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Dissatisfaction with existence
| Get your shoes and start walking off, ditch your current life my dude.
| Take a good walk, breath some fresh air and see some sights anon
| I understand this completely. I feel as though the only way I could be satisfied is if I made as much progress as I could have made if I were to know what I wanted to be from birth. But since I didn't, and I can never get that time back, I never will. It seems silly, but I feel like everything I do that's productive is just playing catch up with a hypothetical me that could never be, and from that my frustration with life stems.
| For me, it doesn't matter if I started a million years ago, nothing is good enough nor will anything ever be. The only satisfaction I see is in death. I'm afraid ending my existence is the only way to not feel this way. Everything that feels good is only temporary, and I mean good for maybe a week, and then back to ennui. I felt this way before, the only thing that changed was being distracted by being deployed to the middle East, there was a false sense of purpose and duty there.
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| It seems to me no matter what I can accomplish, no matter how much I learn, and no matter how much I am cared for there is no satisfaction in my existence. Nothing is ever good enough. Days have started bleeding together, life is passing by and I feel like I am gaining nothing. It's pointless to continue just so I can perpetuate this feeling. Life shouldn't be a cycle where you repeat a process every day to the point where you dont know where in time you are. So I guess this is it.