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I failed being socially fluent.
| ->To be fair I felt the conversation wasn't quite fluid, and thought I was just bothering him. I see other people exchanging words, laughing, making gestures. Pretty warm conversations. I just feel I can't fit in. I feel I'm not a very interesting person to talk at all. Geez I even struggle to have conversations with some of the closer classmates I have... In situations like that I just make an excuse and go sit in a silent corner of my college and spend time alone there.->
| Days ago I tried joining a discord server about a game I enjoy a lot. A pretty comfy group should admit, no more than 30 active people, everyone knows eachother, shouldn't be hard to fit it. Or so I thought. Same as before, I casually drop a message related to the conversations or to help someone... But I just can't feel like I'm part of the group. Everyone is friend with everyone, it's like a family. I can't fit at all. I'm just tired and sick of all of this.->
| Sometimes I wonder if I'd be more happy if I became a shut-in, not interacting with anyone anymore, I wouldn't have to deal with this anxiety of trying to fit in socially. I'm considering getting a job that I can do at home so I'm not a cripple to my family, so I don't have to deal with all of this. I just don't know anymore. Sorry for the long rant g/u/rls. This has been killing me for a while and I needed to take it out of my chest. (And sorry the red text on the second message)<
| Some of us just aren't wired for real time communication. You can try to ask a bunch of leading questions to get the other person to do most of the talking, but personally I don't enjoy that, it feels empty. I ended up becoming a shut-in and in my opinion it's not that enjoyable long term, but I dislike the social uneasiness more. I'm trying to get more 1on1 email contacts to get my social needs satisfied, maybe you can try that. In the end you'll have to find your own answer.
| Are you me? But no, my parents still didn't get mad at me for being a hermit, so you are almost me, or maybe I am almost you
| and that's just who you are OP... i used to worry about these things too. one day i understood that in this world, not a lot of things matter that much. people like to distract themselves with shiny things while people like us are out there trying to make sense of it all.
know that if there's one thing that matters to you, it's being happy, feeling good where you're at. that's it.
you are like me. we could talk from time to time if you feel like it.
don't worry, i have no friends.
| I was thinking we could make a discord server for people like us. I think it would help us feel less alone. Maybe it's a stupid idea, but idk I feel really depressed rn without anyone to talk to??
| >>559442 That app could be cool but it's mostly on Computer and I'm more of a phone guy recently since earlier years of hermit and sitting down a lot got me sick, so now I'm more on my phone and moving around my 4 walls than being stuck at a desk, discord would be more universal for people since it's also for android and ios. Either way if anyone made it, I would join (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
| >>c67192 I'd make it myself but.. I don't know how to use Discord too well, so I wouldn't like to be server owner. Maybe someone who knows Discord better could make it? The last thing similar to Discord I used was Skype and that was like 3 years ago. :/
| Op people only want to talk about themselves so just ask them how their day is or what classes they have. Just ask things like that
| >>559450
find me on uTox then.
FC30A68BC48BA98D1159F1404D0F9C0E688FB5210309DA978F896B856220720CD2C31BF23F84
| I'm the same, amigo
I gave up and now I enjoy the life of a hermit
| >>559520 what kind of connection is that though? Probably just feel more lonely. Maybe can be used for practice if that's the intent... start with eye contact...
| Getting a job in a nerdy customer service job helped. I found it easier to talk with people when your both forced to work stupid hours or have to work together.
Then you skip some of the first social hurdles. In my experience if you arnt comfortable with yourself people read it easy and it makes them disengage. Let other people talk with questions, then when you find something of interest you go for it then you hopefully develop a dynamic where it doesn't feel forced.
| I say this knowing that it wont always work out, some people don't click so just have to expose yourself to different people. And with discord small groups that are mostly dead love anyone who shows up. Kinda gotta fake it till you make it.
It's annoying but I just don't have any drive when I'm by my lonesome. Even though I cringe whenever I force myself into anxiety ridden scenarios.
If you are able I say keep trying.
| It sounds like you're a distant relative of me, or a carbon copy.
But I get it, I don't usually hang out in discord voice chats mainly because this small voice in my mind preventing me from talking to spme people.
People on the internet are more or less faceless & could be anyone, people irl you have a better chance of knowing.
I know it's a grey area more or less but sometimes it's about being comfortable with what you do but sometimes you have to step outside the comfort zone
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| I'm pretty much a shy and socially awkward person. I just enjoy more staying at home and watching movies/reading/drawing than going out and socializing. My family is telling me this behaviour is making me an hermit, and I can't blame them honestly. Today I went to college with a mind determined to break out of my shell and start socializing more (I usually don't talk a lot with classmates). I tried to strike a conversation with a classmate with similar interests, but ->