danger/u/
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So like when do you give up on a girl?

| I've been waiting for this girl I'm into for like 5 years cuz I fucking love her so much. She loves me back she says but she's got shit she needs to work through. Still lives with her parents/unemployed. She's got like legit crippling anxiety so u know it's fair but still. I feel like I'm letting potential happy relationships pass me by waiting so long. What do?


| For something like this, you can't give a solid answer. At least, if her anxiety is actually crippling. There is a big difference between not wanting to work, and "I will literally break down at least once a day". If she's just generally scared of leaving her comfort zone, she's not trying hard enough for the unconditional love she would need. If it is serious, though, it comes down to you. If you truely love her, which coming here and asking random people if you should dump (cont)


| her is kind of questionable, then you can stay with her. But think about it. If she can't work without breaking down, you will need to provide for two people by yourself, at least until you can get her professional help if you decide to go that route. If you're not willing to take her, knowing that she will only be a burdon, you just don't have that unconditional love. Don't mean to get deep, but ask yourself if you love her enough to take care of her.


| That's like the problem, I can't take care of her no matter how much I want to. I just don't make the money. I'm broke constantly with just me, so I have to wait for her possibly forever or get a better job. I'm trying but I'm not done with my degree yet. She's working with her therapist but i dunno that she'll ever get past her anxiety. I've tried to help her personally to get her license but she always says it's too big of a step even when all I'm asking for is...


| Her to say that she'll try tommorow, with the knowledge I don't even want her to try tommorow, I just want her to have the confidence to SAY that she'll try. I dunno. I'm being selfish but I'm just kinda tired.


| Well that's the trade-off. If you're working on a degree for a better job, and feel that you really can't live without her, then it's just going to take that time, and there's not much you can do. If you feel you might be happier loving someone else, you probably would be. If you don't have an immense amount of love for her, you're going to get tired of it even after you have her and can provide. Relationships with people with crippling disabilities are very hard. (Cont)


| They have to mean more than the world to you or you'll always have the idea that you could've had someone better. If she's not willing to say she's going to try tomorrow then you have to consider she might not be trying her best. I'd say you have to let her know that you're considering leaving her if she can't meet you halfway. Explain that you're doing everything you can and she has to as well if she wants to stay together. Not a relationship expert though.


|


| This is some complex situation all right. Don't know what to say to someone in love like OP, but a 5 year long anxiety problem for her and still no trace of things getting better... Not good. Not good at all.


| If a girl really likes you nothing will stop her from turnig it into a relationship
The "i need time" and "i dont think im ready for a new relationship" usually mean that shes just not into you, even if she has all reasons to be, and shes to insecure to tell you
Ofc this is not always the case, if you feel happy waiting on a girl, you should do it, i mean, whatever feels right.


| Im a girl btw, and when i see that the guy that doesent seem as interested as i am i usually give up pretty quickly.. wanna spare myself the pain of being rejected over and over again :(


| It's a tough situation. However, if you truly are committed to her, and she positively does reciprocate your feelings for her, you're going to have to show her that you're going to be able to provide, protect, and support her at least just as well as her parents, which is a massive undertaking for one person who doesn't have a degree. It's likely going to take years, and you're going to be breaking your back constantly, and amidst all that you're going to have to be there--


| -- emotionally for her. She's likely going to be staying at home, feeling sorry for herself, wondering where you are in her time of mental and emotional turmoil, while you're spending a better part of your days making the money to financially support her. It isn't a good situation, especially these days where your efforts will not be appreciated, but will it be worth it to be able to call her your SO?


| I think the time to give up on a girl is found by just following your moral compass. As soon as you feel unappreciated or underappreciated you need to move on to a social circle (romantic or otherwise) that empowers you with a strong sense of self value.


| OP don't put yourself through this
I did and it was awful

Total number of posts: 15, last modified on: Sat Jan 1 00:00:00 1525706146

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