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(Setting) Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Dungeon
| (ooc: AAANNNIIIKIIIIIIIII)
| >And something in the wind tells the depth, that it does not wait in vain! What are those figures, are those another brave souls to challenge Dungeon ♂ Master? Will they triumph and have their Deepest ♂ Darkest ♂ Fantasies fullfilled, or will they forever remain Dungeon ♂ Master's slaves?!
| One of those figures is a lama. Not just any lama, but a lama named Paul. Paul stands mighty before the entrance, with his blue hat.
| >A blonde man stands outside the storehouse, wearing a set of mechanic overalls with the top portion tied around his waist to show a white, grease stained undershirt. He's speaking on his phone
"Ey billy you sure this a place where ah can find one of them slime girls"
>"Yes I'm sure Kurt. Ah read it on the interwebz so it's definitely true"
| >A large powersuited vigilente watches on, his suit gleaming in the dark as tears stain his bandages within his mask
"I honor you old friend... I will become the new Boss of this gym, for you"
| >>194790 >>194791
>And here they are, brave heroes... or possible slaves...
>Large storehouse entrance stands before the man and the lama, Dark and Silent. Rows upon rows of boxes are visible inside, forming a labyrinth of it's own. But this is only a beginning of the Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Dungeon, as the main treasure, fullfilment of the Deepest ♂ Darkest ♂ Fantasies lies deep underneath, guarded by the Dungeon ♂ Master himself.
| >The Lama attempts to push the doors aside to make its way in.
| >>194805
>And failes miserably, as the door is already open, showing rows upon rows of boxes in the Dark ♂ Depth of the storehouse.
| Color mcgreini
| Nmrlzibha gostei dessa porra
| >>194805
>The Hillbilly rubs his eyes at the hatted lama
"what the hell?! Ah must be seein thangs"
"Ah what the
| "Ahm sure I didn't take any grass today"
>he moves to poke the Lama with a wrench
| "AH blergh fghphlltt WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Ah'll show you"
>The hillbilly angrily swing his wrench to the Lama's head in a killer rage!
| >The lama rushes away further in to the dungeon, but not before spiting you in the eyes, now making happy laughing sounds.
| "ah sonofabi-"
>Kurt rushes inside to give chase, wiping his eyes through the way
| >Paul, keeps running until there is something to spit at. Still laughing at Kurt
| >>194867 >>194867
>And deeper the rabbit's Tight ♂ Hole goes! Both the man and the Lama run into the Dungeon, and the entrance closes behind them, as it closed behind many future slaves before. Instantly both Paul and Kurt find themselves in complete darkness - open entrance was the only source of light in the storehouse. Naturally, running around rows of heavy boxes without any way of navigating yourself might lead to sudden anal circumference.
| >Paul stops, and starts spiting in all directions, hoping to set off a trap.
| "ahh what the hell"
>Kurt turns around to inspect the suddenly closed door, like every person to have a door closed on them ever. But not before taking out the flashlight from his pack
| >>194935
>Despite being completely unable to see, Paul spits with almost supernatural accuracy, definitely hitting something. Whatever his targets were, none of them contained traps... Or these traps simply did not react to the animal spit.
>>194941
>Kurt flashlight lights up a large storehouse door closed shut... Like literally any other door that any person ever had to have shut on them. It is most likely closed in a b-movie kind of way, making it impossible to open yet.
| >kurt kicks the door like every other angry half witted idiot to exist in a B movie.
>Seeing as it doesn't open. He shrugs and turns around to go deeper into the depth. Looking for a slime girl yet thoroughly spooked
| >Paul Spits in the direction of the flashlight, to keep Kurt coming deeper in to the dungeon.
| >An annoyed Kurt wipes the spit off the flashlight and goes on in a different direction
| >Paul tries to go deeper in to the dungeon, very carefully as to not bump in to anything, using his spit to see if it's dangerous.
| >>195014
>And there he goes, leaving poor Paul alone, in the Deep ♂ Darkness! But he doesn't go too far, as soon he finds himself right in front of the storehouse wall. Kurt raises his flashlight and sees a large metal box. Could it *possibly* be the infamous box filled with fuses and an occasional lightswitch that somehow controls the entire building's lights?.. No way, it can't be *that* easy.
| >>195044
Meanwhile Paul succesefully, if not after a couple of unfortunate bumps, reaches the other side of the storehouse. While moving in a mostly straight line, through what seemed to be a literal mase of boxes, in complete darkness. He sees a door right in front of him, the door that almost screams Plot ♂ Continuation... Yet the door handle is round! Oh, a bain of animal's existance, the lack of human hands!
| >Paul spits at Kurt, to get him to open the door, while also making lama related noises.
