This thread is permanently archived
Corrupt A Wish
| I'll start us out. I wish for a new job.
| Nah, I grant no ones wishes.
| I wish people stopped making dumb reddit-like threads here
| granted, but you'll get THE ENDURING APPEAL OF DRAGONS FUCKING CARS instead
| Maaan, I remember silly little forum games like this. Now people just call it a "reddit-like" thing? What the hell.
To continue, I wish Miura would stop playing Idolm@ster and finish Berserk already.
| Granted. But Berserk now is basically a battle royale harem isekai with an open ending.
I wish to find the truth about our world.
| >>580494
Granted, but both the jet and you shrink down to the size of a fly, and your only possible occupation now is being that guy who shoots the flavor bombs into Starburst candy in that one commercial, and we all know how well that ended...
I wish for the ability to have all drugs readily available to me for free.
| Granted but you can only dance badly
I wish for a huge shield that's light and resistant
| Granted, you get a copy of Pokemon Shield.
I wish the last wish is overwritten into "I wish a copy of Pokemon Shield".
| Okay, got you
I wish to have a dogshit game
| >>580528 The most epic thing about this comment is that, by not corrupting the previous wish to overwrite the last wish, it basically states that the wish itself was already shitty enough to be corrupted.
Anyway, wish granted. You >>>also got a copy of Pokemon Shield.
I wish I could change my own tags so that I can comment on the same thread as multiple people and not look like this is all I do everyday.
| >>580535
Wish granted, but your posting style doesn't change. Which is the curse. Because it sucks.
I wish I there were peace on earth.
| Granted, everyone is dead so there's nothing to disturb peace anymore
I wish for nachos
| >>580547 granted, but they're those awful soggy ones from Denny's.
I wish Lewd Drawer-chan would make a post just to update us and tell us how things are going.
| >>580550 granted, but they've sworn off all lewd drawing so that they can live as a born-again Christian.
I wish light beer actually tasted good.
| Granted, but there is no more Light beer forever. Legends says it tasted really good.
I wish for uncountable wishes
| >>580573 granted, but you can only use said wishes to wish for more wishes, which you can only use to wish for nore wishes, etc. etc. You may have infinite, untransferable wishes that are only good for more wishes.
I wish spammer-chan would furrack off. Or be a cute g/u/rl trap.
| Granted, but you were hacked, control over your cybware taken away, and now you are a slave.
I wish to die.
| >>580664
Granted. You are given an unlimited supply of Monster. Good luck.
I wish for the US to be isolated from the rest of the Internet
| >>580665 Granted. You can no longer access danger/u/, if you are inside America; either way, you can't access a large number of AWS servers or Cloudflare data centers, making every large service and many small ones temporarily or permanently unusable. Then, after the big companies get all of their data out of the US, everyone who liked the old internet experience in America emigrates.
I wish I had a mini-fridge in my room that was always full of delicious food.
| Granted, but it's locked and no one you know has the key.
I wish I could travel the world
| >>580746
Granted, you are kidnapped one day and are smuggled from country to country in some middle Eastern warlord’s entourage. They force you to do unspeakable acts and you can never leave their sight
| Granted, you get no wish.
I wish another N1RV Ann-A Devlog.
| Granted, they just posted how their repos and backups were all wiped put by a hacker
I wish to never need to code in Javascript ever again
| Granted, but you can only code in php for the rest of your life.
I wish to overcome my fears.
| Granted, you are put physically above whatever it is you fear
I wish I was cute
| Granted you're so cute everyone is jealous and hates you
I wish to have more LEDs
| Granted, LEDs are cool.
I wish you a nice day.
| I don't remember having any nice days.
I wish phone makers to stop producing shovel phones.
| >>580778 Granted. My day was awesome. My night was fucking terrible...
...wait a minute, did you just pull a reverse card on me you furracking madlad?
I wish I was as cool as you!
| MOTHERFU-Ignore >>580781 I guess.
>>580780 Granted. Now, all phones are instead rakes.
I wish to know what a shovel phone is...
| Granted you know what a shovel phone is but you'll forget as soon as you see an LED
I want an LED POWERED CAR
| Granted, but it will electrocute you if you are in a bad mood.
