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Puns and riddles
| I II Ii I_
| Failures are punished. Successes must go free. What crime am I?
| what do you call a deer with no eyes?
| i have no ideer! :D
| These are all awful.
| oh yeah, why was six afraid of seven???
| because seven is a registrated six offender :3c
| I hope you all stub your pinky toes on a table.
| Did you hear about the psychic midget hiding from the law? Yeah, he's a small medium at large.
| how do you know when you've drowned in milk?
when it's past your eyes
| I entered 10 puns into a joke contest once to see if I'd win, but no pun in ten did.
| You're outside the gates to heaven and hell. Both gates are indistinguishable. There, you find two identical people. One will always tell the truth, the other will always tell a lie.
You get to ask only one of them any question. Your goal is to get to the gate of your choice.
The catch? You don't know which of the two people you are asking.
What is the only question that will lead you 100% of the time to the gate of your choice?
| >>303375 everyone knows that one. The answer is "what door would the other guy tell me leads to heaven?" That tells you what not to pick
| A couple is walking in Red square. The man says it's raining, the woman says it's snowing. They after to ask the Soviet officer. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?" "It is raining." The man turns to his wife and says "see? Rudolph the red knows rain dear."
I'll see myself out.
| They agree*
| A man was listening to the radio. He turns it off and goes upstairs. He turns on the light and he goes back downstairs and kills himself. Why?
| Frank sings and Walt Disney. I'll explain later
| >>303375
Go to one of the angels, hold up two fingers, and ask "how many fingers am I holding up?"
Why is that any worse than a solution which supposes the angels know exactly what's going on, even when they look just like each other?
| >>304615 you can only ask one question if you wasted it on that you wouldn't know which door to go through
| >>305850
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh big fuggin deal when the identical liar is called "devil" and the identical truth guy is called "angel" fuggin relevant difference that has no effect on anything the posted version isn't the only one around I will not argue ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
| What goes up and down but never moves?
Answer: stairs
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| What body part do you get when you mix arsenic and sulphur?
Give me yours