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Having a kid at 24
| 2
| Definitely 2.
| 1
| If you aren't certain you want a child, you are not ready to be a parent. Don't do it.
| So she had spent 15+ years without ever getting pregnant and now that she's old and time is ticking she wants a kid? And you're supposed to sacrifice your youth just for that?
| I'd do it if she's nice. Might be tough but you don't want regrets about what could have been years later.
It's a hard decision good luck ether way.
| Shiiiieeeeet
| >>1050621
Take pen and paper and write out positvies and negatives of both decisions, 2 sentences minimum for each, assign weights to each and tally up the score. And do NOT use the result to make the decision.
You will be able to look at the situation in its entirety this way.
The thing is any of these options may improve or ruin your life, what matters is how you view issues in both situations and if you will try to fix them.
And sleep on your decision for 1-2 nights.
| Maybe you can talk to someone who’s had a kid and is happy?
| For how long have you two been together?
| Hello, OP here on phone. We wrote on a paper our priorities during life. We both have the same top 1 priority but the other are different. I don’t even know if I want a kid and it’s her top 3 priority. I think I have to take an adult move on this one and just admit that we can’t make a family if one of us is not ready. Pretty hard decision, it’s been 3 years we are together and we went through a lot… I feel like this is a waste.
| You will never be ready for a kid. It is not something you can prepare for, just saying. Kids are painful but there is some joy as well, so it is not really a sacrifice, just a different kind of experience.
On the other hand, I know women who gave birth at 43, so I am curious why the urgency.
| not enough information is available to make a reasonable decision, but if your girlfriend figures she has the financials and career options to handle it, then i don't see why not
if she's asking without those lined up, well that's pretty retarded isn't it?
| op stop being a moron and pull out more informations.
do you truly dare on living by a coinflip from 2 options you came up on fly?
| Mating press her into oblivion.
| I wonder I'd having a child is her way of just getting you to leave her so she can be on her way with the guy she's cheating you with.
|
| >>1050621 honestly i don't know if you understand anatomy, but i little understand her.. tbh no one from board can tell your preferences, it's on you
| 11 years is a pretty big gap. Like, as someone approaching 30 I can't imagine dating anyone younger than 23, and if you've been with her 3 years you started dating at 21? To a 32 year old?
Not judging you for that, but it's worth noting your relationship might not work the same way as everybody else's. Like it makes sense she'd want kids by this point while you don't.
You might start wanting kids later, you're still plenty young! But can she wait that long?
| >>1050677
This. If she's financially well, having kids isn't gonna demand too much from you. (I'm assuming you're not the one getting pregnant, op). I know a few people who were parents at 24 or younger and they do alright. It's not as scary as you think.
But if you genuinely are uncomfortable with the whole idea and don't think you're gonna be a good parent, definitely something you should be honest with her about.
| tbh idk if i ever had real date usually i was one who maybe friendzoning it little somehow :c but usually i had people 1-3 years older than me and if i can be honest i saw this age best too.. but truth is 5+ seems big gap for me maybe, but i have no idea i have no experience it but i can imagine it can works.. oppositely i can't imagine being with someone who would being younger i feel etc. it's maybe about preferences and personalities? i can't judge it really just i think that
| OP really need think about what he want. It's life changing decision if he would decide to have kid or marriage already etc. but yes i know people who married in 18 etc. i wouldn't do this but also i can't tell i would be most loyal one honestly:/ but all people are different and all have other priorities in life.. some people prefer live alone and enjoying time ownself, some prefer share it, some are fanatic (in good way) to someone etc. and there can't be ultimate answer
| >>1050759 *hugs you*
There is an ultimate answer but it's up to op to figure out how much he cares about his life.
| > OP really need think about what he want.
Caveman detected
| Do it g/u/rl! Make a baby for your uncle Shinzo Abe! It was his dream!
| poor bastard just wanted us to have sex and have fun and what did society do to him? they built the whatchamacallit 9000 and blew his head straight off. incel world
| Schizo Ape wouldn't be proud of you op.
| Bro do 2 and come back later. You guys want different things out of your life, if you do 1 you're going to end up hating your life and your wife. Come back when you're ready to settle down.
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| My girlfriend is 35, and sadly she hasn't the time to wait for me to be older. I have to 2 choices:
1 - I have a kid at 24, still studying (apprenticeship so I earn salary) I sacrifice my freedom
2 - We break up even if we love each other, I lost the love of my life
Honestly this feels like a trap and I can't decide...