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(Quest/open)MORPHINES ENTIRELY OFF THE CUFF QUEST!
| (Oh my lord. This is gonna be great, I can already tell.)
>Looking over at the angry Italian, Evening tilts her head slightly
"Excuse me, can I ask what's going on here...?"
| >>348211
>S A D L Y HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU FOR HE IS ITALIAN
>AND NOW HE IS TROWING PIZZAS AT YOU
>HOLY BALLS THOSE PIZZAS MUST BE FROZEN, OLD, OR BOTH FOR THEY ARE REALLY HARD
>your first opponent
>the other guy throws a tazer at you
"dont mind Vincent hes just pissed"
| >>348213
>Getting bombarded with the hard pizzas miffed the smol one slightly
"Is there any reason he's pissed? Did someone put pineapples on his masterpiece or something?"
>Catching the tazer, Evening points it at the one apparently called Vincent and shot (17)
| >>348216
"nah hes just high.
Also what you said but mostly just high"
(10)>dude just drops
"*Italian getting tazed sounds*"
| >>348219
"I see...At least he's pacified now..."
>Evening gently kicks the now downed Italian
"Sciocco~ (Silly~)"
| >>348221
"aheh sorry about him..
Some dude came into the shop and spiked his drink with some drug called "rush" then cooked a pizza with cinnamon and apricot jam as toppings and ran away"
>he shivers
"cinnamon and apricot...and i thought pineapple was bad.."
| >>348224
>Stifling a small chuckle, Evening lets out a quiet sigh
"It could work if it was a pastry..."
>She stops and thinks for a moment
"Rush, huh? I've heard about that, never seen anyone under the influence of it."
| >>348230
(you were not here when i did that)
"supposedly its like washing your brain with battery acid.
Dont quote me on that though i never tried.
Anyway there was a guy here earlier, he was investigating one of the major dealers in the area."
| >>348233
(Did what?)
"Sounds dangerous. Can't see why people would enjoy it."
>Evening shrugs and shakes her head
"I do hope that person will be safe. Tailing dealers usually isn't a cozy job..."
| >>348236
(stuff)
>uuummm eerr uuuhhhh
"anywa-"
>SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES
>AS IN IT IS LITERALLY RAINING PINEAPPLES
>if you would look to the building on your left's rooftop you would see a man in...uuhhhh aerrrreere
>rainbow coloured trench coat and fedora
"oi! Thats im! Thats the bloke oo spiked Vincent!"
>for some reason the mans accent turned into that of a south England ghetto person
"have you ever tasted a tangerine."
>he throws another pineapple
"would you like to try one!"
| >>348238
>First pizzas now fruits, truly the smol girl was a little annoyed and confused at the same time
>Looking back and forth at the man in the bright clothing and the now Englishman before being hit by the other pineapple
"Yes I have tasted a tangerine! So please stop throwing pineapples at us!"
| >>348243
>your words fall upon deaf ears as the pineapple dude is also high probably
>he now starts to chuck the spiky fruit specifically at evening
>and um er uh ah...yes! Aha!
>some pineapples literally explode
"oi!blooody fook! Madman filled em ruits with powder ee did!"
>conveniently one somehow explodes into a single python revolver with u rounds
>albeit slightly fruity
| >>348246
"A revo- you know what? I'll stop asking questions"
>Catching the revolver, Evening takes aim at the Pineapple Bomber and shoots at his throwing arm (19)
| >>348252
(7)>you hit his arm
>BUT NOW HE JUST STARTS FLINGING PINEAPPLE BOMBS WITH HIS OTHER ARM(5)
| >>348253
>Dodging the pineapples (10) Evening takes another shot at the man's other arm (12)
"Eat fruity revolver bullets!"
| >>348255
(14)>by some ungodly means, he *actually eats the bullet* probably influenced by the drugs
>6 shots left
| >>348257
"..."
>Face palming, Evening fires another shot at his arm (20)
"Don't actually eat the bullet this time, please!"
| >>348262
"Whoops! Didn't want to do that!"
>Laughing it off, Evening rubs the back of her head
"At least no other druggies will come after us, right?!"
| >>348272
>literally everyone else on the street is high on rush
>they all look at you and the unnamed chav
>run
"fookin ell roon"
| (Cyb needs more of this kind of shit.)
| >A catboomer climbs out of a green pipe. She adjusts the straps on her bright blue overalls.
"Did someone say drugs? I heard there were drugs that need doing! Slow down, everyone! Holy frag that is a lot of drugs to be on!"
| >>348283
>AND NOW EVENING AND UNNAMED CHAV IS RUNNING AWAY FROM AN ANGRY MOB OF DRUGGIES
"*ANGRY DRUG SOUNDS*"
>SOME START THROWING PINEAPPLE BOMBS (evasion roll)
>>349020
>you see this happen
| >>349054
>(roll: 406385 on a d1million)
>Yss puts on a moustache.
Sweet Sicilian stereotypes, that's a lott-a bombs-a! Fuck-a you, cock-a-roaches!
>She punts an overdone sports car at the crowd.
>(roll:Alfa Romeo)
>The stick shift jams and the steering wheel comes off.
Fuck-a you, angry drugs-a!Why you so mad, ah?
>She drops her terrible impersonation.
>Terrible impersonation takes 15000 ego damage from the fall!Goes home to start a family.
>Yss selects HEAVY CHAIR
>Use HEAVY CHAIR
| >>349443 >>349448
(i am completely ok with whatever you did.
But there are two problems.
1. You need to actually roll d20
2. I cannot understand what you wanted to do
| Who plays mortal Kombat
| >>349479
(Apparently, it was an attempt to punch an officer with a chair.
I can also play a role of your independent dice roller. I have the proper app on my phone.
-NaVi
| >>349780
>due to the fact that there are no cops for some reason, the nearest 'authority figure' is the leader of the druggie mob
(16)>you attempt to whack em with a chair, and hit them, buuuut its a chair thus doing f all
>the drug mob looks at you now
>run
| >>349784
Oh drek! I shoulda brought the laser guided chair... This is your fault, pineapples! It's because you don't come from pines, and you're not apples. Live up to your name, fruit!
>She runs like hell
>(roll: 7)
| >>349814
>you get a head start but
(9)>the mob contains the fury and pineapples of a drugged rino on their side and catches up quick
(1)>a pineapple bomb is flung
>the mob is now away from evening and nameless chav
| >Seeing the mob now away from her, Evening stops to take a breather
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| (I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS BUT I EXPECT CHAOS)
>while walking about the city one day
>ummm uhhh errr...
>you find a very angry Italian man who you know owns that one Italian place angrily throwing pizzas at another dude
"*something in Italian*"
"arrg why why are you doing this?"
"*you think you hear the words mozzarella*"