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altschmerz stuff
| i think this is fatalism. my troubles will never leave me. i think they're just part of my life as they have been for so long.
if only i had a gun it would make it easier, but no... there are not even tall enough bridges nearby, i could have done a cheesy outro like in sad movies.
perhaps i'll steal a car and drive hundreds of kilometers away. maybe something will change my mind on such a ride.
because right now it is plain and simple, i want to die.
| i want to be done with this bullshit. with everyday heaviness, with people, with having to be conscious. with this troubled world...
and i write this here just because. these things are in my mind and it feels relieving to put them down into words. still doesn't change anything though.
but you know, the way the universe is wired, maybe death isn't really that interesting after all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF_TYxWfx0g
| there's no real reason to keep on doing this shit. i don't believe the feel good bullshit. i have lived so many years with black in my eyes.
| i have been considering this (suicide) for quite some time and i'm still undecided.
but i'm lucid this time. this is not a mood swing.
| of course this thread is completely useless. nothing will come out of it. i barely know why i made it in the first place.
but i think that in weighing the pros and cons, the pros are currently winning.
| i don't want to buy your crap, i want out of the rat race. i don't care about anything. and i don't see why i should.
| original mix version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3JOjwBV2n8
| poking fun at myself https://pics.me.me/dear-atheists-if-there-is-no-god-then-explain-how-5393629.png
| cheer up bosnian kid
| well, now i thirst for (you)s. post em
| Step one: GTFO of Eastern Europe.
Step two: find something that makes you happy, no matter how glerting.
Step three: write down your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
Step four: ???
Step five: conquer depression and live a full and happy life.
Optional step six: have your journal published post-mortem and become a literary great.
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| shrinks are useless and i can't imagine growing older
life isn't my thing, i don't want any part of it.
i look back at my life and i feel a bittersweet emotion
some time in the future i will have run out of time and it is then that i will quit.
at that time i will look back at all my memories with the kind of feeling that makes you smile sadly.
and i will give up forever...