This thread is permanently archived
What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen on a job?
| I met a vigilente who had dildoes instead of hands, and who tried to stop me from fucking with a corp
It was funny.
| I found a used condom in a safe deposit box during a bank heist. Had to use all my will power to not laugh.
-Jhensen
| Well not on a job, but I once bought suicide pills from a vending machine. Turned out to be hard candy called Suicide Pills. Bag said "know the taste of death!" Flavors like "drowning" (seawater), "hemlock" (mediciney), "rat poison" (cheese), "razorblades" (metallic). The brown ones were labeled "eat shit and die" and I threw them away. What is even the market for nasty inedible suicide candy??
-YSS
| I mean, I saw a full grown man in a dress openly shave his "junk" in a food joint on my break. . . Does that count?
| Do ya ever try to rob a cult only to get into a car chase with a bunch of burly men in skirts?
>N3verW3re
| >>305552
It'd be funny if they were really just chocolate, but I don't want to know! Just eew!
-YSS
| Well that was on my old workplace some years ago on April 1. A workmate from me reprogrammed one of our Mashines wich normally produced Robitic Arms, to produce Dildos instead. But the thing was, he wrote the prgramm for that half a year ago and completly forgot that. Then it comes, at it must. When April starts he was in his Vacations and nobody could stop the maschine from producing Dildos. The whole charge was a completly mess.
| It took me a whole day to find his code within the normal programmcode. And deleted it.
After he was back i told him the Story, and we decided to say it was a Hacker attack. In this moment we couldn't laugh about the Situation because we both got scared that we will get fired soon. But now after serveral years, we can laugh about it really much.
-Ritrivia
| After joining a maid cafe, there doesn't seem to be one empty day that isn't crossing off as "weird".
In my first day, a drunk customer was carried over by a blob of panties. That much is enough for an introduction.
Then let's not mention the customers that is visibly having sexual thoughts when looking at the maids. I don't blame them, though. That is what most signed up for, I presume. -Uni
| Had a patient the other day that decided to try out this new bodyparts implantation thingy, and ended up with a bunch of tentacles that kept raping herself, instead of being able to use them to have fun with her partner as she originally planned.
Almost died due to hypoxia as well, we got her barely in time to get her under care and amputate damn things. Keep in mind, kids, crazy sex is good and all, but your heart, lungs and brain can only take so many orgasms.
—JoKey
| A couple of girls were sent to school by 2 mind-uploaded Lilim (an interestingly shaped and decorated vehicle/mobile vending machine respectively) and a local business owner. I can't divulge too much out of respect for the people involved, but it was a definite departure from their usual method of getting to school.-Trill
| I had to deliver a bunch of chemicals to some crazy scientist working out of the ruins of a hotel when Shadowrunners started shooting up rooms above us. I was stuck in a hotel with a very rude doctor for AN HOUR. And I was thrown a gun to use. I haven't taken any clients from cutouts since.
- Unit 00
| Delivered some Tofu and saw this Mazda FD3S 2XXX remake y'know, I passed it by but still that was weird.
| I kinda threatened my kinda boss with kind of a metal pipe once over accumulated stress and paranoia, mixed with an anonymous dead treat, Good times. -Neil
| >>306037
That reminds me... You ever get any patcher customers? Augmentation addicts who just cannot stop themselves?
There was this bug-eyed neckless midget patcher with gorilla arms, who regularly dropped his bright blue turds on the soccer field at my school. GCPD caught him in the act, so he puked up a unicycle and rode it all over the campus. When they tackled him, he molted and ran around naked. Cops were like "he's cloaked himself in the ladies' room!" Client of yours?
| This serial kidnapper kept all of his victims in a sex dungeon with millions of zenny worth of tentacle boxes.
They were lolis by the way.
This thread is permanently archived
| Exactly what it says on the tin. I know weird shit happens in Glitch all the time but I'm looking at things you've personally seen, that aren't publicized. For example, one of my own extraction jobs went awry and we had to take a detour through an old house with a weak floor. Floor caved and we learned the hard way that said house belonged to a literal rat fucker.