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A girl asked me to be her dance partner at the school ball
| She wants to know you, maybe she likes you or want s to be friend. This is a great opportunity to get to know her
| I think dancing is a waste of time.
| >She wants to know you
Yeah, but the thing is, that I doubt it! I'm one of these people, that others make fun of behind their back and I embarrassed myself a few times in class, I'm basically the typical looser, that sits at home all day! I don't even look good
| get a grip you schlub. of course people are gonna make fun of you with that attitude. so long as you're not a total freak, just do what comes natural. a little self confidence goes a long way, g/u/rl.
| It's not that I'm showing that attitude to other people, I'm actually pretty optimistic, but im a situation like this, I don't wanna think to unrealistic
I'm not a depressed guy, that hates himself, I actually really like myself despite my weaknesses, but I know that I'm not mentally strong an embarassing situations could break me really easily
Also since we are both finishing school, we will most likely go different paths, which would make things more complicated
I'll wait for now
| May be a bit egoistic of me to not do anything, but I guess that's how I am
| What's "wait for now" mean? If you mean "don't go to the dance" please don't wait for now.
Look at it this way - either she really does want to go with you, or (unlikely) you're right about you being her second choice.
If it's the first situation, than 1. standing her up would be really shitty; 2. you should go anyway and get to know her and have a good time; and 3. it's totally fine if you two won't end up in a long term relationship and go different ways. Would it be better to never try?
| If it's the second situation, then 1. she still obviously thinks you're just fine, and 2. low stakes for you to just have some fun at the dance and practice this kind of thing.
If you go, even in the worst case what will happen? You'll feel shitty about it. The worst probably won't happen. OK, what if you don't go? If you blow her off because you were too underconfident you'll feel shitty about it *forever*, she probably will to. And I would know. Please don't do that.
| She wouldn't approach you if she wasn't fine with how you are IRL. You say you're not unrealistic, but about this you are being. If you can interact positively with people in general you can go on a date, and it's only these kind of worries that would keep you from. That girl put herself out there, you can do the same - next time you see her, or by phone if it's easier, work out a plan for when you'll meet, etc... you'll have a specific topic, which will help any initial weirdness.
| Ye, just go to the event and have fun. She did take the first step to ask you about it. You dont blow it of taking the second one or we will all lynch you till you beg crying for forgiveness.
Look at it as just another party. Dont think of what comes next or whatever long relationship is hiding there. Do not build up expectations, take things as they come. If something develops, better still for both. If not, that is what normal is.
And dont dare forget to thank her at the end.
| >>234075 i really doubt that she invited you just to make fun of you, this isn’t a movie, have a little more confidence in yourself,
| Be mentally prepared to be set up, but since this likely won't happen enjoy the day
| I never said, that I'm not going to the dance, I'm just not going to approach her in any way until then
| Also, I don't expect her to make fun of me, but I just think that I was kind of the last choice amd that it's nothing serious
| I would've gone to the ball either way, since it looks dumb to not show up there
| And it would be an asshole move of me to not show up after agreeing to dance with her
| Op you're thinking too much. If she's chill about not approaching you before the ball, then you can stay chill too. I'm assuming you two know each other enough that you'll recognize each other by then.
| Please, keep us informed! I want to know how this will develop.
I really hope you'll have fun with her OP, believe in yourself.
| According to wikipedia, pair dancing is a form of sexual interaction.
| Yeah, I'll keep you informed, but the ball is only in a few month and I gotta pass my final exams until then
| We are not in hurry
| We'll wait~
| Actually, I am worried more about the exams and my general future than about the girl
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| I barely talked with her before and it felt quite strange! I answered with "yes" and we havent talked after that anymore either
I should also mention, that I'm quite a loser and one of the least smart people in my class and the condition for the ball is, that you have to dance with someone from your class, so I was thinking that everyone else maybe already had a partner and thats why she choose me
But of her to approach me like that, still felt strange
What do you think about that?