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Most retarded ways to fap?
| rubbing my vagoo onto the corner of a table
| lolis
| alone
| I once fapped outside while watching cars pass by. I was bored and had to kill some time.
| I hump my bed. I don't think it's retarded, I find it convenient because I'm too lazy to sit up and jack off, I can do it this way with minimal energy, while being comfy.
I call it leaning.
| i used to fuck my marsupilami plushe back in the day. then my mother, without seeing the hole i had cut between his legs, gave it to my 2 year old nephew as a bday present.
I still have nightmares about it.
| Read the short story 'Guts' by Chuck Palahniuk (author of fight club).
| Flicking the bean while looking at a picture of Trump = maximum retard, maximum depravity
| With your left hand
| An article recommend dipping your balls in ice water while jerking off, not sure if it was really with it
| Cum while you pee. I love doing that
| Like hear me out for a bit, masturbating with the sexual organ... another person! Right? Sounds so fucking crazy
| >>381114
You can't as a man because your urethra will close of the connection to your piss sag and will only allow your semen sag to empty itself.
| I don't like using my hand. I fold my fuzzy blanket into a make-shift onahole.
| i use coconuts
| i put my member in a plastic bag, filled it with shampoo and went to bed. the pleasurable feeling of rubbing and a wet dream combined to make for a perfect orgasm... except there was a layer of hardened shampoo on my meat rod for the next 2 months and it didn't feel good at all
| >>381945
Schampoo is bad for your sensitive parts. Use conditioner instead if you must. Bettet yet just buy some lube.
| minced meat
| During a good muscle-up exercise.
Get real high and fap when contracting everything remotely close to your thighs' inbetween.
| >>380811 yo, for real, if I pee too soon after jacking it, my dick start burning for like 10 minutes. Not violently bad, but I gotta schedule my faps around my bathroom activity [sad life]
| >>379273 same, but in the woods. I guess it was the taboo/thrill of being caught or some shit? not like a flasher or anything like that, but idk... hormones are weird...
| >>382092 you need to ease off the masturbation a little. Trust me, the scarring will add up in time.
| >>382179 lil bit of>>382216
and a lil bit of the noise factor Skin against skin? silent. Lotion? Neighborhood be asking questions
| I tried using lube, it's really not fun for me. Too messy, too loud, too slippery. Eh. Never had any problems tho
| >>382264
I at least make sure my house is shut on all sides and reduce the risk of passers-by by fapping when everyone around has no reason to get out of their hole or is working.
| >>382092 >>382176 I was talking about the scarring inside your uthera that hurts when you pee. If this starts to happen you need a break or at least be gentle for a while.
| who needs lube when you have your saliva
| sont fap at all
| >>382323 apparently I'm retarded cus I never thought about the scarring... makes sense though. I should probably let my dick take some vacation days.
| >>379283 I do this too, but my problem is that I can't fap 'normally'. I once tried, but it was too dry, then I started spitting on my dick because I had no lube and the sink was too far away, and then my arm started t feel sore...
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| Tell me 'bout your sad experience