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Types of Mechs and the crazies who pilot 'em
| >What is a "mech"?
If you 'un born in the last three, maybe six, centuries, you'll probably recognize 'em when you see 'em, but ah'll go ahead and describe 'em anyway. A mech is one of many terms for a variety of, ultimately, non-tread or wheel based tanks that take on a vaguely humanoid appearance, depending on the designer. Some may argue that just because a 'mech uses treads or wheels doesn't mean that they're a mech, but those someones are also no one's and need to shut.
| By this point in history, every one and their mother has built their own version of the 'mech, and has given them all kinds of fancy names to differentiate them from each other, give 'em fearsome soundin' designations, or allow their various corporate law-school sharks to patent them, thinkin' someone won't just rip them apart at the scrap heap regardless of the manufacturer.
Some common terms are "mech," "battlemech," "walkers," "titans," "gears," "frames," and variations.
| At this point ah see the need to point out a major difference before all you chum nuggets start callin' dem White Knights and Justice Wardrobers and fancy smancy corporate security "mechs-" dere not. Dere is a massive difference between "powered armor" and a "mech," and the main difference is that, >If a mech's power system dies, the pilot is stuck and unable to move.
Because they're VEHICLES, Gab damnit! VEHICLES! POWERED ARMOR IS NOT VEHICLES!!
>A picture is uploaded...
| >...it depicts a man in a thick suit- you can see his face through the helmet and he has spread "wings" and is in the process of jumping into the air, with jet boosters attached to his back.
>Another picture is posted- it appears to be an aging, but no less threatening design, an easily ten or more story vehicle with a fighter jet-like cockpit, two sets of missile racks above it, two "arms" with heavy lasers, and two obvious legs- underneath it says, "Timberwolf II."
| See in picture A, in the event that that chummer's jet suit fails for some reason (and it did often, that's a real old model), he would still be able to move about, albeit slowly, because dem old suits didn't have reinforced actuators or lumbar support.
Meanwhile, this big beastie over here... heh... the Timberwolf... if the core shuts down, ye ain't goin' anywhere, chummer.
Now, with that outta the way, lemme go ahead and give a brief explanation of the kinds of mechs out dere
| First are the smallest, the kinds that are most likely to be confused with powered armor because they're only slightly taller than a tall humie and because they're usually the most human shaped. >He posts a picture of a squat, boxy mech, barely ten feet high. It has a very thin viewing port and in addition to two squat, heavily armored legs, has two chainguns attached to both arms.
Dis here is a "Wolverine," old model infantry support weapon. Cheap, easy to produce...
| (is that mech warrior? +1 like)
| Easier to pop than a mega christmas calendar... if you have anti-armor weapons. Usually you'll see these in poor militias, or sometimes in swat fleets. Dependable, but not very heavy. I think DAVIK manufactures some updated designs for basic security. Needs only one pilot, core lasts a good several hours before needing to be serviced.
| You'll see variations of vehicles roughly this smol all the time- they serve the capacity of being fake-armor or so, when a security force or law enforcement can't afford heavier equipment. Basic shit.
Now then...
>A taller vehicle is posted, this one about a story or two. There are a few photos posted here, showcasing vehicles of differing designs, but the tallest seems to be about two, maybe three, stories. None of them are very "humanoid" aside from their legs, though.
| >In fact, most of them look like someone took the head of a tank and plopped them on wheels.
I know what yer thinkin' - "But Babbage, that looks like someone photoshooped a tank cannon onto a pair of legs" and damn right you are, that's basically what these are...
The first mechs originally evolved from the need to create mobile artillery and armor that could scale environments not meant for treads and wheels- which is to say, most of them. So the earliest designs,
| Referred to by various designations- chromes, walking tanks, etc, with walkers being the most common, were just that- tanks that had the earliest bipedal and quadrupedal transportation systems imaginable. They were a nightmare to create, worse to armor... and a joke in most military fields.
That was then, though. In the present day, you won't find a more efficient form of travel, my gurls. Generally speakin', these vehicles aren't very humanoid, which is fine from a defensive
| I'll give you an Irn Hassy Bru if you keep going
| standpoint. Less shit to blow off, less weak points, more armor, more heavy weapons, the works.
>An image is posted of a definitely ancient and archaic looking walker- it has a massive 150mm cannon jutting out of its side that literally looks like someone had just welded it on for shits and giggles. There is no obvious viewport- but a variety of lights and antennae stick out the top. Its very weathered but otherwise looks structurally sound. Next to the photo is the name "Touro."
| This baby is called the "Touro," which means "bull," and that's no bullshit. An ancient design, supposedly dating to before the galactic "Purge," this baby is among the oldest known "mechs" still in service- old enough that it still uses something approaching "lostech" and takes greasejockeys like me some time to get used to, but new enough to still be reproducible and manufacturable today. Some may say that our replicas will never be as durable as the old ones,
| but I say, they can STUFF YER JAB YA COCK WHEEZING PEN PUSHERS! GOD! LET ME HANDLE THE MECHANICS AND YOU HANDLE THE CONTRACT SIGNING, COCK MUNCHERS!
| Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...
So basically vehicles shaped roughly like this, in this class, very rarely have any formal designations- most people just call em mechs or walkers, cause that's what they are. They aren't humanoid and aren't meant to be, and to be fair, sometimes that comes with bad sides... like not being able to fire up and around objects.
But the same people who point this out also have to deal with the problems of losing limbs. Good luck "disarming"
| a Touro, my dear. Here, I'll wait.
*Clicks fire button.*
Oops. You took too long.
| *yawn* Solar's mercy, how long have I been at this? I'ma take a quick break fer some grub- when I return, we'll dive right into the approachin' big mother fuckers that most of you gearheads probably think of when you hear the word "mech."
And yes, I have even more pictures of my pretty little TImberwolf fer you to slot. be right back!
| oh and for anyone complaining about "where the are the Cores, where are the Frames, where are the glorified 30 story tall mecha fuck you lilim androids, I'M GETTING TO THAT, HOLD YOUR PROCESSOR UNITS, OH MY GOD.
| [User: Babbages is away.]
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| >[User: FF has joined!
Damn. I need to take notes. Copying this down for later usage, if you don't mind Mr. Babbage.
Maybe do one on powered armour next? We see that way more often nowadays as Glitch City citizens, since the entire damn Phoenix Corps uses them.
| >[User: JAY has joined]
Taking notes as well. Shits like these fascinates me.
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| Hey chummers, welcome to the thread- the name's Babbage, and today ah'm gonna learn you some varieties of robots, walkers, stompers, fliers, mechs, gears, frames, titans, and the like!
So grab yerself some soyakafe and sit tight, cause it's gonna be a long-ass lesson, an' ah don't feel like repeatin' me self, ah got shit to repair and people to put in that shit, ye ken.