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Mentally Fucked

| Hi. I just kind of felt like updating the g/u/rls who are interested a little.

My hallucination like things seem to have almost completely stopped. I haven't had them in 2 weeks or something, which is probably an improvement.

On the other hand, I still feel awful whenever some sort of invisible switch is flipped on, which seems to be really often. I also keep seeing reality weirdly, if that makes sense.

I'm going to my therapist tomorrow, so I'll probably have more to say then.

| tulpa.info

| You should really acknowledge and appreciate this progress, don't push yourself too hard also, we don't wanna lose you mentally fucked guy!

Keep it up!

| >>601128
Thank you! I'm not sure it's progress though. It's kind of random when different symptoms disappear and reappear. It's weird.

The session today was kind of shitty. My parents came there to answer questions required to diagnose me, but my dad kept talking for actual minutes on minor questions about things barely related to the question so they didn't even finish the 30 or something questions even though they had an hour. I barely got any time alone with the therapist.

| You got this

Slow and steady wins the race

| The shit where I scratch at my neck and stuff and bite things is coming back heavily. I haven't had it in a while, but the last few days I keep doing it more and more. It's kind of uncontrollable but also kind of controllable since I manage to not do it (at last not in a spasm like or obvious way) when I'm around others.

I also keep feeling like reality is weird. Like the material everything is made of and the perspective I see it from changes very often, and that it's not real.

| Like, if I walk out the door to take out the trash for example, I might look around me and feel like everything is somehow made of cardboard. Not a "what if" thought or idea or trying to imagine it. Just a deep, uncomfortable gut feeling that everything is actually made of cardboard and that I don't belong in this world, because it's fictional. Lots of different, weird, uncomfortable shit like that.

| Literally chunibuyo

| I believe that reality is what you make of it, and how others affect you and see you, you should try to live your life your very best and also try to make others happy even if it is hard and your environment doesn't help, you should try to stick to and ideal, not a reality or a someone

| What im trying to say is that, try to find pleasure, happiness and relaxation within yourself and your relations to others, but most importantly, keep working hard my dude!

| >>601434
I'm sorry, I didn't find any of that helpful. I appreciate the effort though. This thread isn't really about how I view the world and my purpose in life, I already aim to live my life as happily I can. What I mean by reality isn't my view on life. It's that I feel detached from it, it keeps warping, it changes. It is caused by mental illness, and getting rid of that is a lot harder than just believing. I agree with everything you said. That certainly is ideal.

| Yeah, you got Schizophrenia.

| >>601578
It's still a possibility, but my therapist has said that psychosis is starting to look unlikely since I'm able to tell the difference between what's real and what isn't. When I hallucinate or get delusional thoughts, I'm able to understand that they're not real/not true. It still fucks me up, but I'm able to differentiate what's caused by mental illness and what's normal.

| Jeez, that's not something I want to deal with. It is however good to hear that you're still able to see the difference between reality and . . ."fantasy".

I really hope you'll get better.

| >>601639
Thank you. I hope so too.

Total number of posts: 15, last modified on: Sun Jan 1 00:00:00 1570779961

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