danger/u/
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Getting institutionalised (mentally fucked)

| So, uh, yeah. Last time I updated and thanked you things were beco better for me, but, things change I guess. Coming Monday I'm being sent to an institution in a city 1 hour away by train, and, fuck. I don't really feel prepared. I can see it going both really bad and really well. It's gonna be really fucking hard to be away from my friends so much though. After the first week they're gonna allow me to go home for weekends and stuff, but, shit.


| Hope it ends up working out in your favour g/u/rl! Stay strong, for your friends and us.


| >>616619
Thanks bro. I talked to some homies who have experience with the place I'm being sent and places like it, so I'm starting to worry less. It's still gonna be hard to be away for so long though. At least I'm getting hooked up with some cigs tomorrow, now that I can't smoke with the homies for a while. I hope the place isn't too oppressive.


| I'm getting way too anxious about this. Wtf. It didn't really hit me at first but after talking to some more people about it and having to comfort my sister and just thinking, it's starting to sink in. Holy shit. I'm really not ready. I mean, to be honest, it's good that I'm going there. I know it is. I'm just really scared. I have to thank you g/u/rls yet again for giving me the push I needed to start therapy last year, which has lead me here. I'm kinda glad, but really nervous.


| Sorry for the changing IDs, mobile data and unstable internet and stuff. I also hope you g/u/rls don't mind if I use this to vent, even if it doesn't get interaction, because I'm going to really need somewhere to write this stuff. It helps me calm down a little.


| I mean, how bad can it be? Not like we're in the age of mental asylums of the old. Shit can't be that different to going to a doctor's.


| >>616682
I know, but imagine being stuck at the doctor's for at least a month with only a few weekends free when the only thing that can come close to making you happy is your friends and activities, and you won't be able to be with your friends or do any of those activities for for minimum one month, with the exception of, like, 6 days or some shit, spread out across that month. I feel bad enough as it is, and now they separate me from one the main reasons I'm not suicidal.


| >>616683 can't really, have never felt that way. But staying at doc's for quite some time doesn't sound all bad, don't really have to do anything besides what they tell you, all the while you know you're getting treatment for something that's eating at you. Personally, I'd jump there like it's a highschool trip. Try and think of the long term improvements it'll make to your overall state and, potentially, to your relationships with your close ones and to focus on the positives.


| >>616683 It's what you've been bracing yourself for some time, right? Don't let all that built up bravado wither away, I believe you'll make it just fine, and I think so do your loved ones.
If it'll make the situation any better, think of them cheering you on.


| >>616684
Yeah, I know. I'm trying. I know it's for the best, it just doesn't feel like it, you know?

>>616685
No, I've had no time to brace myself. I was suddenly called in to a therapy session that wasn't planned and was told that if I declined going there they were going to have be forcefully sent there. I had no idea they were even considering sending me and I literally didn't have a choice in the matter because it's possibly a psychosis.

Thank you. That's cheesy, but I will.


| what is the purpose of sending you to the institution? what is the goal? what are you there to achieve? forceful institutionalization sounds sketchy to me but i also know i dont know the full picture.


| >>616810
Because they believe there's a good chance I'm developing a psychosis. If I am developing a psychosis they want to things as quickly as possible to prevent it from getting worse and making sure I know ways to handle it, possibly get me medicated. Thing is that a proper diagnosis for something like that can take a while, so one therapy session a week would be too slow. They also want me there so they can watch over me in case things should happen or I react bad to the meds.


| So basically, they want to observe me, talking to me often and make sure I'm ok, because they think I have the sort of mental illness that is life ruining if left alone.


| Hum, your feeling g/u/rl.
You decide who's in the right.
You haven't run away yet, so I'm positive at least some part of you wants to see it through to the end.

I'm with you. You can't really know for sure what's there. Just like a lot of things in life.

Kinda sucks you can't rely on cigs. Or does it ? I know you never expected this to be a walk in the park.

Will you be able to keep us updated ? Will you be able to call your friends ?


| >>616814
Yeah, I mean, nothing positive would come from running away or lashing out or some shit. It would be a waste of time, and I have to admit I'm kind of curious. If it does work then that would be really nice, so I know it's for the best.

I will be able to smok, most likely. I play MTG, so I'm bringing a few decks, and I replaced the cards in of the deckboxes with 10 cigs and a box of matches. Should work.

Yeah, luckily I will. I can have visits from people too.


| I guess a little update would be that someone from the place I'm being sent was supposed to call me today, but, well, now it's no longer today in my time zone, so I don't know what the fuck. It was so I could find out what I'm allowed to bring with me and when I get my days where I can go home and stuff. I really want to know that shit.


| Ah, have you had any answers yet ?


| >>616993
They never called me, but I called them with my therapist today. Smoking isn't gonna be a problem, I'm most likely gonna get a fair amount of spare time and people can visit me basically every day. So it won't be too bad I think.


| Maybe bring a sudoku book or a gameboy or smthn to pass time.


| >>617031
I'm bringing my Switch and a Monogatari book. Music and cigs should also help me as distraction.

