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How do I stop feeling worthless all the damn time?
| Therapy.
| And the worst thing? The worst thing (well, one of them, anyways) is that I can not change. Sometimes I fear that I even subconciously refuse to change, out of stupid conservatism or legitimate fear of change or just secretly hating myself enough to keep doing all this to myself. I just keep pushing people dear to me away and digging this hole even deeper. I'm not sure I want to live like this anymore. I don't want to die, I still have some dreams and ambitions, actually...
| ...even though I'll never be able to see them through. But death just seems to be so much easier and calmer than this constant stress I have as a sorry excuse for life.
| >>266514
Here's the catch-22. I don't have enough money for therapy usually, and now that I'm working to get more money I don't have enough time for therapy. Nor do I have anyone close to me that I could burden with all this crap. Not that anyone actually cares anyway. Why would any normal fully functional human being want to put up with someone worthless like me?
| Well, maybe not catch-22 but just a catch. But whatever.
| Kinda funny how no one gives a damn about this thread as well haha.
| No way to answer this. Normal people say the same thing every time: "you gotta value yourself", "do workout" and stuff. It's normal for them so they don't realize how difficult it is for people like us to start it and to keep doing it.
| >>266512
do something else than what your are doing now, clearly what you are doing is what is making you feel this way. and my guess is dont expect anything
| >>266520
also dont think that you need to ''unburden'' i mean you dont need to take a huge load of shit, reality is what it is.
i dont know get into meditation, you might know new people out there, literally any choice you make creates a new world, you just have to shed your current way of living
| >>268780
Well, maybe, but people already have a shitton of their own problems, who would want mine as well?
I was trying to get into meditation for quite a while, actually. But, I suppose my mind is just way too restless. Myriads of thoughts constantly change each other out without stopping.
Not like I can just 'shed my current way of living'. It's something I've been getting used to for ages, kinda hard to get rid of it now.
| >>267853
So I am now an ass for just making an observation? It's not like I was wrong or anything lol
| >>266512
An advice from someone who's been on that island and fled: the only solution is when you find something that makes you feel worthful. Whatever it is. Unfortunately, it might be hard - but it does work. Even if you still suck at things, being confident in your skills and what you are doing (like "I'm not the best, but I will be) is good enough.
Second - more action,less thinking about it. You posted 4 messages about yourself before anyone replied.
| Get into the habit of taking care of yourself phyaically. Not working out for now, but taking regular showers, buying new clothes when your old ones wear out, regular oral care (at least brushing), and cleaning up after yourself. This eliminates vectors of low self-esteem, and allows you to figure out where exactly these feelings are coming from. If it's socially, then try to make more of an effort to be a little more extroverted, that way you can justify to yourself that-- count.
| -- you are at least making an effort at socializing. It isn't about seeking validation from others as much as it is validating to yourself that you are contributing somehow to your community, and you deserve to occupy your space as everyone else appears to do. Humans are social animals, whether we like it or not, and so we've got to deal with that as best we can.
| I know exactly how you feel OP. I'll probably visit a therapist in a few months and hopefully it will fix my fuckup of a life.
| Black ID, wow, that's so cool.
| >>269789
Yeah, I haven't been very successful at finding something that makes me worthy of anything good so far. And building confidence is borderline impossible with all the degrading self-deprecating stuff my mind is constantly speewing at me. And I can't get away from all the thoughts. Sometimes I just sit down and stare at the wall because my brain is too occupied with thinking about my past regrets, present worries and future uncertainties to do anything else.
| >>269878
Yeah, I've been doing that for a while now. Except I still often forget to brush my teeth and might skip shower for a day or two (especially if I don't go outside) and then proceed to berate myself further for that. Trying to act extroverted is really draining and usually just provides more long-term stress since I often remember all the awkward situations (even if it's something minor or even if I'm the only one who finds it awkward).
| Hey OP, i'm kinda your same situation right now, probably not as much as you are, but i know how you feel.
I know it won't help, but i just wanted to say that you have to be strong and keep going. Life can change with just 1 choice, which can led to literally anything.
Like >>ae3ea8 said, try caring more about yourself, it helps a lot.
I believe in you!
| A good small first step is appreciating the little things in life. Simple things like having a shower or drinking tea or coffee. Take some time to really focus on those simple things and enjoy them. It's not life changing but I find that it helps alot.
| >>270632
Yeah. Yeah, I doubt I'll ever have enough strength and I suppose resolve to NOT keep going. However miserable it might actually be.
>>270638
I suppose you're right. Recently I've started to really appreciate showers after I was unable to take one for about a week. And maybe starting with the small stuff I could later learn to appreciate even myself and what I do more. Plus, drawing out more enjoyment wherever possible would also be pretty useful since I don't have enough
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| It's seriously becoming just excruciating at this point. I find it very hard to do anything while my mind constantly barrages me with thoughts about all my fuckups and about me not being worthy of anything in this life. Whatever I do just never works. Actually, I can't even do it long enough to make it work most of the time. And I can't even socialize like a normal person, I just get anxious and quiet. I'm a disappointment to myself, my parents and society as a whole.