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Trauma response
| My wife has been through a lot too, and her biggest fear (as with a lot of victims, including me) is being like the people who hurt her and abusing others
Problem being that when something like that happens and I without control kinda freeze up and curl up, it hurts her a lot because to her it confirms those fears, and I hate that. I wish I wouldn't have that physical response. Even though she knows she hasn't done anything wrong I can tell it fucks with her, and it sucks
| I'm not really looking for advice as there isn't really much that can be done about it. I just hate that something I can't control hurts the people who are dearest to me. It's an awful feeling
| I think accidentally hurting and getting hurt is normal when it comes to these things. But the main thing that matters are the people worth getting hurt for.
At the very least, I can tell you really care about your partner and that your partner cares about you too. Stick together, you need each other. Maybe with time, it'll be possible to heal, so for now just keep trying to be there for each other.
Congrats on the marriage g/u/rl. Wishing you two all the best moving forward.
| lol
| >>1011610
Thank you g/u/rl <3
And, yeah, no, I'd never even consider leaving over it lmao. What you're saying is true, I know that. Just needed to get it out somewhere
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| So, I endured a lot of abuse for most of my life. Now I'm happily married and I've cut off everyone who refused to stop treating me like shit
Despite that + years and years of healing and working through it both in and outside of therapy, trauma isn't something that ever disappears
Sometimes even now I will misinterpret a sentence or action as aggressive towards me in normal conversation with someone I'm close to, and when that happens I have a very physical trauma response