Something really nice happening is that after hearing about this four of my friends have planned on visiting me my first weekend there, which is really sweet of them. I'm really appreciative that I have great people in my life like that. One of them I haven't met in 7-8 months, and he's gonna come visit me there. I'm really grateful.


| Stay safe out there!


| >>617057
I'll try. Thank you.


| im sorry you gotta go through this. i hope it leads you down the path of wellness. you seem like a nice g/u/rl and if i had a switch and wasnt autismo supreme id swap fc and play shit with you.

id say take a pad and paper and if you get totally bored you can learn to draw or write or something since youll probably have plenty of time for that.


| >>617078
Thanks bro.

I don't really enjoy drawing unless it's pixel art, but I do enjoy writing. I prefer writing digitally though, because my handwriting is, well, not nice and very slow.


| Glad you got some answers g/u/rl, looking forward to your first week-end there I bet !

Even though I have no idea what it's like to be in your shoes, I hope you make something meaningful of your stay at that institute thing.
Also it's a refief to hear you won't be confined for a month !

Wish you the best, to you and your friends !


| Just don't get too rowdy or they'll give you the booty juice.


| >>617135
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
Yeah, I hope I do. I most likely will. I'm optimistic.
Yeah, that would have made me suicidal.

Thank you! I hope my friends will be alright when I'm gone.


| I've been hospitalized a few times so speaking form experience I would recommend that you be honest with your psychiatrist, take part in any group activities, and do your best to be genteel to the staff there. If you have issues with a roommate just notify them and they should take care of it. While I'm not the biggest fan of how things are handled in these places they do tend to do their job well.


| >>617178
I'm always honest, I will partake in things that pique my interest and I treat people with respect, because I truly do respect the people who dedicate their lives to helping fuckups like me.

I'm pretty sure I won't have any roommates, I heard from a homie who's seen the rooms there that's it's small single bed rooms, so I'm glad I most likely won't have to deal with being living in the same room as someone else.


| >>617180
>fuckup
OUCH, that's kinda harsh, I think
(。ŏ_ŏ)


| >>617186
albanian lad


| >>617187
wat


| >>617186
I mean, I am, yeah? It's not fully my fault, it doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I'm just what would he considered a fuckup, and I really appreciate the people who spend so much time and effort to try to make people like me less fuckups.


| having psychosis doesnt make anyone a fuckup, okay?


| >>617271
It's not confirmed that I have it or not, but, well, yeah. I guess that would be kind of unfair to say.


| >>617190 "not fully my fault"? Did someone else push you on cigarettes or something like that?


| >>617378
Psychosis is not caused by cigarettes. Did you read what I responded to?


| >>617378 In general. Did someone else cause your problems? Just don't really get what the "not fully my fault" comment is meant for.


| >>617397
Mental illness is not something caused by oneself. I recommend getting educated on the topic of mental illness, because if you genuinely believe mental problems are always caused by people that might cause you problems.


| >>617487 bitch he probably meant like a trauma.


| >>617491
That's exactly what I thought. That's why I'm telling him that not all mental illness is caused by someone.


| Okay! So, I'm at the institution, I've been here for 6 hours now, and it's been pretty decent. I talked a little with a therapist as soon as I came, just covering basics, and since then I've mostly been in my room playing LoR:CoD. I've had lunch and dinner here too, and I'll be attending the evening activities that are: mindfulness practice and creative something or other. Hopefully being here will help. The people have been pretty nice.


| See?
Some good shit, hope you have fun with it.


| >>618296
Yeah, I hope so too.


| >>618283 nice! Seems like an okay introduction. We're here cheering you on!


| >>618283 nice! Seems like an okay introduction. We're here cheering you on!


| >>618481
Thank you. Knowing that makes me happy.

So, the place is nice. The people are nice. There is only me and one other patient here (at least that I know of), which is kinda chill. While I wish I could have been home and participated in my bi-monthly little Smash tournament I realize now that I really needed a break from my regular life. Having homies over on Saturday is gonna be nice but until then I'm just gonna chill and take things as easy as I can and try getting better.


| :D


| So, the therapist I've been assigned seems pretty, like, just not good at his job. I hope I'm just understanding it different, but, like, the questions he asks and shit are either completely unnecessary or he asks the same question, like, 5 times. I'll keep hope up though.


| >>618971 there may be method to the madness. if he keeps asking the questions they must be important to someone even if the reason isnt clear. keep it up.


| >>619149
When I tell him "My dad never does anything directly aimed at me, I just don't like him." and he immediately asks "Okay, so does he drink a lot of alcohol and beat you? The entire session was like that.


| >>619219 Unless you're knowledgeable in psychology yourself I fail to see why you'd question such an approach. After all, for all you know it could be the holy grail of therapy


| >>619374
That's maybe stretching it a little far, but sure. I may be wrong, but, well, I've been to therapy for half a year, and that therapist had results after one or two times. This guy asked me the same stuff way too many times and gave me the same information every staff member including himself gave me multiple times the first day. I didn't even get a session today. It's scuffed. I might just be an impatient cunt, but, you know. Being here is not fun, so I want results.


| Okay, so, little update. There has really been any progress yet, but they checked my brain for some shit and I filled out some question thing, so they've done more today than they have all week. I find it kinda sad that there's no staff here that is very, well, I hate using the word, but normie. All they do is the saddest small talk I've heard and watching sports on TV. Like, when they're not talking to patients, that's all they do.


| >>620244
Theyre not going to openly discuss how they fap to the brain scan images. Sportsball talk is just a cover.


| >>620576
Sounds about right.

Total number of posts: 56, last modified on: Sat Jan 1 00:00:00 1580046107

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