i'm feeling incredibly lonely again, the dark kind of lonely
| context i realized that i spent the last 10 years friendless loveless and unhugged, nobody knows me, nobody loves me, and this one hurts, no one walked the path of life with me hand in hand for more than like 2 months. by that i mean nobody saw me grow up or go through these little daydream episodes. nobody was there to know me on my misadventures, my triumphs, my pains etc etc. i have wasted all my youth and i continue to do so. i'm pretty handsome also, for nothing. i rot
| i live in a world of strangers
| strangers are just friends you haven't gotten to know yet!
| i was thinking about that one evening where i will be looking down at my body and meditating upon the fact that my time on earth has been completed.
i tend to imagine a larger hospice room, empty, and there's the evening sun outside but the curtains are mostly closed, but the sun still filters through.
and i look at my old and withered shell, or what used to be, and think to myself, "damn. that was it."
| >bro's stuck in baden-wurtemberg
| that's not really what got me crying for like an hour so, it was more like realizing that after all the shit i've been through, all the things that were done to me, that i did to others and to myself, that i still feel strangely innocent. i wasn't supposed to go through all this.
like i'm a bitch, damnit, i act like an asshole to everyone but i'm not tough, i'm just another soul piloting a human flesh robot slash a material vehicle to experience a physical world.
| and yeah, i'm fucking lonely.
| idk why. i was actually heaving and inaudibly sobbing. fucking whimpering. that is not typical of me. at all. yesterday i got drunk as fuck and talked about self-annihilation on lainchan. something's fucking up with me.
| Huggle :<
Haven’t been on lainchan in a year or so- been addicted to phone posting and it don’t run so good on my phone
| >>1065944
same. some time in the near future i'll go postal or die by self-immolation and its getting realer every passing day.
| post discord ID
| I usually lurk on here since I'm alright with my own loneliness but idk who needs to hear this but I'll put it out there anyway. Life sometimes is what we make of it. If you're feeling lonely getting out of your comfy zone can help a bit. It's hard to not have connection with someone but maybe join a hobby group that meets up weekly. Be the one to approach people first, be casual, be curious and perhaps you'll find some semblance of what you're looking for.
| It can be in real life or online. Sometimes you just need one person who'll hear your voice/words and can reply back honestly. Lastly, to anyone thinking of self deleting, please don't. Think of all the g/u/rls that would be happy to meet or talk with you in the present or even the future. It hurts rn and it sucks but stay alive for those ppl, if staying alive for yourself is tough rn. Alright, I'll go back to lurking now xD Please take care yourself!
| Nigga has octoberfest in his country and still finds time to be miserable
| OP wants you to know that i'm reading all that's getting posted here, even your post dw
| Read more Bildungsroman
| >>1066022
one of my huge problems is i've lived such a sucky and dark life for so long now i really don't see why i should keep going
like logically speaking it doesn't make much sense to just hang out for 50 more years of this shit
perhaps i'm not understanding something.
| >>1066064
If you end it now, all that suckiness and darkness will be all your life ever was.
Now is the time to make the next 50 years different from everything thst has come before.
Were things in the past bad? Yes. But the things im the future can be better.
One step at a time, you can make the future for yourself better.
| It's incredibly easy to get friends, believe me
What's truly hard is maintaining them, keeping in touch, keeping up with their stupid things, etc.
Yet, you shouldn't despair OP, know this: all of us are still trying something. Trying to connect with others, to live, to love, etc.
You're not alone in this world.
| >>1066202
> It's incredibly easy to get friends, believe me
>What's truly hard is maintaining them, keeping in touch, keeping up with their stupid things, etc.
In other words, it's not easy to get friends???
| >>1066208 it's easy to get them, it's hard to not drift apart in life like most relationships do
Everyone is so busy, all the time, it's no wonder we're in this state
| real post
https://chaoticmira.gay
This thread is closed.
| can't we do some fucking meetup or whatever? southwest germany, anyone up? or just talk to me in this thread, i'm really not good right now