I wish to buy a modern pc.
| Granted but is has so many LEDs you can't see any of the ports or buttons
I wish for neon LEDs
| >>580800 Wish granted. You now see neon colors on LSD.
I wish this dude would stop talking about LEDs.
| Granted, now I will talk about LEDs
I wish people liked LEDs more
| Granted, but LED would not like people back.
I wish to have a superpower.
| Granted, you can grow LEDs from your skin and light them too!
I wish to pass on to someone else this curse that forces me to talk about LEDs, it's tiring and I blame >>c4e5c7 for wishing the previous person to stop
| >>580812 Granted. Now your entire family, friend circle and everyone you will ever meet will only ever talks about LEDs with you.
I wish I had a different tag already...jesus, how long does it take for a tag to reset...
| Granted, you're using VPN to change your IP and get a new tag(it's IP bound)
But the VPN is super slow and expensive!
I wish I could fly
| >>580839 Granted, but now you pay $5.99 a month for a VPN company to sell all your information and make even more money off you.
I wish Kira Miki would hold a concert IRL. Like one of those vocaloid things, but with Kira.
| >>580840 o. whoops. Granted, but it takes years of expensive flight school, and difficult training. After which, your plane crashes due to equiptment failure and everyone blames the pilot anyways.
I wish sherbet ice cream came in the seperate flavours, so people could just pick up their favourite flavour, and not have to deal with the others. Why do I need to deal with green and pink? #TeamOrange
| (meta) it does where I live, you can buy just a tub of orange line raspberry etc at Kroger
| >>580842 Sherberh colors are now served separately from each other. They're all the same flavor.
>>580839 Your ID is based on your IP and the thread you're in. Just go visit a coffeeshop or use your phone or something so you're on another network.
I wish for Elon Musk to fly to Mars with a hole in his oxygen tank.
| Granted, but Elon Musk evolved already and doesn't have to breathe to live.
I wish I could live on Mars.
| Granted, you can live there for as long as you can hold your breath
I wish I was a slime girl
| Granted. Some weeb catches you, and rather than having sex with you, he mixes you into his mountain dew and drinks you.
I wish for danger/u/ to become the best site on the internet!
| Granted, but Google bought it shortly after and dangerous opinions aren't allowed anymore and all OG users got "erased"
I wish Google would be destroyed forever
| Granted. All web services which were once provided by Google and similar organizations are now exclusively provided by Bing/Microsoft, and they only work if you use Internet Explorer.
I wish it was always winter wherever I was.
| >>580848 (meta) WAIT WHAT THE FURRACK!??!?! BUT SCIENCE SAID IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEPERATE THE THREE FLAVOURS! Damn g/u/rl. Living the high life. I'm jelly.
| >>580895 Congrats, you just brought on the next ice age. Nice going dick.
I wish I could actually lucid dream, been trying for months and I can't figure the shit out.
| >>580899 do you really only have three colors? and they're actually different flavors? at the place I go to, the sherberts have the same flavor throughout but are dyed in stripes, and they have blue and pink and shit.
| >>580900 granted but you lucid dream all day and you can't tell the difference between real life and lucid dreaming anymore.
I wish I could find my lost cat
| >>580901 ya dude. Green is lime, orange is orange, and pink is... strawberry I think? And you get them in one container labeled "Sherbert". When you pop it open you see three sections, so if you just want orange (which is usually in the middle), you've got to dig a big hole through the center of the other two flavours.
| >>580935 granted but it's pregnant and the babies that will be born are half man-eating lizard
I wish to join EDF
| >>580977 woah i've been getting ripped off
Ok, you've just enrolled in the Edmonton Dwarf Fortress. It's a LARP group that roleplays buiding fortresses.
I wish I had a new keyboard.
| Granted, but you can't turn off sticky keys. And any key five times activates them.
I wish that you don't corrupt my wish.
| Granted, but now you are corrupted.
I wish for the Area 51 raid to be successful.
| Granted, but isntead of clapping alien ass cheeks, all they find is Donald Trump's clone army. You may clap his ass cheeks, but most don't want to.
I wish for a Tim's rewards card that gets me free double doubles every time, instead of once every 7 times.
| Granted, but you can't use cards from now on.
I wish to hang myself in a forest, so I can finally find peace in my life for all eternity.
| Granted, but you dont die.
| Your lack of wish casts you into the ether, where you float for eternity with nothing but your own thoughts...you cannot die
I wish to know how to cook properly
| Granted, your food is perfectly nutritious but tastes like shit.
