative, so I've changed it, probably exacerbates some things but.. meh.
| Last time I said I crashed it was pretty much handled with indifference, which is a joke.
| >>670430 >>670431
Yeah. It's good that you change. Remember cooperation has to be from both sides though. I'm not accusing you of anything, I just have friends who didn't get anything out of therapy because they weren't honest with the therapist and then got annoyed when the therapist couldn't help. Good luck :)
| realizing i'm probably fucking trans and therefore going to ruin my life via losing healthcare and rights thanks to my gender identity
hurray for 2020 and thank god r/transgendercirclejerk exists
| Two years ago, I started eating at a nearby ramen place about once a week. It hasn't been open since we went on quarantine 3 months ago, and today there was a business for sale sign in the window...
| i feel like i've been getting more and more emotionally numb and almost never feel happiness. i can smile and laugh but i never feel happy and i don't know why :(
| I look in the mirror sometimes and genuinely do not recognize myself. that is my problem.
| i feel like everything i make is unoriginal and i genuinely can't get proud of it because of this
| >>670646
Originality is overrated. Nothing is truly original. Don't let it bring you down, g/u/rl.
| >>670587 no, I never talked to them much. as good as their ramen was, I don't think they were doing so well beforehand because there are many other ramen places nearby. it seems like they just ran out of money during the quarantine.
| >>670732
That's big suck. Damn.
>>670646 >>670658
Yeah, nothing is truly original. That's the thing. The best way to create is to take inspiration from something and transform it in some ways, or merge inspiration from different sources and stuff.
| I have a very important exam coming up next week and it keeps me from sleeping well. I just want it to end already :'((
| >>670865
It's okay to relax and sleep. You also need this to succeed in your work.
You can get there !
You can make it !
GOOO GUUURL ! ヽ(｀・ω・´)ゝ
| i am not interested in living in the world
| >>670978 don't have much more to write, fortunately(?)
watched some movies and listened to some music before sleep last night, everything's relatively normal for now.
I'm still here, reading the other posts here but not being able to think of something useful to write.
| My cat died today, she had a problem with her lung.
This wasn't something new, I already visited a vet last year and he gave me pills to feed her.
Thanks to them she was doing well again but this morning I opened my door to my garten and there she was laying...
The thought she may have been trying to get into the house during the night but me not noteicing it is killing me...
Maybe she needed me? Or wanted to bid farewell? idk...
| >>671061
I am sorry for your loss. From the way you talk about her I am certain she had a great life with you.
| I don't want to be around my communities anymore.
| >>671068
Thank you. I needed that since I have no one irl.
I have no tears left so I start drinking now and blast Safe Haven. Hope I'm wasted soon.
| >>671157
Thank you. I drank half a bottle of whisky, but feeling nothing bad because of it.
I guess it's because I drink a lot of water?
Anyway so fucking lonely without the cat...
I have to put all of her stuff away now, because I start to cry everytime I see something of it.
| >>671265
I'm glad you didn't go too hard on the drinks. You probably should be putting it away for a bit, yeah. I really hope you feel better soon.
| >>671277
I probably sound like a broken record but yet again, thank you.
Your kind words mean a lot to me g/u/rl.
| My mental and physical health is slipping and I have no one to talk to.
| I very suddenly got much, much worse at playing Valorant, and it's been frustrating trying to find out how to get better again.
| >>671420 usually I experience this as tilt, being angry usually worsens performance across the board, which is why I quit games like CSGO because there just wasn't a way for me to handle it.
best thing to do find a way to calm down and hit that training range.
| I live with five of my friends and I still feel lonely, I always feel left out and I spend most of my nights in my room, recently got a job so I'll probably go back to drinking heavily again.
| >>d9a169 Also I'm glad you guys are still keeping the thread alive, I went away making sure this job thing went smoothly but I'm in a low pit right now so I came back, seeing this thread still up makes me happy.
| >>672021 >>672022
I hope you can feel better eventually. Alcoholism is not recommended, but, I can't say I don't relate to resorting to that sort of stuff. Just stay safe, and maybe you could try telling your friends about this. If they're real friends, I'm sure they're not actually leaving you out, and it's more just you feeling hated due to depression or similar, which I also relate to.
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| I have something I'm feeling guilty about so I figured I'd make a thread where we can post our problems, are you ok?