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Planning a luncheon!
| >65%
Filthy bourgeois
| MMM STEAMED BURGS
| HELP! HELP!
| So you're saying you want an unforgettable luncheon? -CN
| ... fuck me, my boss is here- (despite giving him intentionally obtuse directions!)
WHAT DO!?
| If you nees a plan B you can pretty much speed-roast with a type-f what would take hours in the oven. Just pay attention and do not creak the laser to max, okay?
-Saiko
| >>195089
So you're saying that I could just modify a common house hold low power consumer grade weapon into a turbo-broiling device?
>Delightfully devilish, anon.
>>195098
Nono, he's literally just outside- I'll need to play this carefully... but thanks for the offer! I got to go!
| Lunchanon back, thanks, you've screwed me anons. >:C
So I tried roasting what was left of the pig roast and my boss walked in on me while I was setting up the lasering apparatus to the correct wavelength frequency so as to not accidentally immolate the majority of my pre-fab apartment's modest foundations, sending me to my death.
| And when boss asked me what in god's name I was doing, I managed to convince him that we're... uh... having "Beamed Hams."
You know, like laser beams?
Needless to say he took the bait EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HE DISTRACTED ME AND NOW I HAVE A CHARRED OVEN AND FLOORING,
I'M ABOUT TO GET /BURG/ERS.
| >>195164
Alright here's the strat dude: go get some /burg/s. Say you forgot to get some milk or something. Sneak em into the kitchen, cook the burgers a slight bit longer, put a pinch of pepper on em, boom. Entirely new /burg/. Serve those up.
-RaIn
| >>195176 >>195181 >>195184
Ok, ok, ok, I have the /burgs/, I have the /burgs/...
Now to plate them and serve them... will report back soon... I hope...
| >A mic-stream suddenly turns on, much, it seems without the OP's knowledge. Though weak, you can make out what sounds like someone humming to themselves in the background.
| >>195164
I'm so sorry, it can be really hard to get a handle on it, I almost set my kitchen on fire the first time I tried to make "beamed" food. But done correctly you can explode eggs in less than 0.1s, ham should be fine in theorey.
-Saiko
| >"Whew, Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering /burg/ers!" says a nervous voice.
>"...I thought we were having beamed hams."
>"Er, yes, that's exactly what I said, that's what I call /burg/ers."
>"You call /burg/ers... beamed hams."
>"Yes, er, it's a local dialect!"
>"Ok, from what district?"
>"Uh, Westport?"
>"Well, I used to serve with the Glitch City Coast Guard, and I've never heard the phrase "beamed hams.""
>"Oh no, not with them, I meant in West District."
| Wb anon, since a while
| >"I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at the /burg/er restaurant.
>"Oh no, patented Laserburgers. Old family recipe- from off world.
>"For beamed hams."
>"Yes!"
>"Yes. And you call them beamed hams... despite the fact that they are obviously fried."
>"...Ye- you know, the- the uh, one thing- er, I should- Excuse me for a moment-"
| FRAG FRAG FRAG HELP HELP WHAT DO I DO MAN, WHAT DO I DO- wait, how long has this mic been on?
| Yes
| >>195264
>As the drone camera nears the building, the first thing you see is that apparently the entire kitchen is on fire.
| >>195271
Hide what?
Thanks for the dessert by the way, I really appreciate it chummer-
>Through the camera, you see him exit the door back to the kitchen, and overhear the following conversation:
>"Well that was wonderful, a good time was had by all, I'm pooped! Would you care for an eclair?"
>"No, no, I should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?"
>You see a middle aged man pointing at the door and the increasing smoke.
| >"Er, Aurora Borealis."
>"A Aurora Borealis. At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the world, in our orbit, localized ENTIRELY within your kitchen?
>"Yes!"
>"...May I see it?"
>"No."
>The two men then disappear from the dining room...
| >Shouting in the camera,
>"THE HOUSE IS ON FIREEEEEEEE!"
>"No mother!" Comes the reply, "That's just a trick of the sun on our atmosphere!"
| >The fire continues to engulf the entirety of the kitchen.
| Whew, that was close- he even said I beam a good ham!
| YOUR KITCHEN
| >>195296
I can help.
>the drone enters the kitchen.
>it creates a white fog.
>the fog puts out the fire and disappears.
>the drone leaves.
Dont ask why my delivery drones can do that.
>N3
| With enough juice a type-f could 'blast' out fires, just saying.
-Saiko
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| My fellow deckers, sammies, undercover Lone Star operatives and other violent rumormongers of the night, I'm having a boss over for lunch and I was wondering if anyone could help me plan it?
I purchased a delicious looking roast pork that apparently is at least 65% meat (the rest soy protein) and I was planning to pop it in the oven just before he arrives, at least a few hours before. There's a /burg/er brand burger restaurant nearby, but I figured it'd be more homely this way. ^^