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[Radio] Radio Wire 18.5
| "Alright alright I feel special, know why?" -N
"I'll guess yer' mama always told ya' you were a special boy" -X
"No-Shut up, just.. Shut up" -N
| "Hello and welcome everyone this is Radio Wire in the evening, believe it or not we are also 'Radio Wire in the morning'" -N
"No way" -X
"I'm as shocked as you are" -N
| "Now, first of all, to quote the great L.J: 'Don't call it comeback, I've been here for years'" -N
"Truly poetic, what do we got in schedule?" -X
"Open the lines, introduce your sister, do our sponsors, probably gonna open your sister right after the show" -N
"You're such a comedian, ever though about doing Radio?" -H
>Spoke the only non-artificial female voice of the transmission
| "Now I got 500 zennys down that say Neil's gonna bail before the end of the transmission" -X
"Whoa man 500 zennys jeez aren't you afraid of going broke? must've been weighting on your wallet" -N
| "Will one of you please--" -H
"--Oh I'll be *delighted* to" -N
>*A H E M*
.
. .
. . .
"So--" -H
"--TO-NIGHT! Your hosts are as always the most handsome, most talented, most humble Neil Michaels and Xii too-good-to-show-his-last-name-on-an-illegal-radio!" -N
"This was a mistake" -X
"Aside from us we got a little assistant today, someone who *thinks* she can replace me!" -N
| "Are you like.. Okay man?" -X
"Fan-tastic, now our lines are officially open! Make sure to call, make sure to donate, make sure to tell us why we're the best station out there!" -N
|
"...As always:
mark '555-XXXXXX' to talk with whatever the fuck that was
mark '545-XXXXXXX' to talk with some sense and chill, so call me Xii
mark '535-XXXXXX' to talk with our lovely Cali, aka computerized youth
mark '525-XXXXXX' just for today to talk with our free-lancin' assistant, Hope
Or '515-XXXXXX' if you'd rather talk business instead
We'll be waitin' yer' calls with excitement cause we got nothin' better to do!" -X
| >Call on line 535
| >California picks up line '535'
>"hello and welcome to Radio Wire! Probably the third time you hear our station's name so far so I'll say it's cause we're three times better than the other stations!"
| >>769322
>>A childish voice makes its way to you
"Hello? Wait! Why is your number saved in my contacts??"
>It's her again...
| >>769337
>Cali, an individual without lungs just happened to gasp as soon as she recognized the voice
>"Well look who's here again! Did you finally visit the dentist young lady?"
| >Call 545
| >>769455
"... I did"
>A long sigh followed by the sound of something rustling
"My teeth were perfect!! No problems with them! The dentist praised me for trying my best to brush them!"
>She says in a smug tone
"I told them it was expected of an adult!"
| >>769519
>Xii picks up line '545'
"Hello and welcome to Radio Wire, ya'd think I'd get bored of sayin' that everyday, well guess what, ah' do. Who am I havin' the pleasure to receive today into our lines?" -X
| >>769848
>"W-well congratulations!"
>Her disbelief was noticeable
>"Maybe you do make up for all the candy you're having! You are not lying to me though, are you?"
| >>769884
>You were hit with a heavy dose of Aussie accent as soon as you picked up the call.
>"Oi, cunts, shut up will ya? Dude's picking up. Now we can settle this bloody argument."
>The noises in the background slowly settle down. Another second goes by before the Aussie from before returns to address Xii.
"Yep, uh, just call me Sabre. Now, I have a question for you."
>Another pause.
"Roo or Panda?"
| >>769902
>"Then you really are a so well-behaved girl! Despite the threats and tantrums you've done before"
>Rather than sarcastic her comment came out with some sort of adoration, like one would have for a puppy, or a plushie
>"I think after all you do deserve some candy for doing so well at the dentist"
| >>770033
"..What the fuck is roo? Is this what everyone hears when ah' talk?"
>The last part was spoken mostly away from the mic
| >>770178
"Kangaroo, *obviously*. All you city boys haven't seen 'em before, I reckon."
>The Aussie replies.
"Them joeys hopping 'round, lookin' all cute with the little ones in a pouch, you know those?"
| >>770177
"Do I??"
>She seems happy to hear that.
"All people usually give me are beans! they throw them at me! Apparently it's because I'm an uh... on--? Uni? Umi?"
>She groans, unable to remember the term people usually reffer her by
| >>770190
"first of all: fuck you ah' know what a kangaroo is! Ah' didn't grow in the city but I also didn't grow where the world literally ends" -X
"easy there" -H
"Though I'd say them before Pandas, those should've been extinct like decades ago if it weren't for humans" -X
| >>770247
>“You.. Y-You mean an Oni? People throw beans at you cause you look like one? That doesn't sound too nice out of them.."
| >Call on 555
| >>770343
"See! You cunts have some sense after all!