I wish I had a cute trans girlfriend'
| Granted but she's pre transition f2m
I wish I had immortality
| Granted, but everyone else dies immediately from nuclear warfare.
I wish I could breathe underwater
| Granted you're a fish now
I wish to love
| Granted, but you're the childhood friend in a harem anime
I wish i had more socks
| Granted, you choose one person you can love with all your soul, but you can't ever love somebody else.
I wish to be a psychokinesist
| >>581421 granted. But none of them match. And they're those cheap ines that wear out way quick. Sorry.
>>581422 also granted. But the weight of the objects you can lift is directly related to how smart you are. I wish your two brain cells good luck.
I wish >>581422 would forgive me. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.
| >>581434
Granted, but you inherit one of her two degenerate brain cells.
I wish for spare brain cells please...
| (Didn't realize someone posted at the same time...)
| Granted, but they are from a cat (it's ok cause she is a smart cat and she doesn't need so many brain cells anyway).
I wish I had some basic grammar knowledge in english.
| Granted, you know proper English grammar but refuse to use it, tie-ping liek dis and talking like a retard
Wish my phone could run any software in existence
| Granted, now every software ever runs on your phone, that includes all viruses ever made
I wish the world to end
| Granted, but every runs poorly. It takes forever to load anything.
I wish the person who wishes after me will have a great day.
| Whoops. Uhh >>581568 Granted, but you are reborn on a world indistinguishable from the one that ended
| >>581569
Granted, but my night will be terrible.
I wish to become the Emperor of Mankind to advance humanity towards the stars.
| Granted but everyone dies burned for getting too close to the stars
I wish to be awesome
| Granted, but you would be the only one who think that way.
I wish BORGAR
| Granted, but I misunderstood and thought you meant booger. I made a hyper-intelligent booger, gave it a protective shell, and supplied it with a million dollars.
I wish I was immortal.
| Granted, but now you're the last living thing remaining in the universe
I wish for tasty and healthy potato chips
------
>>581687 good enough to me...
| Granted, but potatoes are nearing extinction. You are entrusted with the final bag of potato chips, and must deliver it to a team of scientists halfway across the globe so that they may begin the potato cloning process to save our chips.
I wish my dog would like the hats I buy for her.
| Granted, but she likes it so much that she eats them and you have to buy new ones constantly.
I wish I could be more charismatic with people.
| Granted, but you are now the idol of a demonic cult and people sacrifice babies and puppies and leave them on your doorstep. The police can't stop them and the police cheif is one of them. The cult members are everywhere and you can't hide. You gain life from every baby soul, but... Ya know...
I wish I had enough money to survive.
| Granted, but they don't adjust to inflation, so you won't have enough money next year.
I wish to be appreciated by people.
| Granted, but you don't deserve it and it makes you feel bad
I wish to have a super awesome mustache
| >>582041
Granted, but this is the only patch of hair you can have on your entire body.
I wish to have a yandere gf.
| Granted- unfortunately they accidentally kill you while they meant to murder the student next to you.
I wish I had cheese.
| Granted, but it's that stinky french cheese which tastes like shit.
I wish to have courage to use public toilets.
| Granted but you got sick for using a dirty subway restroom
I wish to be a retrofuturistic cybercop
| Granted, but you live in the equivalent of a shitty low budget robocop ripoff themed around foot long sandwiches.
I wish for a frying pan.
| Granted but it has no handle and is super dirty
I wish the current society to end
| Granted : all social behavior is now lost forever in human subjects, except for you.
I wish this thread would keep going.
| Ok, but people forget to write both an answer and a wish.
|
|
| I wish everyone would read Nate the snake
| >>582359 granted, everyone read it, and everyone thinks it sucks.
I wish I could report captchas which are not functional. Right now, my captcha is "gouda lark lyres" and I have that entered, but it isn't working. Gonna have to do another one.
>sway yen skew
| Granted, but you have to complete a captcha to report broken captchas. The captchas are illegible 90% of the time, making you question your humanity.
I wish for a non-corruptible wish
| >>582359 Isn't that the one with the lever that ends everything? That one does suck.
