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tell me a joke
| What's the math of feminists?
Triggernometry
| My social life
| OP
| Everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian, well no one's laughing now.
| My will to live
| a joke
| so i’ve been talking to this cute 14 year old and now she’s telling me she’s an undercover cop.
how fucking cool is that for someone her age?
| What the deal with homeless people? Just get a house
| Knock knock
| There was a blackout last night. Don't worry, I shot him.
| how do you get a nigger down from a tree? you cut the rope
| Oh excuse me, I thought this was the jokes thread, not the egregious and hateful racism thread.
| Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be words that offend a feminist
| I once locked up 16 niggers in Burger King.
Raped them all.
| What's the difference between black penguins and white penguins?
White penguins are walking towards you
Black penguins are walking away
| We complain about global warming and having to save the fossil resources, but are still building and drinving huge cars which need a large fuel intake.
| Communism
| a joke
| capitalism
| My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex
Just this morning she asked me "Is that the best you can do?"
| What do you call a white man marrying the woman of his dreams?
Incest.
| Why do jewish men get circumcised? A. Because Jewish women won't touch anything thats not 25% off
| Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.
| Hat an American said to a Mexican?
Where's my wall?
| If Daniel has 45 chocolate bars and eats 37 how many he has left?
Diabetes
| What's green and has wheels?
| Grass, I lied about the wheels
| Oh, another one of my favorite jokes: what's red and has two legs?
| Half a cat
| What was Steve Jobs' favorite movie?
Kill Bill
| If jack was stuck on a horse, would you help jack off a horse?
| Nvm, last one was dumb.
Has anyone said "my life" yet? I'd be really suprised
| “You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
| What does the leper say to the hooker?
Keep the tip.
| What has wheels and flies, but is not an aircraft?
A garbage truck
| My wife caught me having sex with my daughter. I don't know what disturbed her the most. The fact that I was fucking our daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus.
| I saw a black man riding a bicycle so I went to check and see if it was mine, but when I got to the garage it was still there, begging for food.
| War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
| Who has the highest Kill Death Ratio?
Hitler!
| Fun fact: Chicken is eaten with a wrapper, but you can leave the wrapper on a cock.
| Welp time to look like a freakin weirdo who eats chicken packaging
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