| >Paul searches for the source of the spit. A wrench in his free hand and murder in his eyes
"ILL FUCKING SIT YOU ON A STICK YOU STUHIPID FUCKING HORSE"
| >(woops Kurt)
| >>195088 >>195097
>While Paul somehow, SOMEHOW manages to hit Kurt with his spit with an accuracy of a guided missile, there is still a maze of heavy boxes between them, filled with Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Darkness, obscuring the sight. Thus, Kurt remains unable to pinpoint the location the spit came from. Perhaps this *extremely convenient* totally-not-a-lights-box would help?
| >Paul, upon hearing Kurt's rage, tries to push forward the door.
| >Kurt runs face first into a box as he rushes at the direction of the spit. After a few moments of cursing and smashing his wrench into the box. He collects himself and finally notices the lightbox and approaches
| >>195115
>It looks like the door is not closed in a cheap B-movie fashion, and can actually be forced open. Yet, apparently, the strength check has been failed...
>>195122
>Kurt now stands in front of a slighty damaged lightbox. Something was clearly wrong with this place, as the lightbox was fully intact mere seconds ago. For some reason, it appears to not be locked, like any normal lightbox would.
| >Kurt checks the lightbox open taking full advantage of the highly useful evolution that is fingers
| >>195149
>Ah, hands! What a miracle of nature! Yet, it truly doesn't seem to be that easy. Inside the box is indeed a lightswitch. Probably, somewhere. After searching a bit for the word that would have depicted the insides of the box the best the word 'clusterfuck' was chosen. Oh there were switches alright. Tons of them. And also wires. All connected in a way, that did not seem to have a clear patter. Pressing things at random could help... Or make Kurt's life much, much worse.
| "I'm a garbage man not an electrician"
>Kurt sighs and decides not to touch the mess. He wanders around some more
| >>195175
>This is what a wrong point allocation leads to. Defeated by a puzzle from the different skilltree, hero wanders off into the maze of boxes, his flashlight a beacon in Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Darkness. And instantly gets lost, most likely due to his own topographical cretinism. But, maybe the boxes the heroes neglected for so long, mistaken for regular obstacles, contain something of value?
| >kurt finally getting sick of a maze of boxes tries to kick a wall over
| >Paul, apparently having some semblance of intelligence, spits at Kurt, shunning him for being stupid, then proceeding to headbutt the door again.
| >>195198
>That was a big mistake on Kurt's part. Really big. Mistake the size of a wall of very heavy boxes filled with... something yet undetermined. And as with many mistakes, the consequences hit immediately, and, unfortunately, quite literally.
>While Kurt successfully hit the wall, due to some mistake in his calculations, instead of falling away from Kurt, the wall fell ON Kurt, burying him underneath, and dislocating his left shoulder. And then he got spit on.
>oof
| >>195207
>Well, hands are overrated anyway. It is hero's determination that allows him to overcome his obstacles, not his skills or abilities. In this case, it seems like just a little bit more of said determination is required.
| "gohfuhkindamnit"
>Kurt grimances in pain. But being quite the retard with quite the background in retarded violence, Kurt forcefully snaps his shoulder back into place as if he's done it before.
| >>195233
>Except this time it feels like something else snaps in his shoulder at the same time. Kurt is REALLY FEELING IT.
| "GUHFUKIN"
>Kurt is not doing well today. He takes out his phone to call the friend that told him he'd find a slimegirlfriend in some dark butthole of a place
"Eh. Billy. Firs'all fuck you and sec'nd get me the fuck outta 'ere"
| >Paul begins to flip over some crates, to find something of use to him.
| >>195290
>And finds a large shipment of dog armor. Who and why left a shipment of dog armor in these crates shall forever remain a mystery - one of the many mysteries of the Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Dungeon. One thing is known for sure however. While the size does fit Paul, it is, oh such a tragedy, requires someone's hands to help putting it on.
>>195280
>Meanwhile Paul would in terror realise something horrible. He could almost *feel* some sort of circumference, and it blocked phone signal!
| "ah. Well. Fuckit"
>Calming down. Kurt realizes the situation dawning on him. He begins to feel fear. He didn't want to die here. And the fear of death. This fear seeped into his perception of the environment, the darkness. Fuck. He rushed into a dark warehouse without a thought coming from somewhere beside his pants. His view of the whole thing turns around. There was no slimegirlfriend to be foundnhere. Only death
| (lol mixed sentences up mid edit.)
| >And Llamas too, but the reminder of Paul's frustrated noises.
| >In the Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Darkness only Dungeon ♂ Master can hear your screams. True despair lurks every corner of the Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Dungeon, ready to jump even the bravest of heroes — and turn them into slaves through horrible anal circumference...
>Will our heroes find the strength to move on, and overcome their fears, or will Dungeon ♂ Master laugh, as two new slaves join his retinue?
| >Paul, hearing the narrator, attempts to spit at him, in steel-hearted resistance.
| >Kurt despairs at the lack of cute slimegirls as he ventures on. flashlight in hand. Pain in the other
| >>196635
>And indeed mighty his spit, able to pierce even the toughest wall in existence — the fourth one. Sadly, the narrator is outside of Paul's effective range.