The wish you are told is one which cannot be corrupted, but would make your life worse if it worked normally (e.g. I wish to lose both arms).
I wish my waifu was a real girl!
| Granted, but you are teleported to the 2D world as a childhood friend with short hair.
I wish to pass today's job interview.
| >>582438 fuck you it's amazing and I love it!
Granted but everyone you love loses theirs
I wish I didn't have carpal tunnel
| Granted you, but have no arms anymore
I wish I wasn't so pathetic
| >>582658
Granted, but now, you are so cool that everyone else feels pathetic around you, which will prevent you from ever forming a legitimate human relationship ever again.
I wish I actually had a good idea for a wish.
| Granted, but only once. And it shall be a weak skrrt
I wish educational systems would be greatly improved to Focus more on ones individual skills and finding a compatible Job in the future instead of saying "Not my fucking Problem you dirty little pygmys"
>state ebola tacks
| >>582679 Granted, but you will be stuck in that same job for the rest of your life and some bitch named Karen will make every second of it a living hell.
I wish I could find my soulmate.
| Granted but it's a literal pig
I wish to be a hero
| >>583242 granted, but it will pursue you for the rest of your life. Everyone will think of you as "you from that old meme" and not "real you", so you won't be understood until you die.
I wish I could think positively.
| >>583272 "Hey, if I cut off my arms, it'll make my body lighter nnd it'll be easier to walk! How positive."
I wish I was really goodead making puns.
| good at*
| Granted but your pun-ishment is that you'll have a pun-y voice every time you make a pun
I wish I had the rest of the day off
| Granted, but she literally makes your life brighter. She glows.
I wish I felt more motivated
| >>583362 Granted. You are now more motivated to procrastinate.
I wish I had more than $3 to my name.
| Granted, now you have $3.5 bucks to your name.
I wish that i could teleport anywhere
| Granted, but every time you teleport, Einstein's soul would appear and beat the shit out of you.
I wish I didn't have to be alone on my birthday today.
| Granted, but its crippled insects. Insignificant ones.
I wish Songs that i Like would be rasiert to find
| >>583538 granted, but now you love every boring new pop song about heartbreak that comes out.
I wish my plants would stop dying.
| >>583555 Granted, but you can't come in as it's locked tight. Later, all of them died of dehydration.
I wish I had a pussy
| >>583568
Granted, but it's a cat attached to your groins like a siamese twin.
I wish I could stop time.
| >>583585
suddenly, time stops. you feel intense heat radiating from the sky. you look up, and a sun is about to collide with our planet.
on your left arm appears this message:
"no matter how much time it takes you, save us"
i wish i had friends
| Granted, but ur friends stop being ur friends and now ur much sadder.
I wish I hadn't been so lonely.
| >>583587 (that sounds really cool)
Granted, you don't feel anything. Never will loneliness, sadness, or anger bother you ever again, but you also will forget about happiness, joy, and love. Just an empty existence without any emotions.
I wish some SCOOTERS.
| >>583632
Granted, but it's always and abnormally violent acid rain.
I wish I could speak russian so that I could understand the Russian-only thread
| >>583676 Granted, but sadly, speaking Russian can't make you understand Russian. Like a mockingbird mocking sounds they can't comprehend.
I wish I am Elon Musk and I can headpat as many genetically modified catgirls as I can.
| Granted, but the number of catgirls you can headpat is 0.
I wish I had an ability to erase memories.
| granted, but you can only erase the memories of animals.
i wish i was in the kemono friends park
| >>583748
Granted, but now you're also in a hentai doujin of Kemono Friends.
I wish to be the ultimate edgelord.
| >>583771 Granted, but everyone actually likes you, so you never get the type of attention you're seeking by being such an edgelord.
I wish this captcha would actually fucking work.
>vodka feud fools (didn't work)
>note noisy barbs
| Granted, but now it's too easy, so spammer-chan comes back.
I wish I had the Nier Automata soundtrack on vinyl.
| Granted, but its scratched to shit and doesn't work.
I wish I had friends on Runescape to level with
| Wish granted, but you also aquire taste and realise that Runescape is cabbage so you don't enjoy it anymore. Also your new friends complains about immigrants and feminism every chance they get and blames all their shortcommings on them.
I wish I had anti-corruption powers.
| Granted, but you will never know how to use them.