>He shouts back, completely ignoring the last part.
| "Look at that, everyone but you is getting called, almost like if we didn't need help" -N
"Hey man that's really amazin' but I don't think I asked" -H
| >>770473
>Neil picks up line '555'
"Hello hello and welcome welcome, I'm out of touch and you're definetly out of options if you call here of all places" -N
"You're talking to big Neil at Radio Wire and I'm just crazy to hear your voice fellow caller" -N
| >>770481
"Damn right we do cause our country ain't upside down unlike yours!" -X
"Easy there"
>said 'R' this time, with a stern voice tone
"Ya' havin' some fight over which of the two would-well, win in a fight?" -X
| >>770578
"Hello? Yo### br##king#### I #an't he#r you... Th#re we go."
>The Static and fuzz of the voice tune out in an oscillating manner, as if it's tuned by hand...
"Big Neil! You're right, I'm out of options, all the other lines are taken! But I wanted to ask, what's up with you?"
| >>770579
"Damn straight. I'm telling ya, pandas ain't gonna do shit against them roos."
>The Aussie shouts back confidently. He continues talking, as if to taunt somebody.
"Bet they can't even get off their asses, probably too preoccupied knawing on bamboo to fight back."
| >>770590
"Well that's kind of a loaded question my dude, some say I have mommy issues" -N
"You do" -H
"Some say I'm kind of an asshole" -N
"You are" -H
>A small pause occurs
"..So you might wanna be a little more specific cause I sincerely don't even know where to start, wanna hear about my first time? " -N
| >>770685
"Ah' mean.. have ya' seen a panda attack? When those things ain't sleepin' they're kind of somethin' ya' might wanna stay the fuck away from, what are kangaroos gonna do? Jump over the killin' machine?" -X
| >>771054
"That would depends on where they're fighting and all that. But kangaroos are like, more likely to win in most places."
| >>771052
"I actually wanted to talk about how the cults are back at it, *again*."
>The caller sighs heavily
"You help get rid of one, next thing you know one of the strike force becomes a cult member."
| >>771094
"I mean.. To be fair ah' could beat a fuckin' kangaroo too depending on where we fight, but I see pandas winning in like a flat arena made for 'em" -X
| >>771167
"Isn't that how cults work? They're like shrooms dude, once you kill them they spread their shitty ideas around like a pore cloud, and infect those who were nearby or that happening. Have you considered making a strike force that consists of deaf people?" -N
"How can you manage to say something so smart yet so stupid within the same sentence" -R
| >>771287
"What are you, reverse-psychic? It was the deaf cunt who said he kept hearing the voices of angels. I snapped his fingers to shut him up, honestly, if you where me, you would've done the same."
| >>771286
"Yeah, fuck it."
>The Aussie turns to shout at somebody.
>"Oi! We need context! Where are those cunts fighting?"
| >>771291
"Uh.. If I were you I'd be looking into a mirror right now asking myself if we're the baddies, I heard sort of an angel in my head once, are you snapping my fingers too you psychopath?" -N
| >>771299
"I don't like ya' too much but I'm invested now, where the fuck are they fightin'? We need this info 'mate' " -X
| >>771363
"Ok, yeah, I am baddie, but this was after him and his cultists shot me. Seriously, what the fuck do you to convince someone in sign language to shoot someone else?!"
| >>771388
"Have you tried putting both hands open in front of your face while looking scared? I have an uncle who went to war and that apparently is more effective than it sounds" -N
>Neil stops to take a sip, the noise of the sip however has no meaning nor clue of what he's even drinking
"For real now, can you convince everyone listening that you're not, uh.. Worse than the cultists?" - N
| >>771745
"You weren't there man, you didn't see what I see. Corpses, desicated for organs, blood being syphoned in to tanks. I did what was right. A few fingers isnt even a fair price for dozens of lives."
>The caller sighs.
"Don't forget that these people had families. It was a long night of phone calls, after we ID'd who we can."
| >>771364
>Too late, the guy on the otherside hung up, presumably to go continue the argument. If you're lucky, maybe he'll call back.
| >>771812
>The silence from Neil's side is.. Unusual, coming from Neil
"..I'll level with you man, if what you're telling me is true then I'm sorry you had to go through it, but I guess someone had to, it just happened to be you"
| >>771875
"Well damn bye to you too, my money's gonna stay with the pandas cause anyone who's seen them know those motherfuckers are scary" -X
"wh-Pandas are the cutest things ever what are ya' on??" -H
"On common sense that's what I'm on, a bear's a bear and that's how they get ya', you come close to the cute animal and boom, your face's gone" -X
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| >"RADIO WIRE, REESTABLISHING CONNECTION"
\
>"STATUS: CONNECTED"
\
>"NUMBERS"
>"555-XXXXXX MAIN LINE RAN BY NEIL"
>"545-XXXXXXX SECONDARY LINE RAN BY XII"
>"535-XXXXXX COMPLEMENTARY LINE RAN BY CALIFORNIA"
>"525-XXXXXXX NOT-SO-SPECIAL GUEST LINE RAN BY HOPE"
>"515-XXXXXX 'PRVT' BUSINESS LINE"
\
>"MUSIC, NEWS, EVENTS. 24/7"