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I don't know what to do and how to deal with it.
| She was also such a slob and the house was also always a mess. She would never clean and pretty much tried to get us to do everything around the house. It was practically an episode of hoarders burried alive but,maybe about half way between how bad the houses in that show were and a normal clean house. I could never invite people over nor could I ever go to people's houses since I could not get a ride back home.
| That and it always seemed like she would take out her frustrations out on us and just scream whenever she got frustrated or angry and just scream at me. It just made it so hard to connect to people and I felt so alone for so long. It also never helped that she fed us garbage so we could become fat just like her. It just came down like a ton of bricks when she said I was antisocial just like her. I am just so alone because of her and I can hardly connect to anyone and it just hurts.
| I am just trying to figure a way to tell her how this shit is still fucking me up because she wants to know why I am not talking to her and just avoiding her in general. I want to move out but, that's not going to happen for a while.
| Feel free to give me advice or dump your hot emotional non sensical longposts here.
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| Don't know how to phrase this but,whilst I was growing up especially in my early years my mom would scream at me and my siblings to shut the fuck up only when would make enough noise to wake her up. That and when she would get home she would always give us some food and just go straight to bed. I was also just so alone throughout most of my childhood because my mom would hardly ever take us out anywhere probably because she was so fat and was anxious about her weight.