Post number #1036659, ID: 3e73ef
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I can tell that I'm going to relapse on self harm again soon I might just do it on my arms this time so I can get sent to a psych ward I mean its no responsibilities no one screaming and being disappointed in you just a bad tv, cards, board games and mentally ill friends that might be what I need fr
Post number #1036664, ID: 75ac29
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real asf
Post number #1036668, ID: e42550
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Our local psychiatric ward had a serial rapist on staff that repeatedly raped young women. The entire staff kept covering it up by bullying the victims on his behalf and it only ended because one of these young women taped the bullying and gave the tape to the media. She was the only one who had the strength to go to court and get him convicted. Our local hospital have a huge problem with systematic bullying of defenseless patients and it's disgusting.
Post number #1036671, ID: 75ac29
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>>1036668 lucky
Post number #1036672, ID: e42550
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Their open psychiatric care made the mistake of trying to bully me and I fought back with tooth and claw(well more like pen, wits and a tape recorder but whatev) and it's an uphill battle that I'll never stop fighting for as long as I live. Outside of work all my remaining energy goes towards the anti-bullying activism/support group that I run.
If only they knew how toxic I can be online lmao pls don't tell on me
Post number #1036674, ID: e42550
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>>1036659 Didn't mean to hijack your thread or anything but this is 89% of what I think about every day. That being said I don't think you should self harm just to run away from responsibilities or to hang out with people but I'm not judging you. Try to do what is best for you and only do this if you *sincerely* believe this will net you a positive outcome. Also your psych ward sounds kinda half-decent, no? The one we have is a joke.
Post number #1036676, ID: 4eb077
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nintendo direct 3.31.2025 mario's public execution 8:00 p.m. PT | 11 a.m. WIB
Post number #1036678, ID: 2abdf7
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>>1036676 >WIB ¡Indonesian alert!
Post number #1036683, ID: 4eb077
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>>1036678 you fool. you nincompoop. you absolute moron. you had your pattern recognition triggered by a mere timezone. now you suffer: *does NOT fuck your mouth*
Post number #1036684, ID: 3e73ef
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>>1036674 well what would you do if your father basically told you that you are a waste of space? What about if every time someone in the house looks at you they are visibly uncomfortable or disgusted. I don't really know why I'm treated this way. Maybe it's because im currently unemployed. It seems like in most peoples eyes your worth is decided by such things. That being said, I am pretty worthless. it could be that everyone will feel happier and more comfortable with me gone.
Post number #1036685, ID: 4eb077
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>I don't really know why I'm treated this way you post on this textboard. put 2 and 2 t ogether
Post number #1036686, ID: 3e73ef
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Also its not like I'm just laying around and not trying to do anything with my life. I'm just constantly being met with rejection. Maybe I can't see it but there must be something visibly wrong with me. or maybe I just give off a bad vibe. I think I just have to exist in other peoples lives as little as possible so no one feels bad because I don't want them to feel bad and I don't want to feel bad either. I just have to go somewhere
Post number #1036687, ID: 3e73ef
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>>1036685 you're right how could I be so stupid.
Post number #1036689, ID: e42550
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>>1036686 Parts of what you're talking about sounds like adhd tbh. Other than that, you do come off with a bad vibe sometimes. It's not like you're approachable with that negative mindset. I'm not judging you and it's understandable that you feel and act this way but unless you show that you're actively trying to improve yourself instead of running then people won't find you sympathetic. Sorry but it's true.
Post number #1036690, ID: 2abdf7
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You are not your family's reactions. That's on them and they're juvenile and wrong and while you can't control their actions what you can control is how you deal with them internally. CBT can help with that.
Post number #1036691, ID: e42550
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What's up with my stupid vpn alasudden
Post number #1036707, ID: 3e73ef
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Its okay I've decided I'll just be a part-time homeless person. Whenever anyone is awake I'll go outside and I'll just come back home when its like 1am and everyone is asleep. That way I'm not bothering anyone
Post number #1036718, ID: cfd3d2
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>>1036707 come on now, at least be the bigger person and give them a chance before you decide on things like this
Post number #1036727, ID: 68ad50
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They hate me bruh wdym
Post number #1036780, ID: 333959
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>>1036668 I got pretty lucky with the place i went to, everything was pretty alright. only real problem i had was with one of the other patients creeping on me, but i heard from a woman i made friends with that apparently theres shit like that going on at one of the local rehab centers where the admin guy will personally see all the female patients and get them to do stuff for him in exchange for cigarettes and shit.
