This thread is permanently archived
(AD) SpriteUp Your Life!
| >The horrors continue.
"SpriteUp! Sprite up your life! SpriteUp! Sprite up your life! SpriteUp! SPRITE UP YOUR LIFE!"
"Hey chummer, are you a bummer? Turn that tummy to something that's YUMMY!"
"SpriteUp! Sprite up your life! SpriteUp! Sprite up your life!"
"With cool fresh flavor that you're sure to savor,"
"No one can resist our lemon-lime,"
"If you do, you won't have a good time!"
"SpriteUp! SPRITE UP YOUR LIFE! SPRITEUP! SPRITE UP YOUR LIFE!"
| >A reel of people that look far too clean and well off and healthy and physically fit and sexually desirable flits through at a hundred people per minute, each drinking cans of SPRITEUP! SPRITE UP YOUR LIFE! in increasingly unlikely and unrealistic manners. The reel finally ends with a woman drinking SpriteUp upside down with the drink pouring into their waiting lips from offscreen, in... er... let's say the "dutch angle."
| "SpriteUp!" >The ad finally concludes,
"It'll light up YOUR life!"
| fucking ad's on danger/u/ too?! Isn't there a place where someone can escape all this captialist nonsense!?
| ITS A *you have to pay for Danger/u/ Gold to see the rest of this comment*
| If I recall, SpriteUp's the main competitor to CoPepsi, and they haven't been doing so well. I guess they started trying to move in on CoPepsi territory to try and even the playing field.
| I'll pass.. I only drink Hassy
| Not cheap liquor?
Not interested
| Why don't you buy a Hassy today? The classic energy drink.. you could even get it in soda form!!!
| Ahhggg.. sorry they mustev hacked my arm to say that
| Since I work in association with Hassy.. and since they are close with Parallax.. and since my arm is from them.. they can randomly control it from time to time to spout ads
| -LightmanZX
| Thats fucked up man
| That's what I get for not fully reading the paper before signing.. good thing they are only allowed to do Hassy ads and nothing else
| So if, say they typed in the N word.. I could easily sue them for that
| But.. aparently it dosnt apply with some law so my friend is helping me sue them.. looking through the files and all that.. it's just, too convoluted and so broad to try and sue over.. like how do you even find the evidence
| That suck if you needed to sneak or hide from something and the Hassy AD suddenly shouts your position away
| "Drink Hassy!"
"Oh there he is!"
*Proceeds to get gunned down*
Remember me never to buy any augs, ever
| >>159121 never buy any augs, ever
Also lol if you use augs for anything internet related. Just use a vintage PDA and at least if it gets hacked your brain doesn't explode.
| >>159302
A little too late for that, but I hardwired myself, anyone hacking me would need a direct physical connection. Plus I wear a tin foil hat, so the governement and hackers cant hack into my mind and control me, checkmate.
| >̴̷̡̀͢>̶͘1̛͞͞5̶͘͝9̷̷3̴́́͞͠0̕͡4̵̡
O̷h͏̢̨͟͢,̴̛͞͡͡ ̷̧̀͞r̸҉̢͞é͠á̛́͞͞l̡̕͜ļ̴̶̧y̢͜҉?̛́
̵̀͡—̧̕͠M͢e̛͘r̨̨ļ̛͜͝ì̀n̨̕͢͢
| Got a box full of disposable phones and numbers. Gotta keep those MACs and IPs confused.
| They gave it to me for free.. and it's pretty high quality -LightmanZX
| Like.. extremly good quality.. the kind that hurts like hell to hit
| "Turn that tummy into something yummy" Implying its made from stomach, whoever designed this ad must be into some weird shit.
| I'm mad they changed the formula a few years back. Never buying SpriteUp again.
This thread is permanently archived
| >The datascreen suddenly changes to a blinding white light, so much so that even cybereyes with flash compensation have trouble reacting to it.
>"SPRITE UP! SPRITE UP YOUR LIFE!" Screams a disgustingly cheery, high pitched voice over from the datascreen. What follows is a complicated display of sun-based imagery along with a box with an exclamation point on it popping upward to reveal a small bit of text that says "1up!"