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I want to kill myself
| I have no father, and even if I did, he was an abusive prick who would hit my mother and sell our stuff to keep playing slots and go to clubs and shit. I'm a negative mess and everyone gets tired of me, everyone gets hurt because of me, I'm tired of all the words of disapproval, all the insults, all of the bullying I had to go through as a kid and in an abusive household, I've worked before to no avail, and I'm tired of working to be underpaid, I'm tired of not being any help (2/?)
| All my relationships have been trainwrecks. Out of eight people, five have hurt me deeply, the other three... it was all my fault. I had met a girl, beautiful, intelligent, talented, loving and caring. Someone who would fight for their ideals. And I fucked everything up. I couldn't get a grip of myself. I relied too much on her. She won't love me anymore, and tonight after talking to her she told me she needed time and instead I kept on going, unable to accept, and I caused (3/?
| ...her an anxiety attack. I've hurt the most important person in my life. I've hurt my loved one and at the same time my best friend. Now she feels lonely and betrayed, she won't trust me anymore, and rightfully so. I wanted to do things differently. I don't know why I keep hurting everyone around me. All my friends... I keep them at bay because I'm scared of people getting close to me and being hurt by me. All my life living in the edge of poverty has left me unsatisfied with(4/?)
| ...my life and my work. I just can't get anything straight. I really want to kill myself. I'm planning on doing so, I don't know when. I don't know how. But I'm done.
| OP, I know this sounds like a cliche, but suicide is NOT the answer. Think about how your friend would feel, knowing that her reaction caused a friend to do something so horrible - Think about how much more stress - how much more sad your mother and sister would feel if they lost you. Things would get worse if you did anything terrible to yourself.
I think you should talk to your friend - tell her how stressed your family life has made you, and how deeply sorry you feel.
| I'm sure she'll understand - and remember, time doesn't mean a guaranteed end.
I know we're strangers, but I still care about you, OP. I believe you'll make it through this. Just don't commit suicide. Suicide does nothing to help - it'll only make the situation worse, if not for yourself, then for the well-being of others.
| g/u/rl... thank you. But I've been hurting people my entire life. I can't cope. Even if I didn't commit suicide, even if I kept going... I need money to live. My family needs money to live. I can't believe in myself anymore. When I read your post I broke down crying, I'm truly grateful people like you exist, that you're out there. Maybe you can make a difference. Thank you. For a minute you made me reconsider
| What the fuck you had 8 relationships and you're complaining?
| >>294330
I can assure you that the people you feel as if you've hurt don't feel as bad about it as you do. On top of that, the fact that you feel so much remorse and sympathy proves that you've a legitimately good, selfless person.
Also, OP, when it comes to money - suicide most definitely won't help. Funerals are incredibly expensive and life insurance often doesn't grant payouts for suicide.
If you want to be cold and pragmatic about this, in economic terms, the best course of
| >>294345
action would be to get a job, or several, and just immerse yourself in work, even if it's for a low wage. Through that, you'd be able to help out the economic status of your family, and yourself. Besides, I'm sure you'll find plenty of lovely co-workers who you'll have a positive impact on.
OP, suicide is a final act. I implore you to explore every other available option before you do anything drastic and regrettable. After all, things will, eventually, turn around.
| >>294350
So please, from one g/u/rl to another, don't commit suicide - your life is worth it. Just be strong - be brave. I know you can do it.
If you ever feel the urge, I'd ask you to at least call 1-800-273-8255.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope things turn around and get better in your life.
| First of all, please go see a psychiatrist. You seem to have depression and need to find a way to deal with it. You "hurting" people may just be an overly anxious deception because of your depression. It's really not your fault adapting bad behaviour when you grew up with all that negativity. But there is only one good thing about shitty circumstances: that you will feel better after the whole mess. That there's the possibility of a better peaceful life and getting over bad times.
| Friend, you should at least die with style - give life all you' ve got one last time
Watch where it takes you.
| Do it tbh. Just make sure you choose a way that won't leave you even more fucked.
| K
| You'll be fine if you had so much gfs. I have only been rejected so far. That's depression. Death is a cowards way out. You will regret it after all.
| pls don't, like >>e46baf said, about economically supporting yourself & your family, seems to be the best course of action; if you're going to throw your life away, you might as well throw it into work, which could greatly help the ones that your love, and yourself. also pls don't listen to the ppl that just say "kys" they really don't understand the weight behind suicide. it's really a ton of pain & pressure put on everyone around you, like jill felt in the game when her gf did it
| also, i'd recommend some music to help. here are some pieces that got me through a really tough breakup, maybe they'll help you too
melancholie - poulenc
kitto koi - toshifumi hinata
pavane for a dead princess - ravel
they're all very comforting pieces, and i wish you well. don't die on us! we care bout u <3
| I kind of envy you have so many girlfriends lol.
Suicide isn't going to help your family or yourself, it will hurt people around you even more. Just stay alive and find a job, full time or part time, then work your way up and eventually find another job with better pay and benefits.
As of your presence hurting people around you, don't worry too much, I am sure it's not as bad as you think it is.
Live proud and fight hard. Suicide is for cowards.
| You know that nobody in here is going to truly help you.The only thing we can do is give you some fake hope to grasp on so you can keep up with your struggles.Never commit suicide out of despair thats my rule.One of the things you can do is gain some confidence and some footing to go out and find a job.A job not with good paying but with people inside that you can trust ,communicate help and get helped from and be friend to.If you are young enough then you have a lot of time.
| And remember stay to your morals and never give up hope.
| I have a cure for your condition: bullet, apply to the forehead
| congratulations >>2ddddb, you're an asshole.
| >>294340 >>294540 >>294565 >>295872 Ignore these people, they're bellends each and every one of them.
People have to save themselves. Do your best to get a job, do your best to make your life better, don't mind anything or anyone else.
You worry so much about how others feel that I can only believe that you care much for others. You said that three of your relationships were your fault. Why not make it a goal to say sorry? Maybe it will give you some peace of mind?
Good luck
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| I don't deserve to live. All I do is harm everyone around me. I'm unemployed and looking for a job because my family is in deep shit. My mom's been very abusive last couple months, I understand why, she's stressed with all the bills she has to pay, she's stressed because my sister's pregnant and we don't have money to feed another mouth, she's been stressed because I'm worthless, useless and can't get shit done for the life of me. I can't go on like this. I can't go on at all (1/?)