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Any weird masturbation stories?
| not mine but a friend of a friend's. he was visiting his parents and super sleep deprived from the plane. he was in the tub and nutted so hard he fell asleep. they had to come fish him out an hour later.
| I once did it in the back of a car (8 seater) with my entire family in the front.
| when I was a kid I did it in the middle of the living room infront of my family, but with a blanket around me. Idk if they noticed but they didnt say anything
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Why repeat tho ?
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a doll once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Omg, doll fucker friend, why do you keep spamming?!
I was fingering myself after 3 weeks without masturbating or having an orgasm during sex, and without realising, i started to squirt so much, when i came, my bed was wet af t.t
-cbrlw
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a statue once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| So there was a period when I first learned what the scat fetish was where I thought I'd try it out, being the open-minded individual that I am. I planned out the deed for when everyone in my house was gone, ate a bunch some hours before, went up to the bathroom with an actual bath, and went to town.
Cue typical "out from work early" from parent.
So I threw on some baggy ass clothes, dowsed myself in febreze, and waddled down to the dumpster. Worst wank of my life.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a statue once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Not a story of mine but i heard that someone jerked off to reposting someone elses mastrubation story.
|
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a durian once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Once on the stairs of my dentist (8th floor) I went to 7th floor and starting paying attention to the frequency people used the stairs.
It was pretty rare, but the right amount to make me fap there.
I started fapping, and when I was near orgasming, I took a paper to fap(Kleenex, dunno what, worked fine), and then cummed.
It was good, but as I had to get rid of the paper, I made a ball with it, and put in the upper aperture of the last floor door(locked).
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a durian once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| Don't know if it counts, but I tried to fuck a negative ion once, but since it didn't have a hole to fuck, I tried to fuck the space between it's legs (it was more or less life sized). It didn't work out though, so I just went and jerked off instead.
| I heard that filling my anus with mashed bananas would give me an ass shattering orgasm, so I wanted to try that. I mashed them too much, though, and they didn't have the structure to let me push them in. Tomorrow, I will try using the turkey baster.
| I tried my little sister's bootleg Cinderella doll when I was home alone and took photos of it and had them in a CD-ROM. I was a stupid 12 year-old. I lost it and panicked about someone (be it relative or not in case it was thrown away still intact) finding it and seeing them photos which clearly had my face. It was perfect shitpost meme material.
It took me 7 years to find the CD.
I deleted the photos, formatted the CD, burned it with fire, broke it in pieces and threw it away.
| As a ceremony of peace of mind after those 7 years of paranoia were gone, I saved the folder structure in the CD-ROM on my pc, but without the files. The folder that stored such a structure was named "NEVER DO THIS AGAIN YOU RETARD".
| >>417317 yeah, there wasn't people going there too frequently, and every 50 s after a person leaving, lights shutted down.
It was nice, since I was alone, but had a bit of danger in someone passing nearby
| >>417332 (*fap, not fall). Okay, makes a little more sense, just didn't know what was so special. Maybe you have a stair fetish ;D
| >>417339 who the fuck wants to sit around for half an hour with an assful of frozen bananas? total mood killer
| >>417389 that depends on what shape you make them into... could be shaped like an assful of mushy bananas, so basically the same thing.
| >>417389 that's the joke. You know, like deleting system32, if you are gullible enough to fall into the "fill your anus with xxx" meme, then you are stupid enough to sit around with it.
| Do have*
| Actually with bananas unfrozen could be a nice experience, but since they're Acid it may not be a good option for your anus
| >>417627 I mean, stairs do present a lot of unique possibilities for sex and fantasy. The going up, the going down, the squareness blending to a smooth incline if you squint hard enough... basically limitless :D
| >>417772 we should be seeing Bowsette lounging on stairs any minute now. Actually, I DO want to see that haha
| >>417773
Huh. There's actually not a lot of porn that takes place in stairs. We need more stair porn!
| Ooooo, my captcha is "the ruin edged". I like the sound of that.
| I was 12 when this happened. My parents gave me a GBA SP and a Pokémon Emerald cartridge as a Christmas present. 3 days after Christmas, my female childhood friend told me to come to her place to trade Pokémon. So I went to her place hoping to that she'll trade her Articuno for my Blaziken. Upon knocking the door, I was greeted by her cute but scary elder sister who was 15 at the time and told me to wait. She said that my friend went to the hospital for her monthly Asthma checkup.
| So I went inside their house and sat on their comfy sofa at their living room while playing Pokémon Emerald. I was playing for about 21 minutes when I heard strange noises. I thought it must be a Nokia phone ringing and her sister hasn't picked up the call. "It's been ringing for 5 minutes what's up with her sister? It might be an important call!"
| I wish I have done.
| As I peeked at the door of her room, I saw her using a strange long object that vibrates. She's rubbing it inside her vagina back and forth.
| I wasn't aware of the purpose of that object until I stumbled into HentaiHaven. 1 year since that incident, I heard that She and her family are returning to Japan.
| >>418203 what about the asthma checkup, was your childhood friend ok? Did you ever trade her for that Articuno?? Don't leave us hanging, I was just getting into it, especially the asthma part. Hot!
| >>417762 https://www.foodsforbetterhealth.com/are-bananas-acidic-34235
>>340d66 man she could have abused you if you entered and talked to her a bit.
So close, my friend
| >>418468 PH6.5 so yes, technically they are acidic, basically the next closest thing to water. Your butt snot would protect you.
| Figured you that having an object and using it to try to enter your anus with it is a good thing
(Gotta make it hard to enter your boipussy, and if it enters, never thrust it deep, it's bad
| I had so much free time recently that I went on a 24 hour nonstop jackfest and lost about 2 pounds in sweat and semen. I thought I was gonna die.
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| In the middle of masturbating me mum walked in and I had to throw my favorite stuffed animal on my peepee to avoid suspicion. I call him Crusty Robert now.