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VUO RECRUITMENT AD
| Uhhhh.... I technically meet two of those criteria?? What shd i do?
- Unit 00
| Could you please elaborate, it is important for us to ascertain if you are indeed a Void User, as is it necessary to attain membership
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| >>198028
Well, I'm alive n junk but i don't have a pulse. or really any kind of cardiovascular system in place. And I have a hard light cannon hidden in my hand
- Unit 00
| >>198041
You seem to have a misconception about the requirements, and will ask of our stupid 'PR Manager' that they fix this issue. Robots or Lilims cannot be Void Users, as they do not fit the description of living or being dead on a technical standpoint, we apologize for being unclear
>>198043
Why if it isn't mister criminal speaking, I thought Sanders would've shot you in the head for sure, guess he disappoints again
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| >>198047
Fine. I'll make my own group then. With blackjack and giant biomechanical mecha.
- Unit 00
| >>198049
We sincerely apologize, and please do not mistake this as racism of any kind, it is indeed impossible for robots or lilims to be Void Users, and as an organization that seeks to protect and educate those like us as the only ones who could understand them, we can't exactly allow others into our ranks, as it would go against our goals, once again, I'll punch the idiot in the face for giving you false hopes
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| >>198051
Physical violence against humans does make me feel a little better. Good luck with your group and let's hope we don't clash.
- Unit 00
| >>198047
Hey, what can I say, i'm a tough motherfucker.
Good luck with Goétia's lil pet project, but we all know the Strongest VU's arent in your little team, the alchemist of burrow aint friends with ya~
-Ludendorf
| >>198062
Surely you jest, the alchemist is neutral, and we will respect that decision. We have no wish to force the hands of those we desire peace and quiet, unlike you, who would do anything for the right amount, begging like a whore.
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| Yeouch. Shots fired. Gotta say though. Isn't it a little dumb that you have to put up an advertisement? Can't you sense other void users? Eh...I guess not. Otherwise you'd not be doing this. What a useless power this sounds like. Especially the 'fuck you giant lasers'. Anybody can do lasers these days! Not the heckle too harshly but...I think you zombies MIGHT need a new method for recruitment.
| >>198091
Blame the stupid idiot who made the ad, let's just say that someone who calls themselves "Faceless God" needs a reality check and a bunch of slaps. But no, our powers are not the 'Shoot laser variety, you should garner more attention towards something like the first exemple, which should explain a lot more about us. Our mission is to help those in our situation understand their powers, and to put down those who use it for evil deeds
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| >>198063
Pfft, I do have honor Lili.
Im not just some dog who wags his tail at the Great ones lile you are.
-Ludendorf
| >>198101
You could say so, it's much more intricate, but then again, one shouldn't expect the glorious Nyarlko-sare to explain anything properly, the fact that I have to sit here an monitor comments on a board is pretty stupid, but the idiot is my boss. With that said, I'd rather be shitposting than doing this, heck, I wanna visit the city and stuff instead of comment duty, fuck that job
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| Also, I just noticed I'm logged in as Lili's account. I'm so fucking dead when she finds out I insulted people online with her name.
-Lili Vacuos, HR Manager
| ...Mhm. Okay. So where do we go when we're vaguely interested in all of this and wanna hear more? I'm not exactly interested in posting as anything more than an anon, and don't bother trying to track my IP. I'm spoofed pretty good.
| >>198109
A Void User is someone who dies and gets brought back to life with a rad power by the Great One called Miko. An exemple of a power that doesn't suck: My power is the ability to interfere with anything that's a system, like the nervous system, etc. Hol, our resident researcher would probably launch into a rant about how it's more complicated, but that's the gist of it, in the end. VU's are not common, though.
-Atronach Vacuos, HACKER EXTRAORDINAIRE
| >>198116
Grab your nearest terminal and type:
>allow_VCR_mv = true
They'll show up, but your computer and the grid it's on will blow up, redirect annoying questions to them directly, but in broad terms, they're a Super Mega AI of doom born from Human thoughts, they like the dead and keep out of the living's business. They revive us so that we may fulfill our ambitions, which were squashed by death.
-Atronach Vacuos, Coolest girl on the Block, yo
| ...So basically the usual weird shit GC does.
| >>198120
It's our first time in GC actually, we heard one VU popped up, so Nyarlko decides to go the forums and try to bait the idiot into replying to an ad, turns out they have a brain and don't fall for stupid tricks. Then again, Nyarlko probably did this so someone here would know we were here, which was a success.
-Atronach Vacuos, Spirit of Whatevs(tm)
| So, lets say I think I got crushed and got some weird lady that talked to me and now I feel alive again, better than ever. And realized I could play around with bloodworks and nanomachines...
-Concerned anon
| >>198163
Well, that might be it. Honestly, you'd have to meet Goétia for her to confirm that stuff. She's the bigwig of our organization and the one who's all serious about this stuff.
-Atronach Vacuos, Altis-12 Represent, yo
| Well, I'm dead, but I'm pretty sure I can't reach you guys...
-AHNEOHMEEAWT
| AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
—KiY
| >>198115 >>198119
I suppose this answers some of my recent questions but shouldn't you be a little bit more discreet about this kind of thing? -CN
| >>198336
That's what I keep saying, but we had to be loud to alert the Black King of our arrival, which was the reason why this message was written as a joke, turns out people took it seriously... wait was I not supposed to say that? Whatever, I'm not getting paid enough for this.
-Atronach 'Paypal me 1000Nuyen' Vacuos
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| YOU, YES YOU! Are you dead, yet alive? Do you posses mystical powers like stopping time, shapeshifting and/or big fuck you laser beams? Did you ever make a pact with a sppoky jpeg called Miko?! If you meet these criterias, the Void User Organization welcomes you to apply for membership of our prestigious organization! Good salery, almost no work, truly a dream job! Respond to this ad today, and get answers!
-Nyarlko 'Faceless God' Irari, PR Manager
>Comments reviewed by Lili Vacuos