>>196639
>So Kurt ventures on, to boldly go where no man has gone before! Only to stumble upon the boxes he has knocked all over the place. Minor event by itself, how deep did it cut into hero's brave heart after all he already went through? Who was at fault? Universe, the boxes, the hero for not looking where he goes?
| >Kurt checks the items that fell from the boxes. At least maybe something useful might be found
| >>196679
>Most of said boxes contain some kind of high-tech electronics. Extremely fancy and probably very useful — for someone with points allocated in electronics.
>However, Kurt does find something that suits his taste, quite literally — a box filled to the brim with military rations. Yummy, nutritious, with different flavors. Simply eating only would feel like having a bonus to saving throw. If Kurt had an ounce of idea to what the hell kind of joke 'saving throw' is.
| >Paul attempts to look through some more boxes, or spit at them. or Kurt. Spitting at Kurt was always pretty funny.
| >>197624
>Not too many items within the boxes are useful in the situation heroes found themselves in, and even those useful - like flashlights, ropes, and an occasional knife - most unfortunately require hands to operate them.
>And now all of it, including poor Kurt, is covered in llama spit. Ugh.
|
|
|
| >Paul grabs a knife with his mouth.
|
| >Kurt sees the rations picks a boxful up and heads to a corner
|
| >>203466
>Loaded on yummies, Kurt proceedes into an unspecified corner of the warehouse — to find a small door there. It doesn't look locked, but there is one problem. For whatever reason, it is llama-shaped.
| >>206023
>Kurt sighs. Stepping through the door while munching on yummies. His last meal he thinks to himself
| >Paul tries to look around and orientate himself. And maybe find something to spit the knife at.
| >>206039
>Attempt to step through the llama-shaped door becomes quite a challenge for Kurt. After multiple failed approaches, he manages to put his head through the doorway, to find himself looking at the stairway, leading further down.
>>206044
>And Paul finds himself a juicy target for knife spitting — wriggling Kurt's butt, that sticks out of a small llama-shaped door a dozen meters away to Paul's left.
|
| >Paul, for once, decides not to use violen- wait no, that's out of script... AAH FUCK, that fucking llama spit at me! Fucking fine, Paul the llama decides to tap on Kurt's back, with the hilt of the knife.
|
| "Huh wuzzat"
>Kurt turns around seeing the llama with a knife. A knife!.
> Where there was once rage, there was the blank expression of having given up
"Ahh hell just geddit over with"
| "Huh wuzzat"
>Kurt turns around seeing the llama with a knife. A knife!.
> Where there was once rage, there was the blank expression of having given up
"Ahh hell just geddit over with"
|
| >>213875
Someone help, Paul is holding me hostage
>Paul motions for you to move aside. While Kurt is stupid, he never did anything to Paul.
|
| >Kurt gets on the ground, then starts rolling sideways. He's depressed now weeee
| >Paul was expecting a worse reaction, but this will do. Paul himself now attempt to go through the llama sized hole.
| >And goes through the door like a glowing 1000 degree red hot knife through the butter. Behind it is a Deep Dark Staircase of Plot Advancement, leading into the darkness.
>>214208
>Meanwhile Kurt successefully becomes Depressed, gaining -2 to Will, Perception and Spot checks.
| >Kurt on the floor balls up hugging his knees. Waiting for death
| >Even death's kicking Kurt on the ground now. That's double depressing. He rolls around on the floor curled up in a ball trying to feel better
| >Paul returns, giving Kurt a spit in his ass, for old times sake. also forgetting that he was holding the knife with his mouth, so the knife now flies towards his ass. Whatever, Paul don't give a shit.
| >As the Kurt delves into the depth of his depression, laser-guided knife spat by Paul homes in on its target, hitting Kurt's butt blade first.
>Only to bounce away from the extremely hard butt cheeks. What a hardass.
| >"Fucking hardass."
>Paul thinks to himself, as he grabs Kurt by his clothes, using his mouth, and drags him through the hole.
| >As the knife bounces off kurt's ass with a clink. He realizes that there at least something came out from living in a home with 9 sex offenders. Maybe this could be the start of his turn around. Maybe his ass could get his ass out of the mess. With a renewed spirit... He gets forcibly dragged through a llama shaped door hole
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| >Deep inside Flooded districts stands a lone building, a storehouse. This storehouse is well-known within Glitch City, as one of the many urban legends. They say this storehouse to be home to Van. An artist, a performance artist. They say if you can get through the labyrinth of his Deep ♂ Dark ♂ Dungeon, Van will make any, even the deepest, darkest fantasy come true.
>Many a brave soul went into the storehouse, only to remain as slaves to Dungeon ♂ Master.
>The depth await...