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That Bizarre feeling when someone cares for you but doesn't at the same time.
| ...Or worse, they get annoyed with you and insist you care about something else. I've experienced this a lot, and I'm nervous about sharing things for fear of getting shut down. As such, close relationahips end up being one party telling the other to do things and the other doing them for fear of annoying them, if thay makes sense.
It gets SUPER awkward when I notice people at work treating me the same way.
| It's not like I'm trying to be friends with everyone or anything. I just feel wierd and disheartened when someone gets close, starts saying some sweet things, then suddenly starts looking down on me and treating me as a nusciance. It's not like I go out of my way to engage often, I mostly keep to myself because this sort of treatment terrifies me on some level.
I'm not sure how to make it stop, since so many people do it. It just makes me want to hide from people.
| I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to ask the asshole question first: what things are you trying to "share"? And are you sure you aren't pushing it too hard?
People have different interests and that's Okay. If sharing your interest causes people to look down on you, that sucks a lot, maybe you can just, talk about *their* interest?
| >>591909
It's no problem, I get wherr you're coming from, especially since the internet is full of people with odd hobbies.
I don't try to get my folks in to anime or video games or other niche topics, so you can reat easy that I don't go on random diatribes about Sonic or what not. Usually when I try to share, it's about somwthing I built, a subject I am studying, usually tech related. I used to tall about art but that doesn't go over well...
| I'll sometimes try to talk about some views on life, but those tend to be ignored. I sometimes share music, usually Jazz, but the sort of folks I mention in my firsts posts aren't too interested. I sometimes talk computers, since I'm in a tech field, but that often gets routed to something else.
In extreme cases, any attempt to discuss things beyond the other person's interest is shut down. This is assuming they talk to me beyond commands.
| I'm more often to try and start a comversation with others outside of wanting something from someone than people are to talk to me at all. I try to engage first because I don't want to be tagged as the type of person who only speaks when he needa something, but I can't help but notice how rare it is for someone to call out of the blue and ask about me, rather than ask if I've done what the wanted, or if I did whatever task. Like it's often once per six months.
It kind of stings.
| But to answer your post directly:
I do often listen and talk about things others are interested in. I largely keep what I like to myself, for fear of boring others.
People tend to hop on me as being the problem in social situations, so I don't talk about any gripes I have. I'm only posting here because I'm anonymous and this post will b forgotten in a few days.
| Hmm. Well if it happens no matter who you talk to, then the problem is probably in how you communicate instead of them.
I'm just guessing based on how you posted and what you described, but do you have conversational autism? You might have missed cues and annoyed other people without realising why. You might need to put more (less?) effort to compensate for that.
It sucks, yeah, but it's just something to deal with.
| I once knew a guy who thought I was his best friend, while I couldn't stand him.
Maybe you fail to understand what others feel. You might think they're friendly or whatever, while they don't think they are, and as such when you get "closer" they push you away suddenly.
Or it might be something completely different.
| >>591930
I don't approach people, they approach me. So if I'm "that guy" someone, it's only because that person came to me in the first place, otherwise I keep my distance.
It's not a universal thing, I can get along pretty well with some people, and talk easily in a casual context. But there are some cases where I can feel what I'm describing in previous posts happening. It bothers me so much because it's similar to my relations with family.
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| This is something that's been bugging me for a long time, and I was never able to put it in to words. It's a confuaing feeling to be sure, and I'm still unsure if it's a good idea to share.
It's like, when a family member really cares about your well being, wants you tp be healthy and have good things in life. But when you try to engage with them.and share things, they visibly don't care and seem actively bored by you.