Post number #1036790, ID: 1c31b2
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Living in the psych ward is my final backup plan if everything elle fail. You get cute nurses, mentally ill friends and free food and funny meds.
However I dont get how you get in there (i'm not that mental yet)
Post number #1036794, ID: 539a4f
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Its effecively a prison, even if it can sometimes be nicer than an actual prison since theres no retarded revenge dynamic going on like normal prisons. Sounds terrible to live in.
Post number #1036854, ID: 98ce16
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yeah they dont even want you
Post number #1036868, ID: 3e73ef
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true
Post number #1036891, ID: 2abdf7
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yeah true they don't even
Post number #1036921, ID: eb16ca
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>>1036668 That was really based of you to speak up about to us here. And really really based of her. >>1036659 U could come live with me if u want. I dunno. There MUST be another way for you to take a break! It makes me really upset when g/u/rls cut themselves :(
>>1036672 based based based based based!!!!!! go g/u/rl go!
"Try to do what is best for you and only do this if you *sincerely* believe this will net you a positive outcome" I'm writing this in my diary I like it.
Post number #1037026, ID: 16c265
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I think op should try sex
Post number #1037140, ID: eb16ca
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>>1036707 I tried this a lil with my family and I dunno it didn't really work. I couldn't focus or anything out of the house OR in the house. Also the foxes would come up to my tent in the yard and scream at me and it was really scary. Usually I do better for a day or so when they go on vacation but then it all goes into a slump. So I'm doing the ADHD treatment which has been OK, and I made some internet friends, who made me feel somewhat better and I got to be cute with,
Post number #1037141, ID: eb16ca
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and I started praying to my dad a lot, because praying used to make me feel better and stronger and like I'm doing something important, and I tried to boost my self esteem and believe in myself or intelligence in general but it didn't really work. So I pray to my dad cause he's real and makes me feel safe and has a sense of taking care of the world about him. But he wants better for me. I could never have a relationship or be cute or anything in front of him, he'd never hurt me
Post number #1037142, ID: eb16ca
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and he probably even wants me to have a happy relationship but he doesn't and we never talk about sexual topics at all. But he really wants me to be smart and responsible and I think part of that is never really living or feeling or being different. :( I dunno, he has a really strong sense of 'hahaha let's not do anything crazy' but I feel like part of it is because he really does care and doesn't want the world to go bad.
Post number #1037143, ID: eb16ca
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I kinda think he's right but I couldn't bare to live like he lives, never doing anything exciting and just getting passive-agressived at by his wife and failed and embarrassed by me and going to bed alone and getting up early every morning to work for our county government helping people. But I really love him. I wish I could marry him sigh :(
Post number #1037144, ID: eb16ca
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but I have this idea in my head that if you're going to marry someone, you should be willing to become each other, because you'll probably become more like each other and if not I think you don't really respect each other and like you'll split the roles up unevenly and be unhappy and struggle for power. -BUT- I heard though that in divorces a lot of the time the kids like their dad more because he's exciting and has fancy stuff and isn't exhausted and mad at them,
Post number #1037145, ID: eb16ca
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but that's only cause he isn't taking care of them and they don't appreciate their moms so I'm sorry mom. I wouldn't want to be you either. She just kinda laughs at me and looks down on me. I dunno I feel like with my dad I could be someone who really does something worthwhile and I'm not, and with my mom I'm just silly and wrong and to be pittied, so I like my dad more, but both do a lot for me.
Post number #1037146, ID: eb16ca
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Anyway those are the things I do instead of going to the library during the day, but they haven't worked that well. I wish I could give you a job. I'll do an application for you if you want!! um I dunno you could drop a burner email and your resume and stuff but maybe it would ask about your social security number and stuff. Maybe make a schedule you can keep where you're doing at least an application per day, even if it's just a little time devoted to it,
Post number #1037147, ID: eb16ca
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and away from distractions, and take the weekends to spend time with friends and rest and heal. I'm rooting for you!!!!! Oh and I tend to spend a lotta time on sites like this so if you can cut that kinda thing out during your work time it might help! I blocked this at school but I literally do anything else like pace or read random wikipedia articles than think about anything involved with class or my future. But I like you and I really don't want you to kill yourself.
Total number of posts: 35,
last modified on:
Sun Jan 1 00:00:00 1734916175
| I can tell that I'm going to relapse on self harm again soon I might just do it on my arms this time so I can get sent to a psych ward I mean its no responsibilities no one screaming and being disappointed in you just a bad tv, cards, board games and mentally ill friends that might be what I need fr