I wish to sleep.
| Granted, but the bizarre dream you have tonight will give you insomnia for the rest of the week.
I wish anime was a socially acceptable hobby.
| Granted, but Anime gets Banned everywhere outside of Japan due to Copyright Problems with too many streaming Sites online
I wish the Person that writes the comment after the next one rants about a real Problem that society should solve together
| Granted, but since I am a racoon, I would complain about the lack of trash on the streets. My point of view is not shared much within a society, which would make me sad.
I wish I had more love from people.
| Granted, but you partially controll Gravity through playing Sigma in overwatch, without affecting real life at all.
I wish i could convince my Long time female friend of Dating me with actual success
| Granted, but soon after she mysteriously dies.
I wish that I could learn faster.
| >>584847 granted, but the only things you can learn are bad dad jokes.
I wiiiiiiissssshhhh for a star to wish upon.
| Granted, but it won't grant you any wishes because it is literally a celestial object without any consciousness. Also, it will fucking burn our planet away.
I wish I could cure cancer.
| Granted but everyone gets herpes now.
I wish I had a pet bat.
| >>584950
wish granted. you now have a bat, a glove, and a ball.
i wish i had the courage to end it.
| Granted, but informational technology won't end that easily even if you have enough courage.
I wish I could live by myself.
| Granted, but you live in your new landlord's supply closet.
I wish I had the courage to travel alone.
| Granted, but you can only travel during the night, which is somewhat dangerous.
I wish to wish a wish.
| Granted but the wish you wished to wish won't be granted
I wish for nothing
| >>585091
Granted, but you get elbowed while running in the streets and you get isekai'd.
I wish the API I am using actually followed its own spec.
| Granted, but you somehow inadvertently created Skynet.
I wish my dog was my pencil.
| Granted but you hear it's sad whine everytime you use it.
I wish North Korea finally reunited with South Korea.
| >>585160
Granted but they reunite under the reign of Kim Jong Un.
I wish there won't be any global warming catastrophe.
| Granted. There's now a global cooling catastrophe.
I wish I owned a tomato farm.
>inapt loin crate
| >>585211
Granted, but they mutate and develop a defense system that lets them move around and grow relentlessly to eliminate threats.
I wish to never cross the path of these tomatoes.
| Granted, but some weird potato farm comes into your neighborhood. Comes literally on foot.
I wish I had more money.
| Granted, all the money come in coins at night and you choke under their weight while you sleep.
>grim rears part
I wish I never ever needed money smh.
| I wish the world would hurry up and get cyberpunk-y
| >>585306 granted. you live in soviet russia now. we make sure you don't starve, yes?
>>585313 granted. Everyone's houses are decked out in neon. A rich CEO likes your sleeve, so he over-rides your cybernetic mind with a sex slave AI. Your conscience no longer exists.
I wish for another sleepover thread.
| >>585315 Today you are the lonely boy who got kicked out and doesn't get to join the sleepover. a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy
I wish for a real laptop. A thinkpad would be great.
| Granted, but the thinkpad wasn't as great as you thought it would be. You're overcome with disappointment every time you look at it.
I wish I was a few inches taller.
| Granted, but everyone got taller too.
I wish I had an ability to look into the future.
| Granted but you can no longer see the present.
I wish everyone is a closet pervert.
| Granted, but closets no longer exist.
I wish to listen to a new Crazy Frog song.
| >>585774 granted but it's actually just a meme. There is no song. It's just silence.
I wish i could do a backflip.
| Granted but now you can't walk anymore and have to move around by doing backflips
I wish I had a loving girlfriend that's 100% real and not an anime/game waifu
| Granted, but it's way too big and it's in your least favorite color.
I wish for snacks.
| Granted, but the snacks won't wish for you back.
I wish to know why this world exist.
This thread is permanently archived
| Asking the person below you a question is fun and all, but we need a change of pace. This is from ye ol forum days. The premis is this. You corrupt the person's wish above you, and then make your own wish. Example:
g/u/rl 1: I wish for a cool house.
g/u/rl 2: Granted, but it's not structually sound and falls in on you. I wish for a pony.
g/u/rl 3: Granted, but it has a bad temper and keeps putting hokes in your wall. I wish for a new game.
Etc. Etc. Hope you got that.