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Why
| I'm living a nice life with a pinch of anime curiosity topped with being a cynical fuckup of a person
I always wanted to have nothing to regret from myself so i gave everyone same thing i expected them to give to me.
Well, that's when i started to realise that it was one sided
Thus i began living as distant as i could from others but that only increased my problem with finding someone
But i found someone special. He was just the way i am.
| He was nice to people, yet highly distanced from them. So i started to chit-chat with him. And so it went from word to word and i had a feeling that he now sees me as his friend, someone whi can tell anything. I began to like him too. To the point i would do anything for his good
We started hanging out, nothing out of ordinary. Just some meetups at home and talking about how was your day, or how's the blah blah blah.
| But some time later he began being more distant from me. I am a honest person, so i asked him straight what was the problem. He told me that he's straying from hospital to a hospital, but he doesn't know the details. I began to question him more to the point we've been searching at his home for some sort of clue.
We went straight for his parents bedroom.
It was just lying at their desk.
| Documents from hospital, i don't know how were they called, but the only thing that caught my eye was.
"cancer"
I was broken, shattered, hollow
My friend found out, as he looked through my arm and saw the document aswell.
If i only could remember the face he made, when he saw it.
I only said goodbye and left him alone
(i forgot to mention that nobody was home back then)
Soon later he told me that he goes through a lot, and asks me for mine help.
I refused
| I don't know why. I just refused for no certain reason. I felt that he would be best left alone. He just responded with a silent accept, and went away.
Some time later his family announced his death.
I just wanted to forget it and let it go. Yet something told me that i should go there.
| Just to reminescense about my old days with him. To not let it go. To not regret my actions. I've met his mother on my way to his grave, and as we've exchanged look she told me one thing
| "i hate you for your being"
I don't know if that's how i should act but 've felt madly happy about that, what she said. I have nothing to regret now
This feels great, that i could shared that with someone. Funny feeling, when something so intimate goes to the public
Indeed
| Why
I just died in your arms tonight
Musta been something you said
| We just went full throttle from 0 to 100 real fast.
Damn, g/u/rl. You just went through some hard stuff. I understand your viewpoint from the moment you know what his problem(s) are/is, and to be honest, there isn't much to justify now that he has passed away.
I know that you've moved on, but stay strong, g/u/rl.
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| I just want to say anything that lies within me